Just A Travel

Chapter 7

Few Months Later- End of 7 Months Pregnant

I sat on the sofa with a blanket over me while flicking through the channels. Zak came over and sat next to me, he sighed "I don't mean to be rude or anything, but how long are you planing on staying here? I mean aint your boyfriend missing you?" I turned to face him, "I'm thinking of finishing him" Zak stared "But the baby, it wont have a father" I shrugged my shoulders "I'd rather the baby to have no father than an abusive one" I said twisting the diamond ring on my thumb "He was abusive?" Zak asked coming to sit down next to me.
I realised I said to much, I stopped playing with my ring "Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it though" I said getting up and walking to his bathoom, I felt him grab onto my shoulder and spin me around, I tried to push him off "I need the toilet Zak" I said laughing and ashamed "I wanna ask you something" he said looking down into my eyes and smiling "Fine" I said putting my hands onto my hips and looking up to him
"I wanna know, why did you have a baby with a man who has abused you?" I stared at him for a few seconds, quite shocked at his question.
I dropped my arms from my hips, there was a pause "I-I thought it would bring us closer, it does to other people" I said swaying my arm in the air "But having the baby made everything worse." I sighed.
I suddenly felt dizzy like I was gonna faint but then just angryness, like pure evil, I wanted to cause harm. I glared "I don't even want the baby!" I said angerly through my teeth. Everything fell silent, he stared, I continued to glare at him "..Don't say that.." he said touching my arm, I swung him off "No!" I stepped back "I, I dont want this baby.." I stared at the floor "I really don't" I shaked my head "No I really don't want this baby, ever since I found out it has ruined my life I-" "Faye quit being so stupid!" Zak said ininterrupting me "Your too far along to have an abortion!" he shouted "Abortion?" I smirked raising my eyebrows, I turned around and walked into the bathroom.

It's really weird, i'm walking around his house like I know where everything is, like I've lived here all my life. I went into his bathroom and locked the door, I didn't even jump at the sound of Zak banging on the door "Faye unlock the door!! What the fuck are you doing in there!!?" he shouted, I wasnt scared of him, as I flung open his cupboards and found his razor, I held and looked at it for a few seconds then looked at myself in the mirror. It was weird I couldn't see myself, if that makes any sense and I kept hearing a voice in the back of my head screaming at me, telling me 'don't do it' over and over, but then a stronger voice of 'do it, kill yourself'.

I raised the razor and put it on my arm, I kept expecting that it was gonna hurt, I scraped the razor down my arm, the blood dripped out firstly. Thing is I didn't care.
Zak kept banging on the door to the point where I thought it was gonna come through. I knew I had to be quick, I put the razor to my wrist again and went to scrape till he barged in, he obviously picked the lock.
I jumped and dropped the razor on the floor "Shit" I looked up and stared at him, he stared at me then looked down to the razor and the blood dripping from my left arm, he ran over to me and tried to grab the razor off the floor, I quickly moved to grab the razor the same time, I had the sudden urge to just scrape and cut myself, the thought of not doing it hurt.
I grabbed the razor first off the floor and stood up, I bent over and tried scratching myself with my shaking hands but missed every time "Fuckkk!" I kept muttering.
Zak was trying to grab my arm to stop me, I screamed "No! Please No!! I have too!!" I kept screaming over and over, I had to cut myself to relieve the pain. Zak grabbed my arm and held it tight, I dropped the razor, he didn't have to say anything, I could tell by his eyes just staring at me, like into my soul.. It burnt.

Zak backed off as I fell to my knees, everything seeming back to normal, I didn't have the urge to cut myself anymore, it's weird but I felt peace and calmness again.
The voice's in my head was gone. Zak quickly moved over to me and slid to the floor and wrapped his strong arms around me, he held me tight. I fell onto his strong chest exhausted, I started to cry, I felt safe in his arms, he moved my hair from out of my face and cupped my face in his hands. I looked up at him as a tear falls from my eye, he wipes it away with his thumb, then our mouths met I could of easily stayed like this forever.

Weeks have gone by since this incident, according to Zak I was possessed, which freaks me the fuck out.