Jeanine Matthews- An Unlikely Love Story

Ch 11- Lust

Over the course of the next two days, not much happened. Winter was a bitch as usual and I had to catch up on the work I missed so I would be prepared for the final test. It was hard to believe initiation was almost over, but also it felt like a relief after many long days that felt like years.

Winter taught me the material, but that didn't make much of a difference in our relationship. She still gave me a hard time, but I was able to learn the lessons well enough.

She never once talked about the kiss. I never mentioned it either; it would be a death sentence if I did. She obviously didn't want anything to do with me, so it was better to just leave it at that.

Now today was the final day of initiation and the big exam. I got up early and headed down to breakfast. While I was walking down, I realized I had forgotten to wake Drake up. I slammed a palm to my forehead and decided I'd better go get him.

I was walking back to the dorm when Jeanine appeared out of thin air. I was surprised to see her up so early and asked her what she needed.

"Has Winter been teaching you your missed lessons?" She asked worriedly.

"Of course," I said, surprised she hadn't discussed the topic with Winter herself. "Is there any reason you didn't ask her yourself?"

"They've been keeping me on the medication," She said, seeming to change the topic. "I think it's tainting my logical reasoning and thinking."

"I hope it gets... better for you..." I tried to say something comforting, but nothing seemed to come.

"Just don't take everything I say... seriously. I fear the worst," She said, chewing her bottom lip. I nodded and she left without another word.

Drake was already walking out of the dorm, yawning and stretching. I went up to him and talked to him about how Jeanine was acting. He said it was probably nothing and that she was just trying to screw around with my mind for fun.

"She does that, you know. I've heard stories about what she did to people that way," He said grimly; it didn't make me feel any better.

"Great," I replied. We entered the dining hall after a few minutes and I went over to the line sulkily. Was Jeanine really just playing games with me, or was she truly unable to control herself? Either one was just weird.

I chose an apple and pancakes then went to a table, alone. I didn't really want anyone to sit with me. Victoria was just as much of a bitch as Winter, and I didn't want to have to deal with that. Drake was alright, but he still was a little off around me. I saw him laughing and joking around with some of his friends and it broke my heart. I wish I hadn't hurt anyone with my stupid actions, but I did, and there was no changing that now.

I ate alone and then waited for Winter to show up at the usual meeting place (beside the wall with the clock near the entrance). She came at about 7:30 and took me up right away for testing. I was the only one, so it made things a little awkward. It was a good thing she didn't talk to me or else it would've just made things worse.

"You will be taking the final exam in only a few minutes," Winter began, trying hard not to be monotonous. "It will consist of most of the material you have learned throughout your initiation process, so I hope to hell you were paying attention. You will have at least three hours to complete the test. More time will be given if necessary. Remember to do your best on this because it determines your fate of whether you will accepted into Erudite or become factionless. Transfers who score below an 80 will become factionless while Erudite born initiates who score below a 90 will become factionless. In rare cases if over fifteen initiates score below their designated score, the initiates with the second highest scores will be accepted into Erudite. Scores will be given at the dining hall during the evening meal. Good luck, though you should not need such a phrase." I nearly laughed at the last part; classic Erudite.

Winter passed me my large booklet and I began the test right away without question.

~

I finished after five hours, with a half an hour break to have lunch during that time. I felt like I did well, but I was anxious about my grade. Was I good enough to get in? I was glad I wasn't Erudite born or else I woud have probably gotten below the target score. I handed my test to Winter, and left to go to the dorm because I was unsure of where else to go.

As I meandered down the hall, I heard a door open and someone rushing out. I spun around to see Winter running down the hall headed straight for me. As she got closer, I could see that she was crying. Crying?

She stopped in front of me, sobbing uncontrollably. I asked her what was wrong and she only shook her head. She then grabbed my arm and pulled me along towards the elevator. I didn't question her; what would be the point?

Finally we made it to an apartment section of the compound, and her hand shook greatly as she typed the passcode for the door that read 7238. She opened the door with haste after a green light lit up indicating it was unlocked. She pushed me inside and I made my way to sit down the bed. The room was quite small, and there was no stairs leading up. She had a door to the right that led to a bathroom, but that was about it. The main room consisted of a small TV, a coffee table, two sad looking rocker chairs, a bureau, and a twin sized bed. Over to the right of the edge of the bed was a small indentation that was the kitchen. It had a stove, small refrigerator, a microwave, and a cabinet. It was ten times smaller than the dormitory.

"Winter, what is it?" I asked cautiously and worriedly.

"Jeanine," She cried while collapsing onto the bed.

"What about her?" I asked.

"She says that if I don't stop drinking, she'll destroy me by experimenting on me," She sobbed. I had never thought Winter was emotional, and this was just painful to watch.

"No... that can't be true..." I said in disbelief.

"It is true!" She cried. I tried to pull her into an embrace, but she pushed me away and ran into the bathroom. I braced myself for the sound of her getting sick, but heard nothing after a few minutes, only sobs.

I went into the bathroom and saw her on the floor beside the metal shower door. Her makeup was running down her cheeks and her lipstick was smudged. I helped her stand up, and she still continued to sob- I didn't think she was telling me the whole truth about Jeanine.

"Winter, please tell me why she would do such a thing. What did you do while drinking?" I asked desperately.

When she didn't answer I begged again.

"Please."

I could hear my voice ringing against the metal in the cramped room.

Before I could say anything else, she pressed her lips to mine. Her beautiful blue eyes closed but I didn't dare kiss her back. My eyes were as wide as they could possibly be. This was wrong. Beyond wrong. This was not as far as I intended to go.

Yet even though the voice of reason screamed in my head, I felt my eyes closing, my body relaxing, and my lips pressing towards hers.

We would both pay the price if anyone found out what happened.

"Jeanine," I said through a pause for breath.

We both opened our eyes for a moment, each fixated on the other.

"For one moment in time, let us forget who we are. We are merely two souls trying to find love and it's staring us in the face."

"But this is going too far," I protested quietly.

"We could go farther," She said and in that moment I couldn't even recognize her.

I pressed my lips to hers and she held me close. Her hand was strong on my upper back, like she was afraid I would disappear if she didn't hold me close.Her other hand was closer to my lower back and almost as strong, but she didn't make a move, even though she could've. There was no shedding of clothing at all that night, but what we did was something neither of us could ever speak of.