Desolation Row

Sixteen

Ray went out behind the bleachers Wednesday. He found no one.

Thursday, Patrick went with him. Just like Mikey had said, Gerard had noticed that Ray left the cafeteria every day, so he wasn't really surprised when the older brother and his boyfriend appeared behind the bleachers with them.

"The fuck are you doin' back here?" Frank asked.

"I come out here every day," Ray said. "Y'know, for fresh air."

Frank glared at him. "Whatever. This ain't your turf. Fuck off. Back inside, cum chuggers."

Ray sighed. He and Patrick stood up, walking back into the school. The announcement had come Tuesday that they'd be going back to IPH after the winter break, and Ray was starting to think it was for the best.

"Are you worried, Ray?" Patrick asked quietly.

Ray nodded. "But there's nothing I can do about it."

"D-Do you think he's trying to tell you something?"

"Like w-Oh."

"I'm sorry. Really."

Ray sighed, rubbing his face. "I've still got tomorrow."

"And if he doesn't show?"

"I'm not coming back. I promised I never would. He made me promise that I'd make a life without him. Like, forget he ever existed. But... I don't want to. I don't wanna have a life where someone that isn't my Mikey is standing beside me."

Patrick patted his friend's back. "You know I didn't support you at first. But then I met him. And I saw why you loved him so much. And I saw how you two looked at each other. And I don't even want you to lose that. I mean, he was even my friend in the end. He's a great guy. I'm sorry this is happening."

Ray rubbed his face again.

"I've still got tomorrow."

~

Ray sat down on the grass. He didn't care if Gerard and Frank came around, he wasn't going anywhere. He just wanted to be alone.

Being alone, he thought. How funny. It isn't that hard.

Twenty minutes passed. As the class bell rung, Ray felt his nose start to burn. He sniffed violently, covering his face.

No. There is no fucking way I'm crying. I won't do it. Not here. Not now.

He stood up and started to walk home.

~

-Eight Days Later-

"Ray?"

"Yes?" Ray leaned over the staircase railing to look at his mother.

"Can you go out and get some rock salt for the driveway? I know it's not going to stop snowing for a while, but I'd like to be able to leave for work without worrying."

Ray nodded. He pulled on his coat and jumped into the car. He drove downtown to the hardware store, running inside for the warm refuge of the building.

He quickly made his way down to where the salt was, but found nothing. Swearing, he walked back up to the customer service desk.

A girl who reminded him of Lindsey was running the desk. She looked up and smiled at him. "Hey, how can I help you?"

"Uh, do you guys sell salt?"

"We did, but we ran out about an hour ago. Sorry, hun."

Ray swore under his breath. "Okay, thanks." He started to walk away, but she stopped him.