11/23

Hashtag 15

#GeniusAndGifted

"The genius accepts fucked up emotions; the gifted pretends nothing's wrong."

-x-

One of her biggest insecurities after purpose in life is her importance. A lot made her feel worthless. No one should follow.

And Jhing was sure the word stupid would never describe her.

Puzzle pieces clicked; Bee was the girl at the signing. Jhing wasn't good with memorizing faces but she was sure Bee Gonzaga was the one who gave her the box, and asked about that dreaded question: where do broken hearts go?

MJ, of love and karma, JhingBlanco. She wrote that on Bee's book dedication. Melchizedek Jesus. . .Crux.

She felt stupid.

Hindi kasi niya naisip na kakausapin pa siya ni Miko, o magkikita pa sila. Alam kasi niyang wala na. She ended it with a FB block, FB deactivation, new sim card and apartment. Alam niyang tangina siya, kabobohan – pero putangina naman ­– kaya nga lumalayo para hindi sila magkasakitan pa.

Alam niyang hindi anak ni Miko 'yon.

The memories were too fresh for her to forget; their chats, the ex, her tears, the baby, his explanations . . . pero kahit anong pigil sa sarili at paglayo – masakit pa rin talaga. Parang sinaksak siya ng isang malaking hindi ka importante sa puso. Ito na ba ang of love and karma niya? Why the heck did she write it that way, anyway?

She was striving to move the fuck on.

Pero ayun. Love plus karma? Back to negativity. . .and beyond.

Maybe her move was a big mistake.

Maybe she needed another plan.

Maybe Jhing should stop trying.

But stop trying what? Move on? Fall again? Breathe?

The last seemed tempting.

Jhing was tired of running, so she decided to stop and acted normal. Balewala rin kasi. Tumakbo man, lumayo man – masasaktan pa rin siya, makakasakit pa siya.

Ayaw niyang galawin ang kahit anong muscle sa katawan niya but she had no choice.

She had to get up even if she felt like shit.

Kailangan pa rin niyang harapin ang lahat; pumasok sa office, mag-edit, magsulat dahil matagal na siyang hindi nakakapag-update, matapos ang deadline, magtrabaho para magkapera para sa pamilya, prove her worth . . . and face Miko.

Which didn't happen eventually due to Miko's 3-day absence.

"Work from home siya ngayon," said Miss Stels when Yayo asked where Miko was. "May inaasikaso daw sa business."

Bad news para sa mga bagong babaeng naghanap kay Miko sa mga araw na 'yon. Luhaan silang umalis.

When Friday morning came, Jhing saw Miko. He was at the pantry, sitting at the corner – laptop on the table, and a cup of coffee. He was wearing his eye glasses again, bags under his eyes, a serious face.

Jhing's heart pounded when he looked up at her. Mas kinabahan si Jhing nang ngumiti ito. But Miko was taken aback, when Jhing tried to return the smile.

Na naging ngiwi dahil sa kaba.

Kung hindi na siya tatakbo, might as well be civil. . .ish.