Reasons Why

Chapter Twenty-Five

In the safety on her room she threw a few things in anger, then paced angrily across the room. That man! What was he daring to insinuate? 

As she started to calm slightly, she became a little more rational. She remembered the shocked expression on his face as the reality of the situation sank in, that he was imminently about to be a dad. Ok, she admitted to herself, this was a huge shock for him, and was obviously nothing he’d ever imagined. But still, the fact that he was so defensive...the fact that he could think that she would turn up and try to palm another man’s child off on him. Or that she’d be sleeping with other men around the time she was with him, she wasn’t a tart, far from it. She poured a glass of water from the mini bar and gulped most of it. 

Stripping out of the jeans and tunic she’d worn all day and took a warm shower. Calmer and fresher, she slipped on her cotton pyjamas, a strappy vest top and three quarter cotton trousers, then found the book she’d started on the plane over. Now that she wasn’t as exhausted as she had been for the first few months she knew that sleep would elude her. So she settled in the armchair in the corner of the room. 

She had barely sat down when there was a pounding at the door. Chloe sighed, she’d expected this straight after leaving him, but almost an hour later she was surprised, she really thought he’d given up. She also thought she’d have cried at his treatment, but as she walked to the door, she realised that she was more angry at his rejection of the baby than any rejection to herself. 

Pulling open the door she looked up into the eyes of Luke. He looked like he’d been crying, she wanted to put her arms around him, to hold him and help him feel better. But he needed to speak, she could tell that. 

                “You ran away Chloe! I couldn’t find out which room you were in, no one would tell me...I managed to get hold of Phil...You can’t just run away all the time!” Exasperated he fit out at the door frame. 

Silent, she stepped back and offered him the room and he came in. 

Running his fingers through his hair in anguish, he could barely meet her eyes, “I didn’t expect this. It’s all so confusing, I’d dreamt of seeing you again, you have no idea how many times. Nothing I’d ever imagined is close to this though. You pushed me away so much, in Victoria, New York and London, I never fully understood why. Then when I saw you, your condition,” he was so uncomfortable that Chloe almost laughed. “In my head, it suddenly made sense...” He sighed, “rather than not wanting me, if you’d found out that you were having someone else’s kid, well I could see how that would stop you wanting to be with me, that would make more sense! I could never understand why you were so determined to never see me again...Ha, it sounds so conceited now I’m saying it aloud!” He looked at her for the first time and tried to smile. 

                “Well it wasn’t! It isn’t! It’s no one but yours!” She wasn’t letting him sweet talk her; she had a baby to think of. 

He nodded, “and that’s terrifying!” Stepping towards her he smiled, “the thought of anyone else touching you makes me feel sick...another man’s baby would be a permanent reminder. I didn’t know how I’d cope with it; suddenly the future was all so unsure. But that’s selfish; nothing so stupid could change that. I realised that the second before you stormed out! I’d do anything to be with you...but that scared me as I didn’t know how to deal with it.” Still she failed to answer. “Talk to me Chloe, tell me I haven’t blown it! I’m scared...but more excited than I ever thought imaginable.” 

Her head snapped up, “really?” There was light at the end of the tunnel. 

Nodding he took her hands, “I can’t quite believe it...It’s not something we ever discussed...But shit! A baby...I don’t even know if this is what you want.”