Dreams of Stars (A Once Upon a Time/Jiminy Cricket fanfic)

Dreams of Stars Part 5

Storybrooke was in an uproar. Everywhere, people were muttering and gossiping about how the schoolteacher, Mary Margaret, had had an affair with somebody else's husband. Bridget didn't know the guy they were talking about, but she did know Mary Margaret, who had taught her in elementary school. It made Bridget angry. Maybe the rumors were true, but she hated the character assassination nonetheless. No one should be this reviled, even if they'd made an awful mistake. Whenever people started gossiping about Mary Margaret around Bridget, she would try to find a way to quietly leave the room or at least stare silently down at her hands.

She didn't speak up, though. Of course, she never spoke up about anything. She was always too nervous, or awkward, or whatever it was that prevented her from doing anything right.

By the time she came to her next therapy session with Dr. Hopper, then, she had thought of a few specific situations where she felt she'd failed, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him. What if he hated Mary Margaret too? Bridget had written down a few situations that didn't have anything to do with speaking up about Mary Margaret, but she hadn't written down anything about her silence in the face of those rumors.

Sister Astrid escorted Bridget to the door of Dr. Hopper's office this time. Bridget liked Sister Astrid, who was a lot like her in some ways but who also had some character traits that Bridget desperately wished she had. Although Bridget greatly admired people who always seemed to know what they were doing, she was a bit intimidated by them because she never felt like she knew what she was doing. But Sister Astrid was different. Bridget could both admire her and feel comfortable around her at the same time, and she even felt that they were good friends.

"Well, have a nice time," Sister Astrid sang with a bright smile. She waved quickly, then tripped away down the hall, humming to herself. Bridget waved to her, then turned toward the door, that irrational anxiety about knocking consuming her again. Holding her breath, she forced herself to tap lightly on the white-painted door with her fist.

For an instant, she felt proud of herself for having succeeded at this small task. Then, when the doorknob turned, she felt a wave of anxiety. Yet when she saw Dr. Hopper, she involuntarily smiled, but probably looked terribly confused, all happy to see him and anxious and brave at the same time.

Why did simply knocking on a door have to be such an ordeal?

"You look cheerful today," Dr. Hopper observed, inviting her to come in and sit on the couch.

Oh, so I look cheerful? Bridget thought. She could tell her confusion was registering on her face, but she guessed maybe Dr. Hopper was ignoring it to make her feel better. "Well, I came with Sister Astrid today," she explained, taking her place on the couch, but not relaxing on it because she rarely did relax, "She's my best friend." Dr. Hopper sat down in his chair, resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together.

"Oh? What's she like?" he invited her to share more.

Bridget recognized this technique because she liked psychology and had read up on it a bit, but she wanted to talk about Sister Astrid anyway. "I just look up to her a lot," she said, "She's, well, she's a bit clumsy and makes a lot of silly mistakes, like me, but she never loses her enthusiasm, and she always says you can do anything you can dream."

"Do you agree with her?"

Bridget looked down at her hands. "I wish I could, but I don't. You can dream and dream something but still never make it."

"You sound like you've had a bad experience with that," Dr. Hopper observed.

"I feel like I do, but I don't think I could name anything specifically," Bridget admitted, "Sorry to be so unhelpful."