Escaping the Labyrinth

Chapter 3. Demented

I didn't feel like myself. I never felt like myself when she hit me. We didn't speak on the way to school. When I got there I literally wanted to break down. I knew that I wasn't going to my first hour. Which was algebra. As soon as I got to the top of the stairs I wanted to burst out into tears. By the time I got to the bathroom I was already crying. I got stares from the girls I didn't know and they didn't care enough to ask what was wrong. I went into the first bathroom stall and cried. I read the writings on the walls about how Ms. Phillips doesn't care about us and how the school really wasn't that great. I came out of the bathroom and I went to go talk to the nurse. I started  to talk to her after I realized she was pretty cool. She was also close to Steven. She was his best friends mom. I went to student affairs and went straight to her office. The social worker saw me, he always said that I could talk to him but I just didn't feel comfortable. Nurse G was so chill and funny I Just  felt safe around her. I hid out in her office all day. Steven came down during his lunch hour. The nurse wanted me to call child protective services, and I couldn't do that. I didn't want to end up in foster care separated  from my brother and I'd probably never get a chance to meet my baby sister. So I just had to deal with it. We talked about where I could live if things got to out of hand and Steven said that I could stay with him. The person I really wanted to live with was my Aunt. Chayna. I had always been close to her ever since I was little. After school was over I felt so sad. I didn't wanna go home. It didn't feel like home. I was so upset that I had to go home that I started to cry again. I started to talk to my friend Krista about it. She's like a super Christian. Child of God type. But she knew I wasn't really big on religion and stuff. She talked to me and gave me advice and she called a lady from her church. The lady from her church prayed for me and she told me that I should maybe write my mom a letter explaining how I feel. I kinda did that once. In sixth grade when we lived in Ohio I wrote a letter to myself when my depression first started. Explaining why I didn't want to be on planet earth anymore. She found it in my room and she read it, she cried. I thought about writing another letter but to her but I was afraid. I called my auntie on Krista's phone and told her about what was happening. Everyone already knew that she hit me so I stayed at her house for a few days. I was really hoping that things would get better but the truth is I'd never be the same after that. Steven start spending even more with Makayla after report cards came out. His mom said the only person he could talk to after school was her because she was "helping" him bring his grades up. They started to spend every second together. When you saw Steven you saw Makayla. People even started asking me if they went out. Steven was like the only person I had. He said he was around her so much because she was happy. Makayla The compete opposite of me. Steven and I started arguing more. So I told him that I'd just leave him alone for a couple of days and he said "thanks". My stomach started to feel funny. After that he said he think we needed a break. It was like my heart broke into a thousand pieces. A break? What does that even mean?? I felt like I couldn't breathe. I left out of the room and I went into my cousins room because nobody was there. I was having a panic attack. It was horrible. This was the first time I had one. A whole bunch of negative thoughts flooded my mind. "Is it over???" "I'm going to lose him!" I was breathing so heavily I was getting lightheaded I wanted it to stop. I puked all over my cousins floor. I was really loosing it. My world was slowly crumbling piece by piece. My grades were dropping, I was being abused, my first love was leaving me, and I had no one. I had no idea what to do. I kinda wished I wasn't so emotional and could handle my problems like a normal person. But I knew after all this time my depression was back.  I didn't think things could possibly get any worse. But before they did they got a little better. There was this boy who followed me on Twitter and would always favorite my tweets I would see him around school and we'd wave at each other but we never really spoke until he sat at my lunch table. His name was David. It all started here at the lunch table.