Sticky Notes And Trinkets (Rusame)

Panic Attacks and Final Gifts

America was hyperventilating. He'd been caught. There was no way this would end well. No way. He was screwed. He shouldn't have done this, shouldn't have started leaving gifts-

He couldn't breathe. He felt like he was swallowing sand when he took in air. He couldn't feel comfortable, he just curled in on himself, hoping he could protect himself from the likely coming pain.

Only, that didn't come. Instead, he heard Russia settle on the ground beside him. Then he heard Russia speak.

"What are five things you can see?"

America couldn't bring himself to breathe properly, it still felt like he was swallowing sand and sand paper, but he tried to answer. "M-My hands, the... The dirt... My shoes, the grass, and... And some flowers"

"Alright, four things you can touch" Russia continued.

"The.... The sleeves of my sweater... The dusty ground... The stone of the fountain... And the grass" he responded, touching each thing as he said it.

Breathing felt a little easier, but his throat felt like sandpaper. He felt like he was trying to breathe underwater.

"Three things you can hear"Russia prompted again.

"You... The birds... And some cars" America muttered.

"Two things you can smell?"

"Gasoline... And...." America paused, smelling the lingering scent of coffee, he couldn't tell if it was from himself or Russia. "Coffee"

"Now, what's one thing you can taste" Russia asked softly.

America paused, noticing the coppery taste in his mouth. He'd bitten his tongue pretty hard. "Blood... I think... I think I bit my tongue"

"Alright, now breathe with me a bit" Russia said, gently taking his hand and starting taking deep, definitely exaggerated, breaths.

America did, slowly feeling himself starting to relax, leaning on Russia slightly.

"There we go," Russia said, lightly moving to start playing with America's hair.

America relaxed into the touch, calming down a bit.

"Well, I was worried that I was going to be rejecting someone today, but I don't think I will be." Russia said, which confused him.

"Wha- what do you mean?" America asked, confused.

"You are who I am interested in" Russia purred, continuing to play with America's hair. "Thought I would be rejecting romantic advances. But you are person I like. So it is not concern"

"O- Oh-" America stuttered, starting to flush. He hadn't meant the gifts in a romantic manner, but... He guessed that his original intentions had muddied, especially after he started to fall for Russia. "It wasn't my original intention... I started out wanting to give you things so you'd hate me less... But my reasoning started changing I guess... "

Russia hummed softly. "Well, my feelings are fairly clear. I love you"

"I.... I feel the same.... I want to be in a relationship." America muttered.

"Why did you run?" Russia asked after a second. "Earlier, I mean, when I saw you"

"I didn't want to be hurt. I don't have.... I don't have good experience with confessions and people learning about my hobbies" America admitted quietly.

"I won't hurt you! Never. If I do tell, so I can stop!" Russia quickly said, hugging America.

America relaxed against Russia, feeling relaxed there, he liked being this close to Russia.

"Could I kiss you?"Russia asked after a long pause, averting his gaze nervously after saying it.

"I.... Yes" America mumbled, looking up at Russia.

He closed his eyes when he felt Russia's hands on his cheeks, and leaned in as Russia kissed him. It was a little awkward at first, but a little adjustment on both of their ends, and it was a lot nicer. The second kiss felt even better.

America really enjoyed it, but pulled away after a second, curling up into Russia's chest.

"It is probably good time to go back. You need to get your bag- and then go home." Russia stated, getting up and holding America. He carried America back towards the school, going back in and heading towards his locker. He put America down and watched as he got the bag, going back to looking though it.

America handed him something after a bit of searching, it was another plush, this one a cat made with red faux fur and two buttons seen in for eyes.

Russia smiled and hugged the plush before hugging America.

"Would you like to stay at my house tonight?" America asked after a second, quite nervous.

"Of course! If it is okay!" Russia responded excitedly.

"I-I'm sure it'll be alright.... My little brother has more people over more frequently... I'm sure it's alright."

Russia nodded, watching as America texted someone. He was then lead out of the school by America and to a car.

They were in the car for a while, then America headed back to his room, sure Russia was right behind him.

He settled into his room, disappointed that Russia hadn't been right behind him, but busied himself with drawing, hoping Russia would join him soon.

He heard footsteps approaching his room and looked up and in the direction of where they were coming from, finding a very pale looking Russia, who he promptly ran over to and started checking over him.

Russia just hugged America and nuzzled his face into America's hair.

America sighed and smiled, lightly hugging Russia and relaxing.

Eventually, the two of them were laying on America's bed, when Russia noticed something.

"What is in there?" Russia asked, gesturing to the slightly ajar drawer of America's side table.

"Oh... Someone has been leaving me little sticky notes, they uhm... They help me feel better about myself... I want to know who's leaving them, I want to thank them, but I also want to let them down gently" America explained, looking up at Russia.

"Oh- OH that's me, I leave them to make day better. You are beautiful, and I hear shit talk of you, and do not want that to be perception of self" Russia quickly said.

"May I kiss you?" America asked quietly.

Russia nodded quickly, leaning in slightly.

America didn't hesitate, kissing Russia, pulling away after a second.

"Thank you, those help more than you know" America said softly.

"You are too sweet" Russia responded, hugging America close. "I stand by all of it, you know?"

"You're very cheesy then" America giggled.

"But you love me anyway!"

"I suppose you're right, I do" America giggled, a small smile on his face.

Russia leaned closer, putting a hand on America's cheek, leaning in a bit before hestating.

"Kiss?" Russia asked, not sure if it was okay to do so.

"Sure" America agreed, leaning in a bit.

The kiss was a bit slow and awkward, but the two of them enjoyed it regardless.

Russia hugged America, who ended up slowly leading the two of them to get onto his small bed. They were cuddling for a bit before America opted to speak, albeit quietly.

"Why were you so far behind me?" He asked, looking up at Russia.

"Because your father gave me shovel talk, wanted to make sure I do not hurt you" Russia mumbled, moving to bury his face in America's hair.

It was silent for a while before America spoke again. The silence was comfortable though.

"I... I love you" America said quietly.

"I love you too!" Russia responded happily.