Let Me Open Your Eyes

Chapter 7- Tree of Secrets

{"You look at me and cry everything hurts

                                    I hold you and whisper everything can heal"}

When I saw my mother the next morning, she was leaving to go to work at the bookshop she helped out at part-time. She told herself it was because she was good at organisation but I knew it was to keep herself busy. I heard the phone ringing for hours last night, when I went to pick it up and pass it to her, she shook her head and told me that it was just some company trying to sell her something. But we both knew who it really was.

"Morning sweetheart, I'm sorry I have to leave you here all by yourself on a Saturday" she stroked my hair and I shrugged awkwardly, trying to tell her that I didn't mind being alone. But that was what scared me the most.

She soon kissed my hairline four times before she left for work, sighing heavily as if she didn't know why she tried with me. I don't blame her.

When I was a little girl, I had an imaginary friend. Her name was Ellie and she was the strong and fierce version of me who stood up for us and who never let anyone stand in our way. She saved me from being the pathetic weak girl who couldn't even tell everyone else to stop bullying her. The bullies stopped making me sad and they left me alone to play with Ellie.

But when I grew up, she left. She left me behind and never came back leaving a massive hole in my life. That hole then became the opportunity for something else to come back, something much more evil and twisted now that they were older.

My mum knew that I didn't like school, but she never knew why. A goofy smile and kiss on the cheek every day while handing her my pack lunch after I came home from school was all that I needed to convince her that everything was fine. But we both knew that it was all just pretend.

A knock on the door disrupted me of my thoughts and it soon revealed a sheepish looking Aspen behind it.

"Hey sunshine, I noticed you were home alone as I was uh, in the neighbourhood. I wanted to show you something" he grinned and it was such a happy smile that it made my chest lift up as though it was trying to take flight.

"I don't know" I sighed and shuffled my feet around my welcome mat. "I'm busy."

"Doing what?" he challenged and when I didn't have an answer, he smirked. "Come on, sunshine. Live a little."

I opened my mouth to protest but it ended up as a gasp when he leaned closer and whispered softly in my ear, "What's the worst that could happen?"

I agreed reluctantly so that he would give me some personal space.

...

Aspen finally stopped our long walk in the middle of a local wood a good half an hour walk from my house, at a haggard old tree that had lost all of its leaves.

"A dead tree" I noted. "Great trip idea, Aspen. What's next? A field of dead flowers?"

He chuckled, grabbing my hand and pulling me closer towards the tree. As we got closer, I followed his gaze to the floor and noticed there were hundreds of leaves scattered around the floor. Half of them rotten and unrecognisable. But the ones that were still rather fresh, they had something on them. Words.

"What is this?" I frowned, my curiosity sparking.

He grinned and held his arms out, as if he were a magician presenting his final trick. "The tree of secrets. Planted in 1955, by Mr Ted Jordan, local farmer and founder of this wood. He wrote down all of his secrets on the leaves of the tree and stapled the leaves to branches or the roots of the tree so that they wouldn't fly away in a storm, encouraging others to do the same. For years everyone in this town would come and visit the tree to share their secrets with the tree and to each other, anonymously of course. He convinced them that it was okay to share secrets and open up."

"Wow."

"No one really comes here anymore and most of the leaves rot away after a few weeks but I wanted to bring you here anyway" he smiled softly and looked at me from under his eye lashes so that his eyes looked so blue that I had to look away.

"To convince me that it is okay to open up" I guessed and glanced back at him with a raised eyebrow.

He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "Poor attempt?"

"Pitiful" I grinned and chuckled under my breath softly. "But almost cute."

Once I had registered the words that had come out of my mouth, my eyes widened and I coughed awkwardly. Aspen laughed and simply walked forward, picking up one of the leaves to read it carefully.

"I cheated on my husband" he read aloud. "Ouch."

"Good start" I giggled.

"Okay, okay" he laughed, throwing that one onto the pile and picking up another one. "How about this one?"

"What?"

"I love someone who I will never be able to have."

"Not very optimistic" I shrugged. "Kind of sad."

He glanced at me quickly. "I suppose so."

I didn't like the way he was looking at me and so I bent down myself and picked one up, going cold once I read the secret.

"Hey, what does that one say?" Aspen questioned, glancing back at me once more.

"I have convinced everyone I am fine for years when really I am anything but fine."

He whistled under his breath.

"I've had enough of this" I breathed, throwing the leaf back on the dead pile. "This was um, interesting. I'll see you later."

As I started to walk away, Aspen grabbed my arm.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I'm done. If this is your sick idea of trying to make me tell you a secret or write one on the leaves, then it hasn't worked. If I am going to hang out with someone, I want it to be because they want to spent time with me. Not so that they can fix me or slither their way in to learn all my secrets. Sometimes secrets are better to be kept to yourself" I told him coldly.

"I don't believe that" he shook his head.

"That's your choice" I sniffed. "But it doesn't mean that I don't believe it. Stop trying to change me."

"I'm not trying to change you, Paisley. I am trying to show you the good things in life" he insisted, those blue eyes flashing with intense emotion.

"Good things don't ever last" I stated. "That's just how it is and nothing you can say or do will make me feel otherwise."

And with that, I turned around and marched the whole way home ignoring his persistent calls. After a while, he gave up and stopped calling after me.

I don't blame him.