Saving Winston

Chapter Eight

I didn't want to see my mother ever again. How could she ever say that to me? Aren't parents supposed to love their children unconditionally? Was she just pretending because she has to? Questions rumbled through my mind throughout the whole day, stabbing and tearing my saneness apart.

Dally met me at the hospital to take me home. He grabbed me with one arm around my should and pulled me in for a hug, using his other arm to grab my head and kiss my forehead like he always does. I admit, I have some feelings for him, but I also do for Ponyboy. I just keep pushing them away, hoping they could disappear like evanescent fog. I can try and be satisfied with Pony. The thing is, I'm really not. Emotions are annoying.

Once I got home, I started to clean up the house and tried to avoid Drew's room. I couldn't stand to peak in, or even look in the direction. My room is right next to his so instead of probably bursting into tears to go into mine, I decided to go to bed on the couch, the furthest thing in the house away from his room. Right away, I was quietly snoring from the amount of sleep I lost night before.

As I was falling into a deep sleep, I was also falling into a deep hole full of the things I'm most scared and depressed about. I looked around and everything looked the same, just something was off, I could just tell. The sky was a light blue with no clouds. It was too perfect. I turned back to where I was originally facing, The Dingo.

"Huh," I thought. "Why am I here?"

I tried to take a step forward, remembering my brother works inside, but my feet wouldn't move. I was stuck in the middle of the road. A really fancy car, I think a Corvette, was coming fast down the road, wheels squealing and leaving marks. The car was coming right at me. As it got closer, I realized my brother walked out of The Dingo. I called over to him to help me but he couldn't hear me. Now to think about it, no one acknowledged that I was standing in the middle of the road. The car was gaining road and I finally accepted I was going to watch myself die. I thought in nightmares you always wake up before you die. Maybe it's different for me. The car was just a couple feet away when the driver seemed to have noticed me. Could he see that I was standing here? Am I still dreaming? The driver definitely saw me because soon turned the wheel, causing the car to drive right towards The Dingo.

"Three people were killed and many were injured." It played over and over inside of my head.

I screamed and yelled to try and get anyone's attention, but no one heard me. I watched as the car smashed into the building, sending it into flames. It was like one of those movies when something explodes. I went flying backwards, almost like it was in slow motion. My brother was no where to be seen. Did the car hit him? Was he covered in flames? I panicked as I searched for him, now being able to finally move.

I ran for the building but it collapsed before I could go in. I started to bawl, not wanting anything more in the world than my brother right now. I heard a faint cry a few seconds later and sprinted to the other side of the collapsed building. I looked everywhere, but saw no one. I heard the cry again. It was coming under the pile of bricks.

"Help! Someone please!" It was Drew. He must've gone back in before the car crashed.
"Drew! It's Claudia!" I screamed.
"Clauds? I'm so happy to hear your voice. I love you Claudia, don't forget that." He stopped for a second to swallow. "Tell mom I love her too-"
"Stop talking like that!" I cut Drew off. "You're going to get out. I promise."
"Clauds-" Flames erupted from the collapsed building and that's when I knew my brother was gone. Nothing could save him now.

One of the cruelest things your mind could do. Making me think I was the reason my brother died, keeping me from moving when I knew I could've helped, then having me able to move freely, but finding my brother dying. I must blame myself for letting this happen to my brother. I couldn't find someone to blame it on, so I just blamed it on me.

I woke up sweating and looked at the clock. 8:46. I heard a knock on the door and got off the couch to go answer it.

"Hey, Clauds. I've been thinking for the past few days, and I know how much you don't want to live in this house," Darry pulls out a certificate. "So how would you like to come live with me, Pony and Soda?"

A huge smile spread across my face.

"I'd love to Darry. Thank you so much, you don't know how much pain you are sparing me from."
"Anything for you." Darry smiled.

I spent the rest of the day packing up my stuff. The house was still going to be my mom's and mine, just no one is going to be living in it for a while. Ms. Cass called the other day and updated me about my mom. She is slowly improving and she will most likely be out within a year, just she lately is having trouble remembering who I am. But she does remember Drew, sometimes forgetting he's dead. I couldn't imagine being in that state, forgetting about his death and being told that he's gone every time I forgot.

Once I got over to the Curtis house, I found Dally wandering around my new room.

"So this is where you are going to live now, huh?" He asked.
"Yup." I said, popping the "p".
"How are you doing with - you know - everything going on?"

Dally and I have been distant these past few days. I tried to talk to him every now and then, but he would always push me away.

"I've had better days." I replied.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry." Dally said out of no where.
"What for?"
"For pushing you to like me. Everything I did, I was just trying to get you to feel something for me. But you and Pony are together and you like him. I love you, Clauds, and I'm really sorry. I love you so much, I don't care who you like. I want you to be happy. I want what's best for you and I support whatever choice you make."

I suddenly ran over to Dally and kissed him on the lips. I could feel all of my stress go away. I think I'm falling in love, but with the person I least expected.