What are we? (Frerard)

So long and goodnight

Frank pov

Gerard failed.

Failed a test he gave himself. Watching him act the way he did was unbearable. The last straw was him kissing Bert. I knew at that point he wasn't Gerard. He was so drunk he was willing to kiss the guys who sent people to beat the shit out of me for drug money.

I know he's not thinking straight right now, but that's besides the point. The point that is very obvious now is that Mikey is right. Gerard can't give up the drinking, maybe the drugs though.

I started toward the door when Mikey grabbed my arm. "Please don't. I know this looks bad-" his gaze flickers over to Bert and Gerard who where still shoving their tongues down each other's throats.

I felt tears sting my hot face and I yanked my arm away. "Looks bad? He's kissing the guy who threatened to kill me! I'm sorry Mikey, I'm leaving. I can't-" my voice broke and a tear escaped my eye followed by more. I'm desperately trying to keep myself held together, but I can feel myself failing. I need to leave.

"Gerard needs you. P-please." Mikey begged breathlessly.

My chest heaved as I breathed. I shook my head. "I finally understand what you meant. I'm not going through all that again. I physically can't. I love Gerard but the effort to help him can't be one sided. You were right this whole time and I that hurts."

"No Frank. I'm sorry. I know what I said, but I was just angry and afraid I would lose my brother again. What I said was wrong! You can't leave him. Not now!" He gave me a pleading look as he waited for my reply. My heart ached in this moment as a civil war broke loose trying to decide what I want.

"Goodnight Mikey." I'll never forget his expression, it was as if I had just shot him in the chest. He released my arm in a slow abrupt manner and I wasted no time before reaching for the door again. I left without any further interruptions and I'm pretty sure I lost a part of my heart behind the moment I stepped out the door.

The night-or morning I should say, was cold. The full moon shun through the cloudy night. The stars weren't visible and it left me to focus on the moon and distract me from my emotions. Tears traced down my cheeks and I waited for my pain to turn into anger. It was bound to happen and following that, is me doing something stupid.

I walked eagerly to my special place of ring the way the cold nipped at my arms. I stared at the wilderness around me, taking it all in for the last time. This place was significant to me for two reasons. My mom and Gerard. My mom is gone and Gerard might as well be.

I felt that sudden rush of anger fill me as I started kicking the trees around me. It numbed my ability to care as a flailed around like a psychopath. "Fuck my life." I heard myself sob then leaned back against the tree to catch my ragged breath. I breathed out a sigh and observed that the night was so cold that I could see my breath leave my chapped lips. I rubbed my bare arms as goosebumps formed on them.
I listened to the peaceful sounds of crickets chirping and leaves rustling in the wind as my pulse slowed.

I pulled out my cigarettes with trembling hands and placed one between my lips. I reach into my pocket and grab my lighter and lit the thing I needed so badly right now. A thought enters my mind and I wanted to resist the urge so bad. I lifted my lighter and flicked it on. I stared at the small flame as it flickered. I bit my lip and dropped the lighter and a small fire started in the grass in front of me. I backed up a little and watched it spread. Time passed and destruction spread through the place I once cherished, but now feel nothing for.

It continued to burn as the sky lightens and the moon became less visible as the blue sky appeared.

Most of the trees were aflame and most of the grass was a dry black mess below me. "Sorry mom." I sighed. Though, I felt no guilt. Not year anyways.

I turned around and started walking. I reached the sidewalk and followed it to who knows fucking where.