You Don't Know What You Have Until You (Almost) Lose It

The Light Of My Life

*Dan's POV*

AmazingPhil uploaded a video my YouTube notification reads. Faster than the speed of light, my mood improves by 1000%. I click on the video entitled INTERACTIVE SPACE ADVENTURE - START HERE! as quickly as my hand would let me. I click on one of the annotations and go on a, wait for it, INTERACTIVE SPACE ADVENTURE. Phil, AmazingPhil, Philip Michael Lester, by far is my favorite YouTuber. And, by some miracle constructed by God himself, we're technically friends, though I've never seen him in person. We've been friends for awhile now. Then again, friends are supposed to be equal, right? But you see, Phil is so much. . . better? Less worthless? More relevant? By no means does he belittle me. Phil is the most delightful person on the planet. But I can't shake the feeling that he's bigger than me. (In a metaphorical sense because we're actually pretty much the same height.) Either way, Phil seems to be my only reason to smile nowadays. School sucks, what with being labeled a fag or a gaylord by brainless jocks. Home isn't much better. My parents are almost always nagging me about literally anything and everything. Sure, if I'm supposed to go to law school, I should get my homework done, but I've already been accepted. That's not something to be proud of, I guess. But also, your parents are supposed to be able to tell when you're sad, angry, etc. They're the ones who are supposed to care the most. It sure as hell doesn't seem that way. But Phil. . . Phil finds a way to make that all go away, even if he is hundreds of miles away from me. I basically live for our weekly Skype calls. They're the highlight of my week, every week. And, when he isn't too busy being a uni student and schedules a spontaneous Skype time, I get so excited that I can't slow my heart down and my hands shake so bad that I repeatedly type my password in wrong. I just wish all the hours of all my days could be spent talking to Phil, watching his videos, getting to know him. Maybe this is what it's like to have a best friend. Maybe this is what it's like to feel wanted. To feel loved.

"Dan!" Phil yells into my ear, snapping me out of my flashback. Eighteen-year-old me would be completely shocked. Hell, I'm shocked. How many people can say they are flatmates with their idol? Well, little did eighteen-year-old me know, I would eventually build up to be Phil Trash #1.

"What?" I say, dazed. "Did I black out again?"

"Um, yeah. Are you okay?" Phil asks me.

Haha, yeah I was just thinking about that time I had a crush on you. No biggie lolzor.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just having a mini existential crisis. The usual. Glad you snapped me out of it before it turned into a full-blown day of laying face-down on the floor," I lie with a sarcastic smile on my face.

"Okay. . ." He says, obviously not convinced. Acting would've been a really shitty career path for me. "Let's get started then" Phil turns on the computer, and the lights, camera, and microphone are already set up. He clicks on the file for Slender: The Eight Pages because, due to popular demand, we are making a second part to the video.

"Ready?" Phil asks and looks at me. I avoid his eyes and clear my throat.

"Yep." I smile at the camera as Phil counts down from three.

"Hello, Dan and Phil Games Faceless Creatures!" Phil says enthusiastically.

I laugh, any tension between us vanishing. Still, he makes me laugh during his stupid fucking YouTube videos. Even when I'm making them with him.

"Phil, are you ever going to get tired of thinking of these every time?"

"Never! It's the proper way to start the video!"

"Jesus Christ, okay. Anyway, today we bring you a second installment of. . . Slender," I say melodramatically.

Phil fakes a small scream and says, "I'm still having nightmares from the last time we played."

I throw out a few sarcastic remarks and mention something about immersion as I turn off the lights. I try not to shit my pants from the jumpscares and Phil just acts like his adorable self, and soon enough, the video is over because we inevitably die, due to the fact that we both suck at the game.

"Well. . . that's it. If you sadists enjoyed this, you can subscribe to Dan and Phil Games by clicking here," I say motioning to midair.

"Yes, and if you'd like to see more from us, you can click on either of our faces to be magically transported to our main channels. Go! Click now!"

"I'm just going to lay in my room, terrified of going to sleep now. Bye, guys!"

"Peace out!" Phil says.

"Phil, you don't say that."

"Why not?!"

"Just. . . okay, bye."

Phil laughs as he turns off the camera and shuts off the computer.

"Edit tomorrow?" he asks me.

"Yeah, definitely," I say. I stand and take one more look at Phil before turning and heading out of the room.

"Night, Dan!" Phil says. I can basically hear the smile on his face, which makes me idiotically smile at the dark, empty hall way in front of me.

"Goodnight, Phil," I mumble, heading further down the hall and into my room. I look at my black and white bedspread, which really complimented my white walls and black furniture. Climbing into my sheets alone, I couldn't help but think about how Phil would make my virtually colorless room so much brighter.

A/N: Hello! I'd just like to point out, this is not just my story. A good friend of mine had the idea and asked me to collaborate with her on it so I did. She's philtrashnumber1 so go follow her and shit. Also, the fact that I'm working on this story does not mean I won't be updating my Dan x Reader fic. And if you haven't read my Dan x Reader fic. . . you should. Bye, and thanks for reading! ^.^