Stay Away

Chapter 11

I'm horrible I know. No updates in 4 months... >.< no excuses, other than summer happened. But that's still a crappy one XD

Okay okay I get it. You: "Shut up and lemme read the story already."

Me: Sorry. Without further ado...

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Chapter 11

Adrian

A light breeze sifted through the treetops. Bright, hot, and constant, the sun beamed on my face. Nothing out of the ordinary, not really. Actually, life was... too ordinary. Stagnant almost. I didn't quite know what I was doing out in the woods, right then, at 3 pm on a Sunday afternoon. Damian and the other guys were at the pool, no doubt surrounded by a substantial amount of ogling fangirls. I was invited, but I possessed absolutely no interest in being the center of attention that day, being required to "look cool," "be friendly," and listen to high-pitched female chattering. I told them I wanted to relax instead.

And here I was, "relaxing." All alone in the middle of nowhere. Trying to not think about anything. About her. About that guy. About how happy she looked with him, how carefree, how innocent. About how stunning her smile was, a wide and full-blown grin, filled with an emotion that no one had ever seen before. I had never seen her before. This beautiful, smiling, laughing girl named Victoria. No, I don't think we'd ever met. But my body ached with a burning need to know her, and there was nothing I can do to stop the hurting.

But then again, it was partially my fault. I was the one to push Victoria away. When she was with me, she was cold and I was distant. I hurt her feelings a lot, I know, but that was because she'd never been anything but rude to everyone around her. Seeing that - that guy - embracing her in such a blissful manner and seeing her face light up in a smile, made me wonder, then, what would have happened if I hadn't pushed her away? Could I have been the one to make Victoria smile for the first time? That indescribable smile...

And there was something else, too. Even deeper than the ache to know her better was a madness that swirled inside of me. It grew bigger and bigger every minute, every second that I spent thinking about her. It grew until my veins were on fire and my mind was clouded and I didn't know what I was supposed to think anymore. It was a feeling I'd never felt in my life, because I'd never need to. I wanted to deny it. I was ashamed that it was even there.

Jealousy.

Who even was that guy? Her boyfriend? The sight of his arms on her, around her, hugging her, cut like the devil's sword. I was mad, I was envious, I was hurt more than I ever was. Though my breakup with Lani tore at my emotions and broke my heartstrings, this, this, was getting to my head, pushing me one step closer to an asylum. Victoria was like a poison, a dark force that pervaded my every fiber, mentally, physically, emotionally. If I didn't do something about it soon, I would lose my mind.

Oh god, what has she done to me?

Victoria

"Ahaha-ah-ahh-AHAHAAAH STOP IT OSSIE YOU KNOW I HATE BEING TICKLED," I shriek at my best friend. His slender fingers that I used to admire when he gracefully played the piano were now my worst enemy as they wiggled menacingly across my neck and stomach.

"I know, that's why I'm doing it," he grinned devilishly.

I frowned and finally wrestled out of his reach, standing up from the large rock slab where we were laying on. Hand cocked on my hip, I stared pointedly down at him, and he stared back with those puppy-dog eyes he'd spent years perfecting. Finally his mouth twitched into a smile and he laughed.

"Alright fine I won't tickle you, just sit back down."

Content that he wouldn't tackle me again, I settled back on the rock. We sat with our legs curled to our chests, backs against each other. I could feel the warmth of his body through the thin cotton of my t-shirt. With the sun of the dying afternoon glowing all around us, and a cool breeze riffling through the trees, I felt more at ease than I did on any other day I could remember since the incident. I closed my eyes and leaned into Ossie. The trickling sound of the stream beside us filled my ears like music. Music...

I couldn't remember the last time I had listened to music. Music used to be something I loved, something I found solace in. I associated music with emotions. There was happiness, which I felt whenever I listened to Ossie play the piano. Or when I had jam sessions with my cousin Alice. There was sadness, the ballads I listened to when Ossie and I broke up, when he had found his mate. Music forced me to feel, to embrace my feelings, to acknowledge them and soak away into the deeper parts of myself. But after the incident, I hated my emotions.

I hated feeling broken. I hated feeling how I still felt sorry for myself, even when I was still alive and my friends were all dead. I shut the human part of me into a tight little ball, a densely packed bomb of raw emotion. I locked the ball up and hid it so deep that I wasn't sure if I could ever find it again. But here I was. Listening to water like music. Joking around with Ossie. Bathing in a beautiful sunlight that just last week I found scorching. Feeling... not fully happy, exactly, but content. And at peace. And for once the demons that used to swim behind my eyes day and night, threatening to pull me into the darkness, had faded so that I could at least see the light again. And I was feeling something again.

***

Ossie walked me back to the camp, and then bid me goodbye. He said he was camping out right outside my pack's land boundary, so as to not rouse suspicion about his identity, and to not encroach on private territory.

He had asked me, while we were still in the woods, if I wanted to know what happened after I left. I surprised myself by telling him no. Not yet. I wasn't sure if I was ready. I knew it seemed to everyone else that I was tough. But they only saw a small part of me. The rest was packed into that bomb of emotion I'd thrown away somewhere. And if I didn't ease the fuse a little, if I accessed it the wrong way, it would do what bombs are made to do. Explode.

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Next chapter is longer, I promise ;)

Luvs, Liv