I'm Not Exactly Sure

Entry 3: My Toe Hurts

It's August 17th still. 1:15 p.m. So I'm now running on about 2 and a half hours of sleep (I took a 30 minute nap). I swear I am so tired.

I have a story.

So my toe is thrOBBiNG currently.

I had to cut the skin off of it with toenail clippers because I stubbed it a few days ago.

So what happened was it was 8 o'clock in the morning, and I'd woken up at 5 okay, so I was innocently making my way to my bathroom so I could shower, and this mf piece of random toilet paper in the fUCKIN HALLWAY attaches itself to my foot. So, naturally, I wanted to get it off. I kicked my foot around a little bit sOFTLY, but it wouldnt leave my foot tf alone, and I'm reaal stubborn, so then I was like "well now I can't fuckin lean down and pick it up because then the damn toilet paper is gonna win." Then I kicked harder and I ended up kicking my American Girl Doll box closet, and I tripped and there was blood everywhere.

My friend Kirstyam:  "mental note for yourself: bend down and pick off the toilet paper megan"

Me:  "iT WAS MOCKING ME"
Me:  "it still wasn't off my foot"
Me:  "It was like 'I'm still on your foot aND YOU STUBBED YOUR TOE HAHA BITCH'"

Kirstyam:  "omfg"
Kirstyam:  "that needs to be a comic strip"

It's nice to know she cares.

Now I want to talk about Lils (also goes by Waterlily).

She's my very beautiful French (but also kind of American) best friend.

Shoutout to her for dealing with me.

I mean, Kirstyam can just ignore me if I'm being annoying because we're on two whole different continents. Lily is stuck with me. Well, right now she's in France, but in like 8 days, she'll be stuck with me. I can bike to her house.

Sorry, Lily, there's no escaping.

Cut away// "I quite enjoy showers really, they're my private karaoke sessions where I pretend I don't suck at singing"

Same, Kirstyam, same.

I honestly don't even know what I'm talking about. I'm sO hungry. It's 3:06 p.m. now. I took like a 30 minute naaap.

I think I'm gonna get food, but I don't know. I'm just really lazy.

Let's talk about music.

So, 5 Seconds of Summer.

They giVE ME A REASON TO LiVe.

I'm not kidding.

I am totally and completely in love with all four of them.

Other than that, I have probably ten thousand favorite bands. I'm not even exaggerating. Okay, maybe a little.

Green Day, All Time Low, Paramore, Fall Out Boy, GO RADIO, Mayday Parade,  Four Year Strong, Tonight Alive (if you can't tell, I kinda like Punk Goes Pop), Boys Like Girls, Avril Lavigne, Selena Gomez (sHUT UP DON'T JUDGE ME), Amely, PANIC! AT THE DISCO, A Day to Remember, Skrillex, Linkin Park, Yellowcard, THREE DAYS GRACE, Breaking Benjamin, The All-American Rejects, and Demi Lovato. FAVORITES.

One of my favorite songs ever is Goodnight Moon.

You should listen to it, fam.

I just really want this over 1,000 words.

So I have like four hundred sixty-three words left.  Great.

Family Guy, though?

WELL I totally ran out of things to write except now it's August 18th at 10:53 p.m. I have practice again tomorrow, except it's only two hours instead of four.

My ankle has a huge blister on the back. And my wrist is killing me. And there's a hole in my hand. And my toe hurts. And I'm just a total freaking mess right now l0l.

I want pizza so bad right now, but I'm way too lazy to get up and get it. Will someone bring me pizza?? Like, right now.

I'm so tired I should really go to sleep.

Say something funny, Megan.

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

HA.

What's black and white and red all over?

A zebra with a sword through its head.

I'M SORRY OMG THAT'S TERRIBLE

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

Because he was hit by a bus.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

Whats green and has wheels?

Grass, I lied about the wheels.

What's green, has four legs, and would hurt if it fell out of a tree and landed on you?

A pool table.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

OKAY, GUYS, THIS IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE JOKE EVER!!!!!!!!

WHAT DO AN EAGLE AND A MOLE HAVE IN COMMON?

...
...
...
...
...

They both live underground...except the eAGLE OMG HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHA

ahahhahahah

I am so weak.

I make myself laugh.

Why did Suzie fall of her swing?

...wait for it.

...waiT FOR IT.

...waaaaait for it.

She had no arms.

Knock, knock.

WHO'S THERE?!

...not suzie

wow that joke fucked me up man

Okay, I'm going to start using punctuation and stuff again.

I swear someday I am going to be so rich and famous that I'll be able to sTEP ON KIM MF KARDASHIAN. I'm not even kidding.

Life goal::: have a sugar daddy that buys me 8 cars.

No, but seriously, I want to be an author. Like, a really successful author. Except thAT's never gonna happen lol.

If I would get off my lazy ass for a second, I could finish writing the 10,072 stories I've started and post an actual story on here. What an idea.

Part of me wants to go into the airforce and be a journalist, but another part of me doesn't plan on getting anywhere near the military ever in a million billion sepTiLLiON years. Septillion is actually a word, guys. Look it up.

YOU KNOW WHAT IRRITATES ME?!?!?! When people don't use the oxford comma. How the hell is it sO hard to add one freaking comma to your sentence?!?! No, you fucking aren't going to the store to buy apples, bananas and grapes. YOU AREN'T TALKING TO BANANAS AND GRAPES. SAY IT RIGHT. APPLES, BANANAS, AND GRAPES. DAMN.

Did you know that a yoctometer is one septillionth of a meter? Do you know how small that is?!?! Pretty damn small.

This is so random omg I'm sorry!!!! I honestly lose all memory of everything I'm writing as soon as I write it. There are probably some really bad typos in this, but whatever yolo. YOLO is my entire life motto, I swear.

I might try to sleep now idk but I'll talk to you l8r.

KISSES:*

lmao someone pls tell me to calm down

a/n: pic of me on the right I think (I don't use computer wattpad, I wouldn't really know). Otherwise you've probably already seen it. I AM SO KIDDING that's Barbara Palvin, but she is me in spirit and also in the cast. Okay now I think I'm actually going.