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04. TOUCH
IT TOOK ALL of Eric's strength to get Parker back to his apartment. Still being drunk as a skunk, Parker spoke one or two words on our way home. He would only put his arm around my neck, almost dragging me down with himself every time he'd stumble to his own feet. Even after spending so much time with him, I still haven't gotten used to the smell of alcohol radiating off him, or to the shivers I'd get every time his skin would touch mine. It all felt like I was meeting him for the first time in my life; so strange, yet so familiar.
After Eric put him inside the bathtub and splashed the ice cold water all over his body, Parker's eyes widened and suddenly, he got his speaking ability back. "What the hell, man?" He shrieked, shaking due to the coldness covering his pale skin.
"He's all yours now." Eric sighed deeply, ignoring Parker's harsh voice while putting both of his hands in the pockets of his outworn jacket.
"What?" My jaw dropped, eyes going wide and my heart threatening to jump straight out of my chest. "You can't just leave me here with him! You know damn right how I feel about him and this screwed up situation."
"I'm sorry." Eric chuckled, showing off his dimples. "I'm working the night shift at the gas station. Besides, you've known him your whole life. If anyone can handle his stupid drunk ass, it's you."
"But what if I can't?" Still standing right in front of Eric, I crossed my arms, somehow trying to put on my best puppy face and stop him from bailing on me. I was still being so uncomfortable with having Parker so close to me again after such a long time and after our relationship harshly ended.
"You're going to be just fine, Joy." He assured me.
"But what about the others? Couldn't you call them instead of calling me?"
The sudden unease showed up in his dark brown eyes, as he lightly bowed his head. ''We haven't spoken in a while. After Jason died, we kinda drifted apart.''
Everything was better than the quiet which was floating in the air. My brain couldn't think of a proper sentence that would lighten up the situation. All the words seemed to be useless and way too empty. No matter what I decided to say, it wouldn't change the fact how hurt Eric actually was, nor would it bring Jason back.
"Call me if you need anything, alright? You have my number." He said with a bright smile before his boots started thumping against the floor, leaving wet trails after he then left the bathroom, carefully closing the door behind.
All I could do was bite my lip and blankly look at the door that was shut right in front of my own nose. I thought that after all of this was finally over, I'd go home and have my own, boring life back. That was, however, me trying not to face the truth, to actually avoid Parker's stupid face and the feeling of all the memories coming back to me again. I was trying not to turn around, to look at him and immediately feel the stinging pain and the sorrow that have been dragging me down even after the both of us went our separate ways.
After minutes of blankly staring at the doors, I have decided that it was time for me to turn my head around, to look at the bastard straight in the eyes and help him get out of this horrible mess. After all, there was still a soft spot for him in my heart, especially when he looked as vulnerable as he did.
Sighing deeply, I reluctantly walked closer to him and knelled down, facing him. He looked completely dead at the moment and all I wanted was to get him out of the bathtub so that I can finally go home and never see him again, since he'd most likely not remember anything in the morning, which was a big plus this time.
After minutes of staring at him, I haven't come up with a simple sentence. The hardest thing to do was to choose the right actions, or the right words to say, because at that moment, nothing seemed to be right anymore.
However, it seemed that I was debating way too long because Parker shifted his body, opened his tired eyes and asked a question that caught me off guard. "Why are you here?"
"Excuse me?" I blinked, staring at him, bemused.
"Why are you here with me, Joy? Why did you come here?" His voice turned harsh as he kept his eyes locked on me. The cold water was dripping down his body, but it didn't seem to bother him at all.
"Eric called me and said he needed my help. So I came here. To help." The words were sloppily coming out of my mouth and I knew that I was trapped. I thought that telling him the truth would make me feel better, but there was something else in me that I couldn't get rid of. A feeling of regret and uneasiness, that was set on fire just at the time my eyes met with his again.
"I came here because Eric asked me to." I spoke again, hoping that he'd let it go for now.
"Why now?" But he was persistent, obviously seeing that he already had me cornered. "Why here? Why not a year ago? Where were you then, Joy? Where were you?"
I gulped as his eyes didn't leave mine. He wanted me to say what I really felt about him. He knew that there was still something inside of me, something that couldn't stop caring about him.
"I'm not gonna have this conversation right now." I said and turned around, about to walk out the door. I didn't even manage to take two steps before a hand grabbed mine. The touch sent familiar shivers down my spine. Biting down my lip nervously, I didn't turn back to look at him as he spoke.
"Just tell me why are you here."
"I-I...I don't know,'' was all I managed to say. My brain couldn't admit the fact that I still deeply cared for him and that I missed him way too much.
As I turned around, he started to stand up and I helped him somewhat. His pale skin was cold, the water dripping down his forehead but the only thing he was focused on was holding my hand yet so tightly, like he never really wanted to let go of me. When I started to walk out of the bathroom, he stopped me again. This time it wasn't by grasping my hand, but by giving me a back-hug that made my heart start racing.
''I can't believe you're here.'' His plump lips left traces against my ear, and I could feel his hands resting around me.
The moment very quickly ended though, when I realized that he reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. This wasn't what I wanted right now, because he was clearly still drunk and he had no idea what his lips was speaking. After pushing him off of me, I wrapped his tired arm around my neck. ''C'mon'', I said, supporting an increasingly drowsy Parker, ''let's get you back to bed.'' I walked out of the bathroom with the intention to help him lay down somewhere.
Once the couch came into my vision, I slowly let go off him, helping him rest his head against a not so comfortable looking pillow. He hadn't even bothered to move his body once he felt the furniture beneath himself. His limbs were way too numb to even make a movement, so he lousily opened his mouth to speak again.
''I miss you.'' He mumbled.
''I know.''
''So much.'' While muttering unreasonably, his eyes were slowly starting to close, his facial expression turning peaceful before he finally drifted to sleep.
