Broken Promises (Harry Styles FanFiction)

The boy.

RACHELS POV:

I havent talked to the boys since the day i broke up with Harry. I know that they are in london doing some interviews this week and next, just hpefully they are free for the wedding. They need to be. Harry promised.

As i sat there doing their invitations i wondered what they were doing. Are they missing me? Is Harry missing me? Is harry over me? Do they all not care about me anymore? I mean they havent texted or call me ether. Maybe they thought i needed space? Or maybe they thought that it would be best not to talk as im getting married?

I dont even know what to think anymore. I mean come on. My whole life is basically planned out for me now. My dad and mum have decided who im marrying. They decided when, where and when the wedding is. My mum is picking me the dress and they have decided that Thomas's 2 sisters who i havent even met will be my bridemaids. They decided the theme and the colour. They choice the cake and invitations. I dont like any of it. I dont even wanna get married but its like my choice or speach doesnt matter anymore. Anything i say they wont listen to. They wont let me do my own fu.cking wedding. Im so close to cutting again because of all this stress. I dont even think its stress. I just feel so alone, hurt, sad, depressed, all my emotions are on over load. I dont even know what to feel anymore but sure as hell i dont feel happy, i know that for sure. The only person who made me happy was Harry and now look. I havent even spoken to him or the boys in a week. Its killing me. I just wanna know how they are. I wanna know if their thinking of me or not. I just wanna know if he still loves me. I'm so close. So close to cutting but i cant, i promised Harry and i cant break that promise again. We've broken to many already.

Out of everything the one thing i do now is....I hate my life. 

"RACHEL!" I heard someone shout my name. I snappe dout of my thoughts and saw that i got so lost in my thoughts that i havent even started writing the boys invitations. I dont know how to. I snapped my head to the side when i heard someone shout my name again. It was my mum. She was one the phone.
"Yea?" I asked confused.
"Your dad and thomas have gone out but most of all theres someone on the phone for you." Mum said and handed me the phone.

"Hello?" I asked when my mum left the room.
"Rachel?" I heard the on so familiar voice.
"Harry?" I said and he chuckled.
"Ive missed you so much!" He said and i smiled widely. This is probably the first time i have smiled in ages.
"Ive missed you too!" I said
"What about us?" I heard someone say in the back ground.
"Put it on speaker" Someone else said
"Okay" Harry said. 
"you are on speaker with no other than one direction please do not use horrible lanuage." I heard lou say and i laughed.
"I've missed you guys sooo much!" I said and they all cooed.
"We miss you too" they all said. I was smiling so much my cheeks were hurting but i didnt care. I hadnt been this Happy in ages and im going to cherious it.
"So hows the wedding going?" Liam asked and i sighed.
"Fucking Horrible" I said and the boys laughed.
"LANUAGE!" Louis shouted and we laughed more. 
"How so?" Niall asked.
"Well, its more like my dad and thomas's wedding. Serious, its like their getting married." I said and they laughed again.
"Why?" Harry asked
"Because i ahvent decided anything of this wedding, i mean not that i want to because i dont wanna get married but they've decided the cake, theme, colour, my dress, everything. My bridemaids are thomas's 2 sisters who i havent even met!" I said
"Oh" "wow" Was all the boys said.
"Anyway nothign about the wedding, what you guys been up too?" I asked
"Interviews, photoshoots, the normal" Zayn said and i lauughed.
"Why you laughing? I dont understand" Niall said
"because you guys talk like its noraml for five attrative teenage boys should be doing all this but its not..." I said laughing.
"You think we're attractive!" Lou said
"Of course, i would have to be blind not too" I said giggling.
"You think im the best looking though right?" Harry said and i sighed.
"Hmmm.....I dont know Nialls quite good looking" I said and heard the boys giggle and Harry gasp.
"I see how it is!" He said like a five year old who didnt get his way.
"Im joking" I said but he didnt say anything. "I love you really Harry, you know i think your the attractive out of all of you" I said and he sighed and giggled.
"Yea i know and i love you too" He said and i smiled. I ahvent heard him say that in a while.

After a while on speaker harry ook me off so we could just talk.
"So hows this Thomas guy?" Harry asked. I could tell the protective side is coming out.
"Alright i guess. I mean anyone would be glad to have him as a boyfriend or husbad because his really nice but his nothing compared to you." I said truthfully.
"Awww babe" Harry said
"No im being serious. Everything he does i compare to you and some how found that its nothing and even his looks i compare to you. The first time i met him i compared every inch of him to you and just....nothing." I said and there was silence before harry spoke.
"I know this is tough on you and its tough on me too you know. I miss you so much. I miss having you there to make me smile. I miss hearing your voice and miss having you to cuddle to at night. I miss everything but just a couple more days.." He said and i smiled.
"You havent forgot then?" I said
"Of course not how could i? Its the day i get my baby back" He said and we both giggled.
"How have you been feeling?" Harry asked me
"Why?" I asked
"Because your mum said you arent as happy." He said and i sighed.
"The truth?"
"Yes"
"Truth. Im sh.it. I feel alone, sad, angry. hurt, and depressed. I've even thought about cutting again..."
"Rach-"
"Dont worry i havent."
"Good"
"You wanna know why?" I said
"Why?" He asked.
"BEcause of you. I remember that at the end of all this we will be together and thats what keeps me going and that i promised you i wouldnt."
"Good girl. I love you so much Rachel." He said
"I love you too." Suddenly heard the door go. Thomas and dad are back. "Harry i gotta go Thomas and dad are back, I love you" I said
"Okay i love you too bye." He said before i hung up...