Almost-Disaster

[4]

This was it. I would tell Trance to look past everything that happened in the elevator. This was the right thing to do. I decided to meet him in the lobby where I would explain things to him sensibly. However I didn't even need to get into the elevator again because he was standing in the hallway outside my room. My chest immediately tightened at the sight of him and I was undeniably blushing. His face looked flustered too. I braced myself and walked over to where he stood. I couldn't not notice the way he perked up on seeing me and that was enough to make my heart drop. I led him to the balcony, away from eavesdroppers.
Before he could say anything I began.
"Listen Trance, about what happened- I get that it was all in the moment. We lost control and-and I understand that wasn't intended to mean anything-

"Jean, go out with me." He closed the distance I kept between us, his face was now just inches away apart from mine.

That shut me up. Was I hearing things?

"What happened in there was not nothing. Let's give this a chance, Jean. We'll work on this." He sounded so hopeful and for a moment I almost felt the same. But how could he even ask that? Is he saying this on a whim and is he even aware about what he would bring with him into a relationship like this?

"Do you have any idea what you're saying, Trance?!" My voice was now two notches up. "You're young, you're vulnerable to acting rash. And that's okay. But not this. Think this over. Trust me, you'll be glad this never worked out."

"But that wasn't nothing for you too." He said looking straight at me. Could I have been that obvious in the elevator? "Tell me what you feel and not what you think, Jean." He was now gently grabbing my arms.

"Of course, it was nothing," was what I wanted to shoot him with but I couldn't bring myself to tell him that. His hopeful eyes and all those he said straight up had put my guard down.

"Don't. Trance," I finally said, my voice shaky and tears were welling up. He let go and took a step back. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt him like this but this was for the best. "I'm sorry about what happened. I deeply regret it." I broke our gaze because I knew the damage was done.

He nodded a few times too many, not saying a word.

"I'm sorry you regret it," he finally said, smiling- pained and forced.

"Trance, I'm sure we can put this behind us," I managed a smile for him.

"If that's what you wish." His voice was suddenly so stern and cold.

This time we went in for only a hand shake. I wished him luck on his movie, he wished me safe flight home. All meaningless pleasantries now. And then I was back in my room, packing. I didn't know what I was putting in my suitcase. It was the longest I ever took to pack. All I could think of was the hurt in his face and I couldn't push away the bantering ache in my heart. But I wasn't ready to let anybody in my life no matter how I felt about him. I was only just getting on after a terrible heartbreak. Wes my baby was healing me though he had no idea. I couldn't tell Trance all that. This was all just for the best for the both of our lives.
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Happy Birthday, J-Low!! Lots of souvenirs on the way.
-all the love from the Bahamas, mum and dad

30!! Welcome to the squad. You're officially old!! :P love you! See you tonight!
- Nora Dora

You'll forever be that 12-year old magical ballerina girl in our hearts. Lots of love to the Birthday woman and the lucky son!
- Uncle Travis and Aunt Shell ××

30 shots for the birthday girl! Hah :D love you! ♥♥
- Mollie from the Big Apple

Texts messages and calls wishing me on my day had been flowing in since a minute past midnight. Having my son with me on my birthday felt like the best gift I could ever get every year. That and a free day at the spa.

"Happy birthday mommy," a still sleepy Wes climbed up my bed and showered me with sloppy kisses and hugs. We snuggled in my covers and watched the morning reruns of Adventure Time until late morning. I had taken the entire week off from work after coming back home.

Later I made banana pancakes and bacon for breakfast, just the way Wes liked it. The rest of the day went as usual, a day well spent with the lil troublemaker of mine. Nora, my best friend at work had a girls night out planned for me tonight with some more mutual friends. There was no getting out of that so as much as I hated it, I had to leave Wes with the nanny for the night.

When Wes was taking his afternoon nap, I took that chance to open my laptop and binge-watch Gilmore Girls like old times. Before that I was casually scrolling down the day's news and a picture of Trance immediately caught my eye. In a way, I was always searching for him in crowds, as hopeless as that was. In some more pictures he had his arms around a scantily clad girl and the headlines said about him being caught partying hard. I tried not to let it get to me, although it felt like I was punched in my stomach. I told myself this was only expected. Young celebrity men like Trance were having the time of their lives. The news also talked about his excellent show at London and also about his upcoming debut in an unnamed movie. Before I could stop myself, I was clicking for more news on him and they only pulled more punches to my stomach because all that the media portrayed about him were his partying and getting pictured with other girls, all young and hot and beautiful.

I had undoubtedly been the world's biggest idiot for hoping that Trance would somehow show up at my door one morning and make me change my mind. Everything had been a game for him to pass his time all along. Apparently he got bored and has replaced me.

A persistent phone ring pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked at the screen and the caller ID belonged to the last person I wanted to talk to. Reign, Wes' dad, my ex-boyfriend.

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