Do I Still Love Her? (Lesbian Story)

Chapter Nine

Willa's P.o.v.

After getting over the horrible hangover, I called Alice. She picked up on the second ring.

"Willa! What's up?"

"Hey Alice. I was wondering if you'd like to go see the Blaix household with me?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I haven't seen or heard from Jackson or Chance since when we broke up. Don't you think they'll think it's pretty strange that I'm suddenly showing up?"

"I'll... tell them we met when college started up. Say that we made up and that we are all cool now."

"Even though that's a giant fucking lie."

"Well we are cool now. Maybe not you and Grace, or Kingston, or Madison..."

"I'll come with you anyways. I'd like to see the married couple again. Though you do know eventually we are going to fail all our classes if we keep skipping."

"Then let this be the last time we skip. Swing by my dorm and we'll head on over."

"Alright. See you soon, babe."

I hung up and sat my phone down on my dresser. I showered, changed into skinny jeans and a grey v-neck, slid on my red Vans, and did my hair and make-up. As I went to go put my phone into my pocket, there was a knock at the door, presumably Alice. I grabbed me phone and opened the door.

"Hey! You ready?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. Let's go."

We rode the bus for a bit and then walked the rest of the way to the Blaix house. It's still weird to say 'Jackson Blaix.' We knocked on the door and waited a few minutes before Chance answered.

"I'll be right there, fuck hold- Willa! And... Alice?"

"Hey Chance. Uh, can we come in?" I asked.

"Y-yeah... Hey Jackson! Willa and Alice are here!" Chance called out as we stepped inside.

"Willa and who?" Jackson called back. We went to take a seat in the living room. Jackson must be in there bedroom. Soon he walked into the living room and stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Alice.

"Alice... Alice, Alice, Alice! Come here!" She did, warily, and he engulfed her in a hug. "Oh it's been forever! How are you? Wait, no, I should be asking why you are here."

"Well, we met again in college and made up." I said.

"What? I thought you were dating Madison still?" Jackson asked.

"I am! No I mean we made up as in we are friends again, not girlfriends again." Alice looked down, sadly. I really do hate doing this to her I just can't be with her while I am with Madison... I'm with her but not with her.

"Oh... Okay then." Jackson said. He sat down on one of the couches with Chance and Alice sat back down next to me.

"So how are you Alice?" Chance asked.

"Good. A lot better now."

"Better now? What does that mean?"

"Well now that I've got my friends again."

Chance's mouth made an 'o' shape and his eyebrows raised a little. He shut his mouth and looked concerned again. "No one stayed with you... Were you alright on your own?"

I tried not to look as awful as I felt. No one had stayed with her and she spiraled. God I'm an awful person.

"I still had Lizzy. And I made a friend, Jamie."

"Oh, is this Jamie character friends with all of you now?" Jackson asked.

"No... not really. I'm actually not so sure if we're all that great of friends anymore."

"What happened?" Jackson asked.

"We started, um, dating and it... it didn't turn out to well. We broke up a little over a week ago, actually."

"I'm sorry hun. That sucks." Jackson said. Alice looked over at me and then down at her shoes. "Hey Willa, I need to talk with you. Let's go to my room." I got up and followed after him. Chance and Alice started to make another conversation as Jackson shut the door to his bedroom.

"So you and Alice... Are you sure things are all fine there?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean things felt mighty awkward back there. You two are just friends, yes?"

"I'm still with Madison."

"Willa that's not an answer. Are you two just friends?"

Should I lie? I really don't want to lie to Jackson. He deserves my complete honesty. He's always honest with me. Oh Jesus Christ...

"No."

"Willa, honey, you cannot cheat on your girlfriend."

"I know!"

"You remember what happened with Chelsea and Misty? It took them a while before they could get back together again. Then after that Chels left! I do not want you to be Misty in that situation. You know how bad she hurt, and Chelsea hurt a lot as well. Don't do that to Madison, she seemed like such a sweet girl when you introduced us to her."

"She is! I know she doesn't deserve that but I can't... I can't leave Alice. I still love her. But I love Madison too!"

"You've got to go with one or none."

"So I've been told... Can you maybe not tell this to anyone else? Madison obviously doesn't know I'm cheating on her and I don't want her t figure that out. I'll have to tell her at some point, but I don't want her to hear it from someone else."

"I'm telling Chance though."

"I figured you would. He is your husband after all."

"When you make your decision, keep this in mind: Who do you see yourself having a future with?"

That is probably the best thing anyone has told me so far. Who do I see a future with? Ugh, something else I'm going to have to take into consideration.

We went back into the living room and we all chatted for a good three hours. It reminded me of the time when I first introduced Alice to Jackson, except instead of Chelsea by his side, there was Chance. After that we left and went back to my dorm.