SEX // MATTY HEALY // HAUNTEDHEALY

virgin (+)

I'm on the bed in his room. 

I bet my boyfriend is jealous. I've never let us have sex. I'm a virgin. Yeah, I know. I'm an adult now. I shouldn't be...blah, blah, blah. But I am, so there. 

"Are you a virgin, still?" I nod my head as tears stream down my face. There's nothing I can do to stop him. "Oh my fucking god. How the fuck-" He trails off into thoughts. All the while, we're struggling against each other. He wants to undress me, I don't want to get undressed for him. Or anyone-until I'm ready. "Well, that's not going to last for very long. Not here." I sob harder. "Do you ever shut the fuck up?!"

I shake my head. "Yes, but not here. Not with some asshole who wants to take something that's not his to take." 

"Oh, it's mine. You're mine." 

"I'll never be yours. I belong to no city-I belong to no man. You're just some narcissistic asshole off the streets who wanted someone to fuck." 

"Enough! I was thinking about maybe going a bit easier since you're a virgin, but not if you act like this. Hell no." 

I cry harder and let him take off my clothes. 

"I'm Matthew. You'll call me Matty or Daddy or whatever." 

"I'm Harlyn. You'll always be an asshole." 

He nods and smirks, which makes me angry. 

"Well, Harlyn, get ready." 

He opens the bedside table and grabs a condom, undresses himself, and puts it on. 

I can barely get a fucking tampon in. How the fuck am I supposed to get something that's, like, twenty times the size of a tampon in?! 

He positions himself on top of me and forces his mouth on mine. I kiss back, maybe it'll distract from the pain of-

Nevermind. 

Nothing will ever stand to this pain. He's almost halfway inside of me. Only halfway. I never thought losing my virginity would hurt this bad. Holy shit. There are tears, hot and sticky, streaming down my face. He's in now, waiting to move until I'm adjusted to him. 

"Can you fucking move?" 

He takes my signal and pulls out. Can I stand another? 

He's huge, and I feel so...small. He doesn't hesitate to throw another thrust. It hurts again-not as much, but still almost unbearably. I scream out in pain. 

"Do you ever shut the fuck up? It doesn't hurt!" 

Yes it does. He sits for a few seconds inside of me, and pulls out painfully slow. 

"Can we be done, please?" I say sassily. But honestly. 

"Fuck you." He pulls out, though, and walks out of the room after throwing the condom away and re-clothing himself. He's got a good body. But not a good soul.