Hope

Chapter Twelve

The next morning I awoke before Danny and got out of bed, naked. I crept into the kitchen and started making coffee, certain I couldn't screw that up. His arms surprised me as they wrapped around my waist from behind. I leaned back against him and sighed, placing my arms on top of his, "This feels so perfect."

We stood like that for a few minutes, just relaxing in one another's arms. As much as I enjoyed his company and his body, I knew that eventually it was going to come to an end. Our lives were just too incompatible. Thinking about the inevitable made me tense up slightly, so I moved out of Danny's arms, pretending like I needed to finish making coffee.

Danny's eyes tightened with disappointment, but his voice was still cheerful, "So, I have the next couple days off. I was wondering what you wanted to do?"

"Well, if I am going to stay here for any length of time, I need to find a job." I held up my hand to ward off his protests, "I can't keep mooching off of you. You have been so awesome letting me stay here, but I can't keep on letting you provide for me."

This time Danny couldn't hide the hurt in his eyes or voice, "You want to leave?"

I turned around and wrapped my arms around his waist, "No, I don't. There is nothing I want more than to just stay here in your arms and bed forever. But I'm fairly independent, Danny. I love living with you and spending time with you, but I can't keep on letting you pay for everything. That's not fair to you."

"But I don't mind. I like taking care of you and providing for you."

"And I appreciate it, I truly do." He pulled away from him and I could tell from the slump in his shoulders that I had hurt his pride. I cupped his cheek with my hand, "If you want to keep taking of me, you can." His eyes brightened, "However, I still want to get a job. I can't just sit around here all day doing nothing, it will drive me insane. Plus, it will make it so I don't have to ask you for money every time I want to buy something or go out with Daisy."

He took a deep breath and smiled, "Okay, we can find you a job." He thought for a few seconds, "The fire station chief is looking for a new secretary."

"No offense Danny, but working with you would be a surefire way to kill our relationship."

"Relationship?" his eyes gleamed.

"Yes, relationship," I kissed him lightly. "Now while I would love to live, sleep, and work with you. I think having separate jobs would be a good thing. Make it so we are able to appreciate the time we actually do spend together more."

"Alright, you win." Danny laughed and pulled away, heading towards his room, "Let's swing by Gerry's Grill for breakfast. We can kill three birds with one stone – breakfast, getting you a job, and letting Gerry see how you are doing."

I thought about Gerry for the first time since the accident. If it hadn't been for him, I would most likely be dead. And if not dead, way more seriously injured than I had been. Thinking about the accident was not a good way to start the morning, but I could not pull myself out of the memory. I was remembering more and more about that night. Getting into the car, tears streaming down my face, the humiliation of being raped, crashing my car.

When Danny came back into the kitchen after getting dressed, I was on the floor hugging my legs to my chest. It was taking all my willpower not to break down and sob like a little child. When Danny saw me, he picked me up in his strong arms and carried me into his bedroom. Laying me down on the bed, he crawled in beside me and wrapped me in his arms. Gently stroking my hair, he whispered, "Shh, it's alright, you're safe now. I won't let anything bad happen to you, I promise."

We laid there for a while until I had calmed down. This was getting to be a habit, breaking down every time another memory resurfaced. It made me feel weak and out of control. Most things were already out of my control considering I had little to no memory of just prior to the accident. I felt like I needed to exert more influence over the aspects of my life that were actually within my control.