Almost-Disaster

[7]

Streamers and balloons concealed the heart monitor and other equipments well. The banner stretched across the room from the ceiling. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WES!! it read in bright rainbow colours.

"Wait till Wes sees what's under my bed," I told Nora and the girls, giggling like a small girl. I was excited to be sitting up on bed and curating the decoration with whatever strength I could.

I was months into my treatment and after two surgeries since the first one, the final surgery was going to be a week later. I was scared as I ever was the first time but I have also acquired this profound courage I never knew I had in me. A cancer trust fund for single moms with cancer was making my treatment happen.

And today was Wes' birthday and for a boy turning 3 he was amazingly smart and wise beyond his years. My fears about him subsided when I saw how well he took my sickness and he was being so brave about it so how could I not be brave too. He told me he wanted to spend his birthday only after I recovered from the upcoming surgery, with me. But I wasn't having any of it. I got together with the girls and my parents a small surprise party for Wes when he would visit me with Reign later today.

I looked at the time and it was almost 1 pm. Quickly I let Nora dab a little make-up on my pale, emaciated face, I had to look good for the camera after all. After a few finishing touches to the decoration I settled myself comfortably in bed. Anytime Wes was coming through that door and I just hoped he wouldn't get mad I didn't listen to him.

Finally someone did come through the door but to my disappointment it was just the nurse coming to check up on me.

"Quick, Lilly. Shut the door," I whispered.

But she was too slow. In came Wes running breathlessly and his face when his eyes changed direction from me to the streamers and the balloons and the banner was all I had prayed for.

"Happy Birthday Wes!" Everyone greeted in unison.

"No way!" Wes shouted, definitely surprised and excited. Then he ran over to my bed side and climbed up so we could cuddle.

Reign came in shortly, carrying Wes' toy truck in hand. He broke down into a wide grin on seeing the surprise and came over for a hug of three. Everybody had something to give to Wes. Nora brought in the cake and dad pulled out my gift from under my bed— the complete hot-wheels set. The look on Wes' face was just priceless. It was something he always wanted after seeing it on TV.

Wes blew out the candles on his cake and everybody joined in to have a piece of it. Later the girls helped put on tapes of Wes I had captured as a tiny baby and throughout his three years.

Wes kept covering his face every time a funny part came up.

I had forgotten I could be this happy with family and friends and now I couldn't contain the rediscovered happiness.

I didn't want to stop hoping for more moments like this.

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"One day you'll look back on this and you'll be really grateful for what it did to you," was what a member of the cancer support group had said. That riled us up big time, including me. One guy almost punched him for that. Sadly he didn't make it through his stage three cancer and like him, we lost a few members one after the other. I had decided at the start that I wouldn't allow myself to be emotionally invested in the group or in other patients at the hospital. Less casualties that way. But when Paulie, 13 year old, stage 1 thyroid cancer, hopeful recoveree, suddenly died one morning, something big stirred in me. Her parents were at the cafeteria when she soundly passed away alone, she didn't call for help. Up until then I dragged myself to recovery, all closed up, dripping with self pity. But then it hit me, I didn't have my life or my last breathe in my own hands but how I chose to live was the only control I had over.

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Wes was making sloppy sand castles by the shore and I watched him from under the shade with Reign by my side. No, we were not back together. He got himself a girlfriend shortly after my last surgery and I was nothing but happy for him. Also, his spending time with girlfriend meant I got more time with Wes. He felt more of a friend now than he ever did as a boyfriend. The day was beautiful and I was ready to get back to life and make a home for Wes and me again.

The doctor had talked me through the whole procedure. Right from the start of the treatment, I asked them to let me in on everything, the hope and the horror of it. I needed to know what I was getting into, just as I had known I might not be able to have a child when I began chain-smoking in high school or when I got into all those wild nights in college. The final operation did mark an end to my treatment excluding follow-ups but it did not guarantee a complete recovery. I was still struggling to regain fit health and put in a little meat onto my skinny body. The cancer could still show up anywhere but I really couldn't give a fuck anymore to the fears that came with it. I was ready to fight it again if it ever came up because I was seizing each and every day of my life now.

Annd Wes and I were moving to Hollywood in a few months! I was determined to find a job there while we stay at my aunt and uncle's place till we can get steady on our feet.

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What could ever go wrong with that? Find out next chapter! Thanks for reading!