Karkat Vantas' Stri-Do's and Dont's of Highschool: A Davekat Fanfiction

Chapter 8: Two and a Half Pricks

Dave plops down on your bed and crosses his legs, looking up at you, "So, KittyKat, what're we doing?"
You huff and shrug, "I don't know. It's not like I planned this out."
"Oh please," he rolls his eyes behind his shades, "You totally planned this from the beginning."
This douchebag was begging for a face full of your fist. He knows just how to make you tick, and frankly, you think it's kind of hot, "Yes, Strider. In fact, this was all a set up. I sincerely hope you didn't catch on to the rest of my plan."
With a smirk, he leans forward, "Of course I did. I know all about how you're secretly horns over heels for me, Nubs. It's like the worst kept secret in the world. I bet theres rope and duct tape in the closet just screaming my name, huh?"
You decide to play along, placing your hand over your chest and saying in an exasperated tone, "I can't believe you found out. It was all a ploy. Please, let me throw myself at you like the lovesick schoolgirl I am."
He chuckles and holds his arms out, "I'll be your knight in shining armor. I'll catch you, Karkles."
You snort and pap his cheek, "Only in your dreams, lover boy."
He bops your nose with his finger and grins, "Believe me, I'll make them a reality. Just you wait."
Swatting his hand away, you roll your eyes playfully, "We'll see. Why don't you text your brother and tell him to come over and bring you clothes."
He pouts, "Why? This is supposed to be our sleepover."
You lean down, caressing his cheek and speaking in a low, seductive voice, "Because I don't trust you alone with me, casanova," You smirk and stand up, grabbing your phone and heading for the door, leaving Dave in shock. You glance back at him, "I'll call Dirk. You just sit tight."
This time he stays quiet. You can play his game just as well as he can, and you intend to show him so as you sashay out of the room. You smile to yourself. You know he's staring, and so does he.
~
Within a half an hour, you, Dirk, and Dave are sitting on your bed, Xbox controllers in hand. You're losing. By a lot, actually. You've had this thing for a while, but you were normally too busy to play. You're regretting not making more time for it now.
"Oh come the fuck on already!" You snap at the TV angrily, make the twins snigger. Out of all the bad ideas you've ever had, this is by far the worst. Literally everyone knows it. If there were a record for the most idiotic attempt at thought, you would've won by a landslide. Everyone else would've dropped out of the contest knowing that you, Karkat Vantas, are truly the master of pure stupidity.
"What happened there, Kitten? Did you forget how to play or something?" Dave grins.
You'd like to slap that smug look off of his face, "No, you two are intentionally destroying me! Why the fuck did I invite you two over anyway?"
Dirk rolls his eyes, "Obviously because you and I are best friends. I don't know why you invited Professor Dickwad over here."
Dave growls and punches his arm, "I'm here because Karkles got bit by the love bug and now he can't get enough of me."
"Har har har. Aren't you funny?" You grumble in a sarcastic tone, "If only that were true."
"I hate to be that guy, but it does kinda seem like you like him," Dirk mutters, focused on the game.
You snarl at Dirk and toss your controller aside, "Well I don't, so get that idiotic thought out of your thinkpan. He's loud and obnoxious and smells like something that was run over by a four wheel device and left to bake in the sun for two months."
Dave snorts, shaking his head, "Where do you come up with this shit? It's so cute."
You pinch his arm, "It's not cute, now shut your trap," you disconnect your controller so the other two can play without you and stand, "You idiots hungry?"
Dirk rolls his eyes, "Always man. Don't even gotta ask. You should know the answer is yes."
"Why? Are you making your lovely boyfriend some food?" Dave teases with a smirk.
"No," you hiss, "You are not my boyfriend."
"A sandwich would be great. Thanks babe."
One of these days you'll smack the stupid right out of this moron, but that day is not today. Instead, you trudge downstairs to the kitchen and grab what you need, standing at the counter and making some sandwiches. Honestly, did they think you were their maid or something? Your peace and quiet doesn't last long. Halfway through making the second sandwich, Meulin skips in, sitting on the counter. She smiles at you and her hands start moving at a ridiculous speed. You can hardly keep up with what she's saying, "So what's going on with the two cute humans in your room?" You roll your eyes and ignore her, so she continues, "Which one is the guy Kranky was talking about? The guy with the aviators?"
You sigh and pause your sandwich making task, turning to her and quickly answering her questions in sign language, "How am I supposed to know? What was he saying?"
She giggles and shrugs, "He said one of them is your matesprit and his brother is your moirail."
"Okay, the one with the dumb pointy shades may or may not be my moirail, but his brother is not my matesprit."
"But you two are so cute together!"
"I need to get back to the idiots with their food," You sign, finishing the last sandwich and stacking them in your arms.
"I saw Nepeta run into your room before I came in here," you give her a look as if to say 'are-you-fucking-with-me?' and she just laughs. With a groan, you beeline straight for your room.
When you get there, the game is paused and Nepeta is whispering to Dave and Dirk, "What the fuck is going on here?"
Dave smirks and plays dumb, "Oh nothing. Those sandwiches look delish."
