Chim - Who You Are

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Kimberley you know you don't have to do this right?" Cheryl says to me as we pull into the car park.

"I know!!"

"Then why are you doing it? You aren't ready to be back yet" She says, and she's right, I know she is, I know I'm not ready. I know that better than anyone.

"Because, I have to move on" 

"But it's only been 2 weeks, you..."

"Cheryl, we have 1 month to the exams, I know its too early for me to come back, but I have worked hard for these exams, I want to pass them, I have to do them, I can't let what's happened effect that, If I do, that's the first downfall, I will be fine, I have to be" I tell her and she sighs before resting her head back against the chair.

"Come on, I will be fine Cheryl, I'm in most of you're classes today anyway, so I have you there right? It won't be as bad as you think" 

"I'm just worried you are pushing yourself too hard, I don't want you pretending that you are okay when you aren't..."

"Believe me Cheryl, I'm not pretending, I know I'm not okay, I know I'm not ready to be back, but I don't have a choice, I'm only going to be able to sit my exams once. I can't allow my mum's selfishness to continue, I can't fail my exams because then everything I have worked for this past year will be for nothing, please understand" I beg her, and she nods and offers me a smile.

"I do understand, I really do, I'm just worried that's all" 

"I appreciate that, but it's only for a month, and once this is all over I will slow down. I promise" I tell her and she starts laughing. "Fine, but just because I'm letting you back to school doesn't mean I'm letting you go back to work.." She says as she gets out the car and this time I can't help but laugh.

"We can have that argument later then" 

"we won't be having it all, I told you, you don't need to worry about anything just now..."

"Lets go to school Cheryl" I say cutting her off, not wanting to hear another lecture. Anyone listening would think we were a married couple, not two girls who only met about a month ago. 

My feelings for Cheryl was getting worse. Ever since the night of my mum's funeral, Ive wanted to do nothing more than Kiss her. At first I just put it down to the emotions of the funeral but I don't think it was. 

It was confusing me a little bit, If I hadn't just lost my mum, or had exams coming up, It would probably be tearing me apart right now, I'm glad Ive got something else to focus on. Hope that what I'm feeling is just because i'm not thinking straight.

"I'll see you in the next class, if you need me, phone me or come get me or anything and if any them give you grief  then let me know" Cheryl says snapping me from my thoughts and I nod and give her a hug and tell her to go to class.

She leaves unwillingly when the bell rings and I can tell that she doesn't want to go. I don't really want her to leave me either, she's been my security blanket the past few weeks. She has barley left my side, Although its only been 2 weeks since my mum's death, I feel like I'm coping in some strange way. The first week after the funeral was really hard, but the more I spoke to cheryl the more I felt myself calming down a little bit. It helped to talk about her, and I think that's where I went wrong when I lost my dad, brother and sisters. 

I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't want to accept that they had gone, I found it difficult to deal with and that's when I started cutting people out of my life, I refused the help.