The Brains and the Bad Boy <Editing>

I Can't Take This

Blood was dripping onto the sink, each drop more pathetic than the next. I put my knife away and I put gauze on it to stop the bleeding. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, leaning against the wall, leaning my head back. How weak was this. I told myself I'd stop and I'm right back here again. I shook my head and grabbed the knife back out from the drawer, don't ask why there is a knife there in the first place I don't know, and held it over the toilet. It'd fuck up the pipes but at this point... I loosens my grip and the tiny object started to slip. But what if I need it?... I won't, I promise myself I don't. I let it go and flush it down. It clinks around as I hear it hitting each pipe it goes through. I wiped my eyes and sat against the wall weeping like a moron.
My dad was yelling for me to make dinner, I did as asked and warmed up left-over spaghetti. I made myself a small plate of spaghetti and added sauce from the fridge.
"You're fat. You don't need food." He told me and crashed my food to the floor. The plate shattered, my food splattered and I would have to clean it. He stared at me as I sat in my chair, studying my knees.
"Worthless little thing you are. I ought to get rid of you, you are lucky I keep you around." He said matter-of-factly.
"No, Mom is lucky she doesn't have to look at you anymore. Which is completely your fault. Remember, you gave her lung cancer?" I snarled at him and he stood suddenly. Damn my mouth.
"How dare you, you little whore!" He shouted and for once I didn't back down or hide.
"No, how dare you! You are a selfish, deluded, horrible person who I will refuse to acknowledge as a father anymore!" He stared at me with a look that had me shaking and my heart pounding.
"You think I'm your little maid. Clean for me, feed me, get me beer. I'm your fucking daughter for crying out loud. Do you think normal parents give their kids black eyes for doing schoolwork a bit late and not making them dinner? No, they don't. You're not the man I remember when I was 6 before you killed mom. I don't know what you are anymore. Give me another black eye if you want. I don't care, one more year and I'm out!" I screamed, near tears. He stared at me with fury in his eyes. He lunged at me and I dodged.
I ran to the front door and sprinted until my house wasn't in sight. I felt faint. My gauze were now red and not white, not even pink. I went too far. I fell against an empty bus top bench to catch my breath.
"Alice!" An angered voice bellowed and I decided to keep going. I was scared now, the confidence from two minutes ago has disintegrated.
The yelling ceased and when I turned, his faint silhouette had disappeared in the distance. I soon realized that I had no idea where I was.
I called Keith and he picked up after a few rings. "What?"
"I need, uh, help. I'm lost." I said lamely and he groaned.
"Fine. Where are you?"
"I'm lost." I reiterated.
"Street sign, Red. Read the street sign."
"Oh r-right. Zander Ave." I stammered as
I caught my breath.
"Fuck, stay there. I'll get you."
"O-ok." I stuttered as I looked around. The street was cracked beyond belief and the building were small and run-down. A rat scurried by my feet and I jumped back. This was a bad part of town. It was dark now and I looked around, I took off my gauze and let them float off. My arm was bleeding but not as bad, I pulled my sleeve over it. Lucky I was wearing black today. A group of 7 guys came out of literally no where. "What's a girl like you doing 'round here?" One said, eyeing me.
"Leave me alone, I'm waiting for someone." I said quietly
"Who might that be?" He smirked and I lowered my gaze.
"None of your business. Leave me alone please." I said more loudly, they were getting annoying.
"Feisty one." Another joked and I cringed. I starts inching away bit by bit until I was two additional feet away.
"Don't be like that." The first one smirked and I ignored him.
"Hurry up Keith." I mumbled, my foot tapping anxiously now.
"Keith? Like Keith Salway?" He questioned, I nodded slowly.
"I didn't know he had friends, let alone a girlfriend." Another joked.
"Ugh, I'm not his girlfriend." I scoffed.
"Fuck buddy?"
"What? No!"
"Friend with Benefits?"
"The fuck? No!" Keith turned the corner as I felt the need to puke. He stopped and tossed me an extra helmet he had. I mumbled a thanks and got on the back of his bike without a word, "nice one, Salway." One guy said with a wink and Keith made  the same look I did, disgust and annoyance.
