Sherlock | Crappy Fanfics

Cock Blocked

There's a lot of talk about penises and what not in this one. If you don't know what a penis or a dildo is, I strongly advise that you don't read. Not that there's anything bad, or smutty, but still. Yeah. Whatever.

Sherlock and John were dead.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. Although, the look on both Mary's and Molly's face as the two scarpered away at the first sight of the boxes did suggest that if they weren't dead now, they would be soon.

The boxes had been a delivery from one Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade, who had apologised profusely as he dumped them the lab at St Bart's, but, there were tests to be done. Tests that Molly (and Sherlock, although God knew where he was), had been asked to carry out.

"Is this all of them?" Mary asked, frowning as she peered inside of the boxes.

Lestrade nodded grimly, refusing to look and choosing to find interest in the wall behind him instead.

"You better be off then," Molly suggested, patting him lightly on the back as she walked passed him, going to have a look in the boxes for herself. Again, Lestrade nodded, before quickly leaving.

The two women stood either side of one particular box, frowning at the contents and then at each other. Slowly, Mary reached in and took one out.

Surveying it a bit too closely, she held it at arms length before speaking.

"Why would somebody ever need so many dildos?" She asked, squinting at it. Opposite her, Molly shrugged.

Suddenly, an idea popped into Mary's head and she reached over towards Molly, poking her shoulder with the tip.

Instinctively, Molly grabbed one from the box too, opting for a nice purple one in opposition to Mary's black.

"Is that how you want to play?" She asked, raising an eyebrow and pointing the pretend plastic phallus at Mary.

"Oh, that's how I want to play." Mary said, the corners of her lips turning into a smirk.

Their penises met in mid air, crossed over one another and poised to strike. However, neither one of them had time for a count down, as anticipation grew the best of Molly and she lunged forward, only to have her cock successfully blocked by Mary.

Quickly enough, the battle grew heated and both Mary and Molly were covered in sweat as they thrust their inanimate phalluses into one another's ribcage, stomach, and any other part of the body they could reach. It was like a strange game of fencing.

Neither looked up as Sherlock and John reentered. They froze in the doorway, watching the battle from afar, before both blushing bright red and leaving almost as suddenly as they had come.

After that match, which finished not longer after the two blokes had reappeared, Mary and Molly swore to have more dildo battles in the future. 

I'm not proud.