Karkat Vantas' Stri-Do's and Dont's of Highschool: A Davekat Fanfiction

Chapter 4: House of the Smuppet

Dirk leads you inside to the elevator and presses the up button. Once the doors open, the two of you step inside. He hits the button for the sixteenth floor and the doors close, heading up to his floor. When they open once again, he heads down the hall and stops in front of apartment 413. With a click, he unlocks the door and steps aside for you to enter.
The place is fairly large and at least somewhat clean, despite a few bottles and chip bags scattered on the table. There are also these multicolored 'smuppets' (Dirk so politely informs you when you mistakenly call them 'HELLISH LOOKING DOLLS') strewn around the room. Oh, look at that. They've even invaded the kitchen. You assume they're everywhere, silently watching your every move, and you do your best to ignore them. You're given a quick tour of the rest of his 'bachelor pad' before he takes you to his room.
His room isn't much better than the rest of the apartment. Posters from some godawful shit you've never cared to see are hung on the walls. Against one wall is a giant tv and a set of turntables. There are work benches littered with robot parts against another. His bed is the only clean thing in his room. At least you can maneuver around the room, seeing as the floor is fairly tidy.
Dirk pulls out his computer chair and offers it to you, so you sit. He takes a seat on his bed, crossing his legs, "So what do you think of casa de Strider?" You give him a confused look and he clarifies, "What do you think of the Strider house?"
"OH. WHY DIDNT YOU JUST ASK THAT THE FIRST TIME? I MEAN ITS ALRIGHT, BUT HAVE YOU EVER CLEANED THIS HOUSE? EVER?"
He cracks a smile and shrugs "Once for spring cleaning. It was awful and we all agreed never to partake in such activities again."
You groan, rubbing your temples, "EVEN SITTING HERE IN SUCH A MESS IS DRIVING ME OUT OF MY THINKPAN." You stand and begin cleaning up, Dirk quirking an eyebrow at you.
"What're you doing?"
"CLEANING. WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?"
He frowns "Awe man don't do that. Then I have to help or I'll look like a total douche bag."
You flash him a smirk and shrug, "GUESS YOULL HAVE TO HELP, HUH?"
As odd as it may be, you actually enjoyed cleaning and organizing. You wouldn't call it OCD; you like when everything is where you left it. Dirk eventually does help and the two of you actually have fun goofing off and getting to know each other. You even manage to clean his room, the kitchen, and the living room before the front door clicks open. The two of you look up to see a shocked older male who you presumed was their father and the insufferable prick you've been trying to avoid all day. The older male looked from you to Dirk, "Who the hell is this?"
"This is Karkat. Karkat, this is our older brother."
He turns his attention back to you, "This is the first time in years I've seen either one of them clean. You can call me Bro. Welcome to the family, kid."
Boy, they sure are fucking weird, aren't they? But it wasn't unpleasant. Actually, it made you feel welcome, seeing their guardian smiling and grateful. Especially to you of all people. No, wait, douchedick is opening his mouth to speak. The moment has flown out the window like a caged tweetbeast finally set free.
"Part of the family, huh? Well, kitten, guess that means you're stuck with me."
You growl, venom laced in your words, though you try to keep at least somewhat composed in front of 'Bro', "I HAVE A FEELING EVEN IF I WASNT DUBBED INTO THIS HOUSEHOLD AGAINST MY WILL, ID BE STUCK WITH YOU REGARDLESS."
Dave smirks, setting his bag down, "Ain't that the truth. The way I see it, there's no escape for you, Karks."
You cringe. Damn him and that beautiful accent of his. Luckily, you're saved by Bro. "You two already seem to have a history, don't you?"
You roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest, "LETS JUST SAY I FAVOR ONE STRIDER MORE THAN THE OTHER."
"You hear that, Dirk? I told you Karkitten had a soft spot for me."
You genuinely hope he doesn't actually believe the ridiculous mouth dribble he's spewing from his protein chute. "AS IF, HALFWIT. YOUR BROTHERS ARE INFINITELY MORE APPEALING IN EVERY WAY THAN YOU."
Dave holds a hand over his chest in mock hurt, "I'm wounded. You'd rather flirt with my brother than me?"
It takes every fiber of your being not to slap the fuck out of this idiot, "I AM NOT FLIRTING WITH HIM. WHY DONT YOU GO TAKE A SHOWER? YOU SMELL LIKE THE WOEFUL WET DREAMS OF A FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD IN A GYM SOCK."
He shrugs, picking up his bag, "Don't act like you don't love it."
Dirk clears his throat "I should probably get Karkat home."
Bro nods "It's getting dark. It was nice to meet you Karkat. Feel free to come over whenever you'd like."
Dave smirks at that, but you respond without paying him any attention. "THANKS. ILL KEEP THAT IN MIND."
As you and Dirk head for the door, Dave shoots you a smile and a flirty wave, "See you tomorrow, Kitkat."
You slam the door shut behind you. Suddenly, your house seems like paradise, and you can not wait to get home.