Messages (Phan fiction)

Chapter 13

Silence is interesting
It can be awkward, it can be comfortable. They reason for silence can be something that has been said, or something that is waited to be said. 
But a lot of times, there is silence because things are good how they are and you don’t want to disturb them with words.

Sitting on the cold floor of the bath room with Dan, both of us quiet, was quite nice. The silence wasn’t pressuring at all. We weren’t saying anything because we were both happy to finally hold each other again.
The last few weeks, when I was in the mistaken belief that Dan didn’t love me, and Dan was held at home, because his parents were scared of him going out and meet me, had showed quite well that neither I nor Dan are capable of spending a lot of time separated from each other.

“I’m glad you’ve told me the truth now”, I mumbled, snuggling closer to Dan’s side.
“It doesn’t change anything though”, he sighed sadly. “We still can’t meet each other. I don’t want to imagine what my parents would do to you..” 
“I know, but it’s not as bad as believing that the person you love doesn’t love you anymore”, I contradict. “And we can at least send text messages or skype now.” 
Dan smiled slightly at me. “You always see the good in everything, don’t you?”
“Well, being all pessimistic isn’t fun, is it?”, I chuckled, my tongue poking out slightly at the corner of my lips. 
“I suppose not”, Dan responded a few moments later. 

In the thirty-something minutes we had been in the boys’ bathroom, I could literally see the change Dan was going through. 
The sparkle in his eyes came back. They didn’t look like the colour of dull mud anymore, but had their usual deep cinnamon-colour back. 
When I pointed that out to Dan, he shook his head in amusement.
“My so called friends don’t know me half as well as you do. No one of them noticed that something was wrong with me. I’m not that bad at acting, but I knew you wouldn’t be fooled by it. So I tried to prevent you from looking into my eyes. I wanted you to believe that I had gotten over you, so you would do the same”, he mumbled. “I obviously failed.” 
I kissed his cheek softly. “I’m glad you did. Otherwise we wouldn’t have cleared things up.”

The other change I spotted was that the colour came back into his face. 
His face had been unusual pale, though I only noticed it close by, nothing like the usual tanned colour I was so used to. 
Now his tan was fully back, accompanied by a slight pink blush, which only made him look a hundred times cuter. I didn’t tell him that though.
What I told him was: “I’m quite surprised your friends couldn’t tell you weren’t really yourself. No offence, but you look awful.” I gave him an apologising smile. “Well, looked. You’ve improved a lot since we’ve been here. You don’t look like a ghost anymore, though you still have rings under your eyes.”

“Why thank you very much. What a nice compliment”, Dan chuckled. “No, but I know what you mean. I let myself go a bit, but it wasn’t fully my fault. I wasn’t able to sleep, I couldn’t eat, I didn’t take proper showers anymore…”
“You’re gross”, I giggled, taking a strand of his greasy hair between my fingers. “Though, I didn’t cope much better either. I only ate and showered because I didn’t want to worry my mum.”
“You still love me”, Dan grinned, referring to me calling him gross. “At least you did shower, in contrast to me.”

I laughed out loud, one of my first real laughs in what seemed like forever. It was an amazing feeling to finally feel complete again, to be careless again. 
“I do, that’s right. I would still love you even if you only showered once every month, though I’d probably need to wear a face mask, because of your smelling”, I joked, making Dan slap my arm slightly. 
“Shut up, I don’t smell that bad, do I?”, he asked, seemingly only half joking. 
“Of course not. Your scent is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever inhaled. I think, I could even identify you by it. It’s so incomparable”, I blushed slightly at my raving about him.