"Like I'd tap a nerd." He scoffed.
"Dude, I'm literally right here."
"Shut up." He snapped at me before we sped off.
"Hey, you owe me anyway for covering for you." I shouted over the wind and he didn't respond. I sighed and stayed quiet the rest of the ride too.
When he dropped me off at my house I hesitated before walking up the walkway.
"You don't want to go home do you?" He asked me, I took a deep breath and shook my head.
"Not really but I kind of have to at some point." I said. My dad wasn't looking for me through the window so I guess he might be asleep.
"Huh, I can't believe I'm saying this," he mumbled but then made himself more clear, "Want to stay the night or whatever. Lauren might have something that'll fit you." I turned and shook my head.
"Jump on or I'm leaving." He gave  me one last chance, I bit my lip before back stepping and getting on the motorcycle. He revved it loudly before pulling out of my driveway as I saw my dad open the front door. "Shit."
"Alice!" I heard a yell but ignored it.
We made it to his apartment complex and I thanked him again. "Yeah." He exhaled before  we head up to his apartment. When we got in I saw two unfamiliar faces, a tall man who looked older than my dad by a bit and a guy who was taller than Keith and looked like a stereotypical jock. "Who'd you bring home this time?" The guy said sarcastically and I stayed quiet.
"Hi Alice!" Lauren shouted and gave me a tight side hug. I didn't move though, I wasn't a very cuddly person to begin with.
"Uhm hi Lauren." I greeted with a fake smile, I wasn't exactly in a warm, friendly mood unfortunately for her. "She needed a place to stay for the night." He explained somewhat annoyed though it wasn't aimed at me this time.
"Yeah, 'stay the night'. Heard that one before, eh K." His step brother joked, I was slightly offended though not much. Keith glared and I shifted uncomfortably.
"I just needed a place to stay, honest." I added in a tiny voice as I fiddled with my necklace anxiously. His step brother scoffed and I scratched the back of my neck.
"I need to use the bathroom..." I muttered before heading to the bathroom next to Keith's room. I grasped the sink as the door clicked shut. My arm had a thick layer of blood over it and I winced. Maybe one more? No, no, I'm done. I washed my face and rinsed off my arm leaving only my raw skin that was covered in horizontal scars from the end of my wrist the half up my forearm. I had nothing to cover it though so I held it to my side. I left the bathroom as I listened to arguing between Keith's stepdad and Keith. "you can't keep bring these... Sluts in my home." I didn't react and watched from the doorway. "Uh, Keith I don't think I'm very welcomed here. I'll take my chances going home." I told him as his stepdad made a sharp turn towards me.
"Please, if you would!" He exclaimed and I furrowed my brows together.
"Do you try to be an ass? Or is it just natural for you?" Keith shot at him with a sneer.
"Keith it's fine I can just leave if I make him so uncomfortable." I said quietly though it came out more sarcastic then intended. No one picked up on it luckily. The fighting went on, Keith told me to stay though I'm pretty sure it was just so he could yell at him a bit more. Everyone else was quiet, watching the fight and I felt horribly guilty for starting it. I figured it was fine since Keith asked. I knew Keith brought girls home a lot but I thought I'd be seen differently. I was wrong, again,
"I can't take this..." I mumbled and just left. I got to the top of the flight of stairs but was caught by the arm, I flinched and spun around. I was inches from Keith. "Where are you going?" He asked me, a soft look in his eyes.
"I don't know, I just don't think your stepdad wants me here and I feel awful for starting that fight." I told him honestly.
"Can you let go of my arm?" I almost pleaded and he did.
"He can't tell me what to do, c'mon." I hesitated before going back. I knew I really couldn't go home.
The apartment was quiet, everyone had cleared out.
"Lauren's room is over there. He told me and I nodded. I knocked on her door and she opened it a crack, peeking out her head. "Oh you're back, come in." she invited and I nodded.
"I need something to sleep in if you don't mind." I asked without stuttering this time.
