Aroace thoughts/rants, poems more

We hug now- sydney rose

So this song has been on my fyp for days and I can't not hear it in an aroace way.

"I have a feeling you got everything you wanted. And you're not wasting time stuck here like me. You're just saying it's a small thing that happened. The world ended when it happened to me"

I have so much to say. So much.

So first off, fandom spaces/consuming media in general.
There's almost always a romantic couple, it's almost always a main character with another main character too. It's rare a main character to not be in a romantic relationship. And romance will always kinda take over the fandom and be presented as more in shows.  "I have a feeling you got everything you wanted"

As a romance/sex repulsed aroace. Everyone else or at least everyone who enjoys romance which is most people get what they want. They get some romantic subplot. There's always gonna be roamnce. And it can seem that's like the only thing or the first thing they care about while there's times I'm hoping there isn't a romance brewing between characters (which is why I think I don't mind pre existing romantic couples bc I don't have to have that fear they're together they already are and I don't have to watch them fall in love) it feels like they get everything they want because romance is everything to them.

"And you're not wasting time stuck here like me" I can't help but complain. It's like I'm stuck hating fictional romance and fictional couples. I'm stuck and it's like, why can't I just let it go? Not to mention aroaces get little to no rep so while allos get "everything they wanted" I'm stuck with my head canons and hating fictional romance and feeling alienated in fandoms, "wasting my time" trying to explain the value of accepting certain things as platonic bc they will always say "it's just a ship" and I know it is but I'm stuck "wasting time" arguing why it's important to acknowledge platonic love when no one is gonna really listen or change.

And when there are aroace characters people will still ship them. Or when platonic love gets over looked or romantized, no one cares. "It's just a ship" "they're fictional so it doesn't matter" "it doesn't change the canon" "aroaces can still date" "it's a non issue" and that to me relates to the lyric "you're just thinking it's a small thing that happened"

It's just a small thing that happens. They don't care when aroaces get shipped. They don't care when platonic love gets romanticized. It's just a small thing that happens. But to me, it's not just a small thing. "The world ended when it happened to me"  to me it is an issue, not one I'm expecting people to do anything about but it doesn't change the fact that it matters to me. I kinda lost my retrain of thought which sucks but just know that this part specifically hits hard.

Bc like aroaces don't get a lot of rep. So to them it's just a small thing that happened. But when Aroace happens, my world doesn't end but it means the world. But when aroace erasure happens it can really be fusterating.

And like, for whatever reason my thought process on stuff like this is kinda extreme. Like if every fan/people in general have the mindset of "more than friends" then my brain is like "most people have thos mindset" meaning the writers of the show also have this mindset and think it's just a normal mindset so they probably wrote the characters with that mindset not necessarily intentionally but just like bc people think everyone inherently thinks "roamnce is more than friends" so then my heart breaks for the characters without a romantic partner not bc I think they're sad they are single or im sad their single but bc I'm sad they're friends don't love them as much.

Like Reggie from Jatp. (Someone needs to take this show away from me. I haven't even watched it in full in 2 years) I also head canon him as aro and I have a huge attachment to him, more than any other character besides my own but even then that's not even really comparable bc I wrote my characters but even still I like love him so much.

But yea, bc of this mindset I'm like "omg so he loves
his friends so much (bc even if he's not aro it's canon his friends are his family. "You guys are the only family I have" like aro or not he loves his friends with his full heart and soul and even more than that) but his friends love their romantic parents more which isn't very fair bc like what do you mean they'd chose them over him that would break his heart"

and that's why I can't watch the show anymore. When I fist saw it i didn't really think about stuff like this but then I found out I was aromantic and all of the sudden my heart hurts bc even though I saw it as so platonic now that I know everyone thinks roamnce is more, I know the writers also probably think like that so "Luke loves Julie more" and "Alex loves Willie more" and fans say "Reggie has no one" but he has his friends but I'm scared now that his friends would choose Willie and Julie over him.

I'm not sad he doesn't have a romantic partner im sad people think he's not loved deeply and I fear his friends don't love him infinitely like I thought but I know he probably loves them infinitely and I know it's all stupid and it's just fiction I know I feel way too strongly about this show. I'm trying to get through it so I can watch it peacefully again but I don't think that will ever happen.

Bro how did I go from talking about a song to Jatp 😭😭💔

Anyways. I do have more to say about the song lol.

In a real world perspective "you're just thinking it's a small thing that happened the world ended when it happened to me"  I'm afraid of getting left behind by my friends when they get romantic relationships. Or my one friend anyways. I really only have one close one. I have trouble connecting with people I think. But people say "it's just what happens" friends get busy, they start families, and you see each other less. "It's just what happens" but to me, it is like the world is ending. Bc I won't have a romantic relationship bc I don't want one. And you know maybe I'll meet another aro or aroace or someone and I'll have a queer platonic relationship or platonic marriage with them. But it's just so sad to me not only for me but just in general that friends stop seeing each other when they get married and start having kids. "It's just what happens, they're starting their own lives" but what about best friends forever? I thought we'd always be in each others lives.

Idk.

But that's all I have to say thank you so much for listening. I hope you all have a wonderful day/night. Take care 💚💜