I'm Not Exactly Sure

Entry 4: Baller vs. Bawler¿

I AM SUCH A GRAMMAR NAZI. I'M SORRY.

Okay, I want to discuss the difference between certain words: their, they're, there.

Their- poSSESSIVE adjective. Belongs to them. Their toy. Their ball. Their rings. Why is this so hard to remember?! I understand typos and things, but when it happens consistently? Why?!

They're- contractioN. If you say it in a linguistically correct manner, it is they are. Literally thEY ARE. WHERE CAN YOU GET THEY ARE FROM THERE OR THEIR? YOU CAN'T! THAT WAS A TRICK QUESTION. They're going to be late. They're incredibly stupid. They're dumb ass motherfuckers.

There- Literally nothing to do with either of the above words, except it looks similar. (There *ha* are going to be quite a fair amount of grammar rants in this). Pronoun. There is a bug on the door. There are many bugs. One is in your hair. There is literally no part of me that wants to help you because you are sUCH a dumbass.

Okay, THERE IS/THERE ARE.

There is- singular. Also, there's. LITERALLY, you use it when the noun that follows the word there (explained above) is singular. Usually, that means it doesn't have an 's' at the end. THIS IS NOT THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN USE THE FUCKING WORD THERE. Like, everybody I know will use it as plural, and it fuCkiNG isn't. You have no idea how much that irks me. There is a beach ball. There's my sister. There's food in the fridge. OMFG NEVER: There's my friends. There's strawberries in the fridge.

There are- plural. Use it when the noun following there is plural. There are so many people here. There are strawberries in the fridge. There are my friends.

I AM SUCH A GRAMMAR NAZI OML.

Ball/bawl.

Ball- noun or verb. To ball. This does NOT mean to ugly cry. Sorry. To ball means something having to do with douche white boys thinking they can play basketball. A ball is also an object--usually spherical--that one can use to play a variety of games.

Bawl- verb. To bawl means to ugly cry. Or viciously cry. Whichever you prefer. I am bawling so freakin' hard. Not to be confused with 'I am balling so freakin' hard', which means that you are probably a fuckboy.

Grammar/Grammer.

Grammer- not a word.

Grammar- one of the most ironically misspelled words EVER. (I think misspell ((mispell)) takes # 1.)

Who/whom

Okay, I'm not gonna spell out definitions for these bc I'm getting lazy af, so look it up if you want. My point that I was gonna make is that there iS a difference between who and whom, and they serve a purpose in your sentences. You can't just choose whichever one you want. All the time, I see people throwing whom into a sentence randomly because they think it makes them look smarter. No, it fuckin doesn't. That isn't even a big word, for god's sake! People do the same thing with fuckin whilst, and I hATE THAT WORD. My actual point is that throwing whom into a sentence randomly because you want to seem 'smarter' does literally the opposite. It makes you look like an uneducated, illiterate fuck. To whom would you like to send the flowers? Who do you want to send the flowers to? See the difference?

THIS WAS NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYBODY, OR TO MAKE ANYBODY FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS! I actually would like anybody who reads this to remember these things, but I am honestly just ranting!!!! Your dialect does not say much about you, and if you speak a certain way, or say things based on where you were raised, then it isn't your fault, and you can ignore me altogether!

To lighten this chapter because I feel like my grammar nazi-ness has ruined it, I'm doing more antijokes.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?

They were my friends.

How do you make a plumber cry?

You kill his family.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick! hA HAHAHAH idk if I put that in the last chapter but I think I did oops

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the homeless man get for christmas?

Nothing.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing?

I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: one to change it, and the other to hold the ladder so the first man won't fall and hurt himself.

THESE JOKES ARE SO BAD, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME.

ON ANOTHER FUNNY NOTE, a bunch of Asian girls who owned a massage place across the street from my house got arrested for running a prostitution business in the building. Ellemayo. Elohel. hA.

It's August 20th at 10:48 p.m., and I swear, I'm about to pass out wth.

Next entry, I'll probably rant about something else:))

Have you ever seen the Family Guy episode where they star on Family Feud?!?!?!

"Name something you sit in."
"A chair."
"My own feces."

"Name a popular fruit."
"Orange."
"Clay Aiken."

"Something in your closet."
"Shoes."
"Scary monsters."

"Favorite holiday?"
"Christmas."
"9/11."

"Something you do on the weekends?"
"Go to church."
"Black guys."

Stewie is my faavorite.

I am soo tired.

I resprained my wrist today at practice, and then I had training. It was excruciatiNG pain.

I don't believe in God, but I do believe in paranormal things, and I think some kind of higher force is punishing me for dying my hair red. I'll explain more later bc I'm really tired, and I have to get up kinda early tomorrow, but ilyy. (Kirstyam is the only one reading this rn lol). GOODNIGHT.