"That's ok, I got something right here." She told me passing me a tank top and fuzzy pajama shorts. "Thanks, Lauren." She nodded and sent me out of her room. I showered a bit, the hot water stinging my arm something awful. I put cream on my arm and it almost covered the new cuts with white. I sighed, I put my jacket from earlier on over it. I looked in the mirror, her clothes were a bit tight on me but I didn't care I was tired. When I left the bathroom Keith was leaning on the wall on his phone. "Took you long enough, nerd." He said.
"Sorry." I murmured,
"I set up a place for you to sleep." He told me and I nodded. I went into his room and found a beanbag chair, small pillow and a blanket on top. I shrugged, it was better than under the porch. I tied my hair in a ponytail and laid down, I didn't fall asleep worried about tomorrow. In my house Sunday was "hide-in-the-attic-from-the-addict" day when he was usually at his worst. Keith walked in and crashed onto his bed. "Night, Red."
"Night, Keith... Thanks." I whispered as I shut my eyes.
"Whatever." Was that his answer to everything, pretty sure it is. I finally fell asleep soundly for once, that was until my phone woke me up with a bright flash and vibrate. "Hello?" I yawned groggily.
"Get home. Now." My dad growled and I rubbed my eyes.
"No." I whispered as I got up to go where I wouldn't wake anyone.
"Excuse me? Listen you little bitch, I want your fat ass home-"
"Why? Why do you care at all? You wouldn't care if I were murdered right now. You'd take satisfaction in it." I grumbled trying to keep my voice low.
"Tell me where you are so I can come get you." He ordered and I was tapping my foot.
"I'm at a friend's."
"You don't have any friends, Alice, don't lie." He scoffed and I stayed quiet.
"You know what? Don't bother coming home, you're done. I'm tired of you." He shouted into my ear and I tapped my foot.
"You can't kick me out, I'm your daughter who I might add is 17, not 18. Legally you can't kick me out of my house even if I want you to." I told me and he started yelling at me, me arguing back. I finally just threw my phone at the floor on impulse and put my face in my hands. "Red, you ok?" I heard behind me and I stiffened.
"I'm fine." I said sternly, still angry and anxious.
"I'll take that as a no. What's up?"
"I'm pretty sure my dad just disowned me. He just told me he was tired of me and wanted me gone." I said with a shrug, looking at my fiddling thumbs on the counter I was leaning on. He just nodded slowly, not replying.
"Why don't you call your mom?" He asked not really paying much attention.
"My mom's dead." I said emotionless,
"Sorry to hear that. My dad left me and my mom when I was ten and she started dating that fucker from before."
"My mom died when I was 6 from cancer. My dad smoked, more so now, all sorts of drugs and she literally got sick of it. She was doing good for a while then just died, he turned me into a little maid for him while he drank himself ill." I said, my tired mind blurting out everything, realizing it immediately after saying it.
"So because his little maid isn't home, he kicked you out?" He questioned and I shrugged.
"He can't do that." He scoffed and I sighed.
"After giving you the four cases of beer he had stored, I ended up sleeping under the porch." I sighed, not caring anymore.
"Christ... Ever called anyone?"
"When I was 10, Mrs. K, May's mom, called child care and my dad said I was grieving and looking for attention." I bit the inside of the cheek.
"How'd you get lost today, Alice?" He asked and I froze.
"I, uhm, got into a fight with him and he chased me out of the house." I said almost incoherently.
"Now I can't go back, he'll kill me. So much for all my stuff." I sighed.
"I'll get your stuff with you if you want." He told me, sounding like he was using every bit of niceness in his body to get it out.
"You'd do that?"
"Sure, whatever." He nodded.
"Now, I'm fucking tired. Your phone smashing woke me up. Can we, I don't know, sleep?" He asked annoyed. I closed my eyes and nodded. I pushed off the counter and picked up my smashed phone that has a spiderweb crack on the corner, it still worked luckily.
I couldn't fall back asleep, I laid awake, thinking about how appealing jumping out the window to my left sounded.