jerrie ↔ one shots

Rest In Peace

[This one shot may be triggering to some people, I am vv sorry. I love you all loads.]

Perrie

The day I walked in on Jade, unconscious on the bathroom floor in our shared two bed apartment, will be a day I will never forgive myself for. Jade Amelia Thirlwall, my beautiful girlfriend of what would have been three years, a week after she passed. For the entire three years we were dating, and for several years before, Jade was a victim of self harm. Her childhood was traumatised, that's what started it off, and it didn't take a lot for her to relapse.

I sat, sobbing at the front of the church, staring at the coffin which contained the girl I had planned to propose to. My emotions drowned out what the priest was saying, and it was only until my mam nudged me from my right side, that I snapped back into reality.

"Perrie, it's your turn, for the speech" my mam whispered, and it was then that I realised everyone in the church was waiting for me to attend the stand. I nodded, and took a deep breath, standing up and tugging at my dress. I wiped the majority of my tears away, not caring about my cheeks that were stained with mascara. Almost everyone that was present at Jade's funeral was in tears.

"Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for coming today" I began, before looking over to the front row and seeing mine and Jade's best friend's and band mates, Jesy and Leigh, also in tears. I took another deep breath before speaking again. "As you all know, Jade was one of the most beautiful, bubbly, down-to-earth people I have ever been lucky enough to meet. She was... she is the one." I looked down, and smiled to myself as I imagined Jade entering the bedroom on an early Monday morning, the way her hair would be all messed from sleeping. She'd be in her disney pyjamas, and she'd have that gorgeous smile plastered on her face. It was without a doubt, the best wake up call in the world. "Jade meant, and will always mean everything to me, and I know she means so so much to every one of you here." I looked over at the coffin, and took another deep breath. "Nobody knows this, but I had planned to propose to Jade on our three year anniversary." There was a short but chorused gasp from the majority of the people present. "I had the whole scene planned." I reached into my pocket, and pulled out the small royal blue box that contained the engagement ring I had planned to use when I made my beautiful girlfriend, my beautiful fiance, and eventually, my beautiful wife. I opened the box, and more tears fell down my cheeks. I walked over to the coffin, and placed the open box on top. "Jade Amelia Thirlwall, I want nothing more than for you to be mine, forever. I know, now you're not here to accept this ring, but I want to give you this, as a token of my love for you, because no matter what, you will never ever leave my heart princess." As soon as I finished speaking, I burst into floods of tears, and was almost immediately embraced into a group hug with Jesy and Leigh.

***

Once the service was over, we made our way outside, to bury my love.

"Jade! Jade baby, I'm home!" I called out as I threw my keys into the bowl next to the door and hung my coat on the hook. "Jade?" I repeated when I didn't get a response. I searched the small apartment, but stopped when I heard the bath water running when I passed the bathroom door. I smiled to myself as I made my way into the kitchen to make myself a coffee. After a 15 minute wait, Jade was still silently taking a bath, so I went to check on her.

"Jade babe, everything okay?" I said through the door. The bath water was still running on full. "Jade?" I knocked on the door rapidly, now extremely worried. As I reached down to grab the handle, I noticed my feet in a puddle of water that had formed from underneath the bathroom door. "JADE?!" I shouted, vigourously shaking the door handle, but it was locked. I stood back, and viciously kicked the door, and broke the lock. The door swung open, and what I saw next, I will never get that image out of my head. My beautiful brunette, unconscious under the water.

"JADE!!!!" I screamed, lifting her head out of the bath tub and pushed her soaked hair away from her mouth. "JADE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" I sobbed as I pulled my girlfriend out of the bath and layed her flat on the bathroom floor. I immediately gave her mouth to mouth, even though in my head I knew it was too late. I grabbed my phone, and called an ambulance, and waited for them to show.

"We therefore commit her body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life." I couldn't take it anymore, I burst into another set of tears and pushed past the crowd and ran to an open area with a bench. I sat, and almost immediately, Jesy and Leigh sat beside me.

"Perrie..." Jesy cried.

"She's gone. She's really fucking gone. I'm never going to see her again. I'm never going to be able to hug her, hold her hand, cuddle her in bed. She was my everything and she's gone!" I sobbed into my hands.

"Perrie I know it's hard. It's hard for everyone, but Jade would want you to be their for her final goodbye" Leigh-Anne said, rubbing my back to calm me down a little. After a few minutes, I calmed slightly, and returned to the burial. I watched as the box containing the love of my life was lowered into the ground. I blew a kiss, and waved goodbye, as the earth was piled back into the grave.

"Rest in peace my angel. I love you, forever and always" I whispered to myself, as the funeral came to an end.

[Okay, so I sobbed!]