I waited for Vic in silence, staring out the window blindly, unseeing. My thoughts were racing, and I couldn’t focus on anything. I kept zoning out, my vision blurring, my palms sweating. The only thing that broke my trance was the sound of my door opening. I still didn’t turn, until the person sat next to me. Vic wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. “I need you so much. Especially tonight.” He whispered brokenly in my ear. A tear ran down my face, and he wiped it away. “Don’t be sad baby, it’s all in the past now.” I looked him in the eye now, “But it can still hurt you. I’m sorry, I never should have brought it up. God Vic, I’m so sorry, okay ? I’m sorry.” My voice cracked at the last sorry, and tears flowed freely now. The look in Vic’s eyes was breaking my heart in two. His eyes looked like an elderly soldiers- filled with grief, nostalgia for a better time, and just genuine heartache. I led him over to the bed, motioning for him to get under the blankets with me. I snuggled down into the bed, as close to him as possible. He lay still and quiet, staring up at the ceiling. I planted kisses on his neck and collarbone, then his cheeks and lips. No response from him, but I kept doing it, just trying to make him happy. He turned to face me after a while, kissing my lips. I kept dropping kisses down his chest to his shirt line. He actually cracked a smile, and that gave me the courage to put my hands under his shirt. Vic’s breath hitched, and I ran my hands along his chest, kissing his lips over and over.
He slipped his hands underneath my shirt, resting on my hips. They slowly trailed up my back, and I shivered, arching my spine. He rubbed in slow circles, and I tugged at his shirt bottom. His grin was wide as he sat up and pulled his shirt over his head. I took in a sharp breath; he was beautiful. His skin was almost russet, even in the moonlight. His body was skinny and muscular, but not too over done. I kissed all the way along his collar bone now, and up his neck. His hands tentatively pulled on the bottom of my own shirt, and I nodded. He tugged it slowly over my head, his eyes running over my body. I was a little self conscious about my stomach, but I wasn’t going to let anything spoil this moment. He returned the favor by kissing my neck, but this time he kissed my stomach too. My hands knotted in his hair as he kissed my ribs individually. “Vic,” I moaned, and now he started sucking on my neck. My back arched again, and he murmured my name against my skin. His other hands ran carefully along my body, caressing my hip. He bit softly on the skin near the hollow in my throat, and I sat up quickly. “What ? Did I do something wrong ? Did I hurt you ?” Vic questioned, his eyes concerned and panicked, his hands hovering over me. I jumped out of bed, “No, you did something right.” I tugged off my jeans, and he raised his eyebrows. He got up and did the same, and soon there were two pairs of pants on my floor.
We continued where we left off, but this time Vic’s hand rested on my thigh. He slid it up to my upper thigh, and I began to get nervous. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do from here….Vic could tell I was getting deeper into things, and he suddenly stopped me. “Not tonight,” He told me softly. “Not this way…not, like this…” “What do you mean ?” I asked his stupidly. I knew what he was referring to, but not what “this way” and “like this”. “We’re both sad, we’re too sad tonight. I don’t want it to happen just to make us both feel better.” I nodded, he was right. I was actually kind of relieved, now I had more time to plan things out.
Things kinda slowed down after that, and soon we were just cuddling together. It still unnerved me a little that he was only wearing boxers, and I was only wearing a bra and panties. Vic sang softly to me, my favorite song of his “Yeah Boy and Doll Face.” I fell asleep to him murmuring lyrics to me and running his hand along my backbone.
I woke up in the morning, and Vic was gone.
There was a note on the pillow next to me, and it said “Sorry babe, I had to leave early because tomorrow is Monday. Sweet dreams baby girl, see you in a few hours. I’ll be waiting at your locker.” I glanced at the clock, it was pretty early still, only four o’clock in the morning. I groaned at the thought of school, but seeing Vic definitely made it better.
A few short hours later, and I was walking toward my locker, ignoring snide remarks. Vic stood, leaning against my locker, waiting for me like he’d promised. He looked a little worried, “I have to talk to you about something later, okay ?” I nodded, my eyes wide.
I spent the rest of the day with my stomach tied in knots.
