Never Felt Right Calling This Just Friends (Jack Barakat)

Chapter 22

Liz P.O.V

I felt like I sobered up the second Jack tried to push down my jeans. I got scared.

Flashback

The final bell rang means school was over. I swung my rucksack over my shoulders but waited a bit so the halls were less crowded. After my teacher told me to go home I left the classroom and tried to get outside the building as fast as I can. He was already waiting at his car. He was Eric, and Eric was my boyfriend. It was Friday and I was staying the weekend at his because his parents went somewhere. Just like almost every weekend.

I reached the car and Eric gave me kiss on the lips. "Get in".
I sat down and we drove home.
We didn't talk much. We've been together for about 4 months now but it doesn't really feel like a real relationship. I loved him and I tried my best to show it to him. But he.. He doesn't give me the feeling that he loves me, at least not anymore. That was different 4 months ago. I don't know what happened between us.

He parked in front of his house and we went inside. "Are you hungry?", he asked me and I shook my head no. I actually felt hungry, well at least my body but my head said no. He just shrugged with his shoulders and made himself a sandwich.
The spent the rest of the day with watching TV or me watching him playing the Xbox until he got a message on his phone. He looked at it and then go to me.

"I'm going over to Aaron's I'll be back in a few hours. Make yourself at home and do whatever you want", he said and I got upset. He even leaves me alone when i'm we're at his house now.

"Why? Can't you do that another time or if you wanna see Aaron, can't he come over? I miss spending time with you, just like we used to", I told him with a small smile, hoping he would give in. He looked me in the eye for a moment but then turned around and got his shoes and jacket. I followed him to the door.

"See you later", he said and gave me a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and heard the door close. I checked the time on my phone and saw it was already 8pm. I sat back down and the couch and watched some random TV show.

3 hours later

I jumped a little as I head keys falling to the floor. I turned the TV off and went to the doors to open it. Eric came inside, throwing his shoes in the corner.

"Hey babe", he said giving me a kiss. I wrinkled my nose at the strong smell of alcohol. "Did you have a good evening?", he asked me. Is this supposed to be a joke?
"You did obviously", I said quietly.
"Yeah but let's make it even better", he said and got closer to me. I stepped back and he noticed.

"Hey", he warned me and I let out a shaky sigh. He took my hand and walked us to his bedroom, bringing his lips to mine the second be closed the door. He took our shirts off and pushed me onto his bed.
"Eric could you please stop?", I asked him and he looked up. "Shhh", was all he said and brought his hands to my boobs and kissed my sweetspot. I used to enjoy this but I couldn't right now. I felt numb.

He opened my bra and took it off and I could feel his bulge against my leg. I felt anxiety building up in me. I don't want to do this. Not now. He knows i'm virgin and that I want to wait. He told me he's okay with that.

"Hey i'm still not ready, stop it", tears made their way down my cheeks and it got harder to breath. "But I am and I've waited long enough", he said and I couldn't believe what was going on.
I tried to stand up but he took hold of my wrist and pushed me back down.
"Let go of me Eric", I screamed but he just laughed. "Shut up or I will make you".

He took the rest of our clothes off and I kicked him in the stomach as he did so but that was a mistake. He punched me right in the face and I fell back. I started to cry and he took his opportunity to enter. This couldn't be real. I was dreaming. It's just a nightmare. That's what I kept thinking. But it wasn't. It was reality.
I closes my eyes, hoping it would be over soon.

He was moaning and soon reached his climax. At least he didn't forget to out a condom on. He pulled out and lied down and passed out after a minute.
I could't move. I didn't feel anything. I wanted to cry, to scream but nothing came out. I wanted to get up and run away but my body didn't let me.

This was the beginning of the worst time of my life.

End flashback

I started to cry. I haven't got that close with someone after Eric and it's freaking me. I couldn't get the images of Eric above me out of my head. Him having the time of his life and me helpless underneath him. Every single weekend. It wa-
"- Liz hello talk to me", someone shook me. I looked up, seeing Jack in front of me. I was with Jack, not with Eric. "Here take this", he said, putting a blanket over me and that's when I realized how much I was shaking.

"What's wrong? Please talk to me, you worry me", Jack said serious, his eyes filled with panic. "I- I'm sorry", was all I managed to say.
He just hugged me tight and I felt myself calm down. He never fails to make me feel safe. His hugs are like an escape.
"I'm sorry", I repeated myself.
He looked at me."For what? It's okay. I should've thought of this. I'm sorry. We don't have to do this. I'm sorry, that was my mistake", he rumbled over his own words. He thinks that it's my first time, doesn't he. I took a deep breath.

"It's not that", I told him. "Oh so you're not..", he said, looking down. "No".
He clenched his jaw and looked back at me. "What is it then? What was this right here? What happened with you?", he asked, still worried. I can't tell him. I haven't told anyone. The guys just knew that Eric has been abusive. I didn't told them that he raped me. I was ashamed.
"This shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry", I said and with that I got up. I picked up my shirt from the floor, put it back on and ran away. I didn't know where I was going but I needed to get away.