You snarl, "Oh fuck off. Nepeta, what did you tell them?"
She smiles and purrs happily, "I was just telling them some of the cute things about mew. Like how you purr and chirp and chitter in your sleep. And how your ears lower when you're embarrassed. And the way you laugh when someone tickles you. And-"
"THATS ENOUGH!" you snap, your face red, "Nepeta, get out of my room."
She pouts and stands, pecking your cheek, "Mew know I'm right, Karkitty!~"
As she skips out of the room, Dave snorts, "You're ticklish?"
There's that dumb look of his again. If only you could bring yourself to sock him right in the jaw. Instead, you grit your teeth and hiss, "No."
Dirk smirks and takes off his shades, setting them aside, "Would you be willing to allow us to test that theory?"
Someone must've put crazy pills in their food this morning if these two morons think even asking that question is okay, "Um, no. You most certainly cannot. Fuck you, and have a nice day," you pick up your controller and sit, waiting for one of them to resume the game. They don't. Instead, they sit and look from you to each other and smirk, causing you to frown as you look between them, "What the hell are you two grinning about?"
You barely have time to finish your sentence before they're pouncing on you, Dave straddling your hips and tickling under your arms while Dirk attacks your feet. The sounds you make will haunt you for the rest of eternity. You squeak and snort, howling with laughter as you try to wriggle free. As petrifying as the experience is, it's also nice in a way. There's a small part of you that will never admit you enjoy laughing. Sure you laugh a little from time to time, but never like this. The assault ends as quickly as it starts, the brothers doubled over with laughter that reminded you of your own. You've never heard either of them laugh this way before. Your face turns red as you try to catch your breath. Dave wipes away a tear as he calms down a little, now reduced to small giggles, "Oh my god she was so right. Karkitten, that's too cute. We need to tickle you more often. You have the most adorable laugh."
Your face flushes deeper as you regain full realization of the situation and try to push him off of you. He doesn't budge. Instead he takes off his shades and hands them to Dirk to put on the nightstand with his own. Wow, has that color always been so beautiful? Those eyes of his are so beautiful you think you would marry them if you could. Dirk's golden honey ones are obviously beautiful in their own way, but they're nothing like the rich, scarlet ones his brother possesses. Maybe it's because the color has deep sentimental meaning for you, or maybe it's because the list of Dave's traits that your beginning to fall in love with is growing at a ridiculous rate. Whatever the reason, you've been staring for quite some time and Dave looks worried, "Huh? Oh. Fuck. Im sorry, I kinda spaced out for a second there. What did you say?"
"I said it's almost midnight and we have practice again tomorrow, so we should get some sleep," he says as he climbs off of you, pulling his jeans off and flopping down at your side.
Dirk lays down on your other side, tugging of his shirt and leaving him in sweatpants. He turns off your light and pats the spot beside him. Apparently you're taking the middle. You cuddle in between them and two arms immediately wrap around you, one from each twin. You feel your face heat, but you stay quiet. Dirk is the first to speak up, "You sure you want to sleep in jeans and a sweater? It's kinda hot."
You shoot him a look, "Are you implying you want me to take my clothes off."
"Strictly for heath purposes, Karkat."
With a groan, you make quick work of your sweater and jeans, laying back down and pulling the blankets over the three of you to hide yourself, "Happy now?"
He nods, their arms snaking back around you, "Yes, quite."
Dirk was out within fifteen minutes, but sleep doesn't come easy for you. You're lying on your back, staring at the ceiling fan whir for what feels like eternity. You jump when you feel Dave's grip on you tighten a little, "What's the matter? Are we making you uncomfortable? I can sleep on the couch if you want," he says in a soft, quiet voice. You can here the slight southern drawl when he talks this way. He sounds tired, and you feel bad for keeping him up.
"No, I'm fine. You can go to sleep."
"You're really tense man. Just relax okay? C'mere," he pulls you so your facing him, your head resting on his chest. You tense at first, but gradually relax. It takes a moment for you to get the idea and wrap your arms around him, cuddling closer. Dirk's arm is hooked on your waist and you're pretty sure he won't be letting go any time soon, but you don't really mind. You actually enjoy the closeness of the other two. Dave holds you tightly in his arms and you find yourself slowly nodding off into the most deep, peaceful sleep you've had in sweeps.

~Authors note~
I don't normally do authors notes at all, let alone the end of a chapter, but this is mucho importanto. I obviously don't speak Spanish but this is very important! I wanted to thank everyone for reading and for everything they've done to support me and this story. You wouldn't believe how much even a vote means to me. I also wanted to apologize for not updating a few days ago when I said I would. I kept getting distracted and just had things to do in general. To make it up to you guys for waiting so patiently, I'll start working on chapter nine after I post this and if I'm lucky I'll have it done by later today. You guys make this so enjoyable for me so thank you all so much. Hugs and kisses y'all.

~L3X1B1RD~