Ain't It A Fine Life, Carrying The Banner!

"Just Once." (Drabble 23, JackCrutchie)

You could ask any newsboy in New York and get the same answer- Jack Kelly was generally a pretty happy, easygoing guy. Sure, he's been in more fights than most, but most of that is because he hates bullies and sticks up for any kid like they're his baby brother. He's usually smiling, even if it's a crap headline. Or if the boys are being rowdy, he's still happy. Any newsie who knew Jack- and let's face it, everyone knew Jack- would agree.

Except one.

Crutchie knew Jack wasn't always so happy and relaxed. Under that bright crooked smile was a sadness and a pain that seemed to settle in his very bones like a deep-seated ache. Jack was often stressed about making ends meet- but not for himself. Jack didn't even bother taking care of himself. No, he worked hard to make everyone else's ends meet.

And that'd be okay, except Specs needed new glasses, and Crutchie had been laid up after a fall and unable to work, and Romeo had been the poor kid to get sick this winter, and the Jacobs boys had a family to feed, and someone had to feed these other kids, and he knew Medda was scraping by to pay her mortgage, and-

Jack's list ran on until he was in the middle of a full-blown anxiety attack on the rooftop. And since Crutchie had been a little in love with him since they were kids, this hurt him to watch.

Okay... Maybe more than a little in love.

Just once, Crutchie wished Jack would speak up. Make his needs and desires known. Keep the money he made at work for himself. Just once, he wanted Jack to be selfish and prioritize himself.

So naturally, when he found Jack sitting on the edge of the rooftop with his head in his hands, he couldn't just leave him there.

"Jacky," he called softly. "Come away from the edge, Jack, you're scaring me."

"I wasn't gonna jump. I got too many people depending on me to jump," he sighed, moving away from the edge and turning to face Crutchie. "I jus' needed some air." He sounded like he might have been crying, or at the very least choked up.

"Jack... Everybody's gonna pull through. We'll all be okay. You don't have to shoulder the weight of the world all the time."

"I got strong shoulders," was his only reply. "I'm fine."

"Just once, could you stop worrying about all of us and take what you want from life?"

"What I want?"

"Yeah. What is it you want?"

Jack stepped closer, standing directly in front of Crutchie now. His hair was a mess, likely from running frustrated hands through it, and he looked worn out. His eyes, however, kept that tiny sparkle. He was still Jack.

"I can't have what I want, even though it's always been right in front of me. And it's breaking my heart, but I can't have it. I can't have you."

Crutchie felt his heart leap into his throat. Swallowing, he managed a quiet, "Yes you can."

Jack visibly melted as his restraint broke and he pulled Crutchie close. Jack kissed him shamelessly, wrapping his arms around Crutchie's waist to keep the other boy upright.

Crutchie was more than happy to indulge him. After all, if this was Jack's way of taking back some of what he gave, that was good. He'd indulge him just once.

Or maybe more.

Much, much more.