Losing Oliver

Chapter 12

Hi everyone, you might have noticed I'm republishing old chapters, I'm doing minor changes, trying to refine everything that I wrote about 3 years ago now. I've taken college creative writing courses and have refined my writing like crazy. I'm hoping I'll be able to rewrite this story and give you higher quality content, as I feel this story isn't going to be very cohesive with the changes in my style.

So many stars are out tonight..." I murmured, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. The black sky was lit up with scattered stars as far as the eye could see. A few shooting stars flew across my line of vision in a quick flicker. This was the first time that I actually stopped and looked at the sky in a long time.

Declan and I laid side-by-side on the grass in his backyard, staring up at the sky. He brought a bottle of alcohol to his lips and took a gulp, before I took it from him and did the same. His black hair was being brushed gently by the wind as he looked over to me. I never really noticed his eyes. They were pretty, light brown like murky muddy water.

"Yeah," He breathed out, his breath smelling of the hard liquor. His mouth was turned downward, but it always seemed to be like that. You don't really see him smile very often.

"Everything is bullshit, complete and utter bullshit..." I sighed, not sad or angry. At this point, it seemed like everything made me worn down to the point where I no longer had any emotion. "Sometimes, I think I've been doomed to live this horrible, sad life."

I sat up and wrapped my arms around my bent legs with the bottle touching my calve. Once again, I pressed the rim to my lips and took a gulp.

"I think you've had enough, Luce," Declan tried to reach for it, but I pulled it back out of his reach.

"Nuh-uh. I need it." I hopped up onto my feet and looked down over him, smirking devilishly. "You're gonna have to get it from me."

"C'mon, just hand it over. It's late, and you need to get home."

"Oh yeah, that's real enticing. I'm sure my dad and sister will be real ecstatic to see me coming home at 3 AM, drunk off my ass." I chuckled sarcastically before walking backward away from him. "Great idea, Einstein."

"Lucy, stop acting like this." He shook his head and got up.

I turned away from him and kept walking. "Who says I'm acting? Maybe this is who I am? Hell, I don't even know who I am, so it very well could be."

I looked back over my shoulder at him as the wind blew my hair through my path of vision. Everything was blurry from my being drunk, but at this point, I didn't real care. He stepped toward me, and I let him. His serious face scoped mine before he took my hand, removing the bottle from it. "That's enough."

"Party pooper." I giggled and tilted my head at him. My drunken state made me trip over my own feet into his arms. "Oops!"

He tried to put me back onto my feet. "I'm sure you can stand on your own two feet."

"Nope," I shook my head quickly and put my head in the crook of his neck. "Your cologne smells so good..."

"Nice to know. Now, stand up." He commanded firmly.

"I really want to kiss you. I mean you for real this time, not stupid Oliver..." I put my hands on his shoulders and kept my face near his. "Just you."

"No, you don't. You're drunk," He said softly before taking my hands off his shoulders.

"Drunk in love!" I shouted before singing Beyonce at the top of my lungs. Beyonce's queen, or at least my drunk self thought so at the moment.

"Yep, definitely drunk. Now be quiet before you wake up the neighbors," he chuckled and helped me toward his house.

~

Bum-Bum... Bum-Bum...

The slow sound of a heartbeat pulled me slowly out of my sleepy daze. The soft sound of breathing was faint but noticeable even in my hungover state. I felt like throwing up but my stomach had nothing to dispose of. Opening my eyes, I took in my surroundings: photos, grey walls, boy clothes scattered across the floor, Declan laying next to me.

Declan...? I looked over and what happened last night came back to me. Wow, I was such a lovely drunk. Why did drunk me always have to release all of my secrets and feelings..?

Declan was very unaware of my embarassment at the moment, as he was still fast asleep. He was closer to me than we've ever been. I was laying up against him with my chin on his shoulder. His light snore made me chuckle, and I could feel his heart beating from his chest.

You shouldn't be so close to him, I warned myself. He's... Declan, and he's nothing like the guy you wanted for yourself.

The guy I wanted... Oliver. Wanted was a key word. Was he really who I still wanted? The pleading, desperate desire I once had for Oliver was gone. It was replaced with something, maybe guilt for not realizing something was seriously wrong with him or anger toward myself because I treated him like a saint.

I looked at Declan, creating even more confusion when I did. Looking at him created a weird feeling in my stomach. The way he looked at the moment was angelic, nearly flawless. I never noticed, but he had the lightest, tiniest flecks of freckles dotted across his nose. It was barely noticeable from afar, yet up close, you could see them very distinctly on his fair skin.

His eyes fluttered open and I quickly rolled to face away from him. I felt his eyes on me, and there was a slight pause before he got up. I heard the door shut, then the shower turned on.

Getting up, I saw the time, 7:37. It was just under an hour until school started, but I didn't feel like going.

I just wanted to go home.

~