bad blood [zayn malik, AU] COMPLETED

[29] I killed him

"Rose?"

I killed him.

"Talk to me Rose, please!"

I killed that man.

"Rose!"

I killed him.

"Zayn, she wont talk. She has been like that the whole time, she would just mumble a few words we couldn't understand. She didn't even recognize us"

Would his family ever find out he's dead? Did he have one?

"Rose goddamnit, dont act like a mad man and talk to us!"

My eyes opened. "He wasn't mad, he didn't even do something, he just grabbed me. He didn't desereved this"

"What? Rose, what are you talking about? Who just grabbed you? Did someone try to hurt you?", Zayn was confused and at the end of his talk, he seemed angry. I didn't notice until now I was in the boys house. The last thing I remembered is that I was in the woods, and then I heard Liams voice and he took me with him and I killed a human being. I killed someone.

"He probably never meant to do anything, he was just alone", I stuttered, looking away.

"Rose, who!?", Zayn jelled.

"Zayn, calm down. Rose, take that water". Liam handed me some water. I declined. "Do you want anything else? I could bring you a bottle of blood or -", he started, but my eyes widened and I started crying again.

"Liam, what have you done!"

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry I don't know what I said wrong Rose please stop crying oh no I didn't meant to make her cry again"

"Shut up, Liam"

It was all too much for me. I couldn't tell whether I was overreacting or whether this reaction was completely normal, but I didn't know what to do. Before I knew it, Zayn took me into his arms and tried to calm me down. I knew it was Zayn, I could smell his cologne. "I'm a monster", I whispered, but I knew everyone heard it. "What, why would you say that?", Zayn asked me. I tried to turn away from him, but he firmly grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. It reminded me of the way that man grabbed me and pain went through my body, and Zayn noticed and let go of me. "Why dont you start by telling us why you were in the woods in the first place?", Louis suggested. He didn't seemed annoyed, more curious - but I was in no position to judge that right now. I was a wreck.                                                                                                                                                                                                       I took one big breath. "I-I was visiting Austin, that one guy from my m-math class", I started and I felt Zayns eyes on me. "We were studying for history", I added. I could hear him say "sure" under his breath, which earned him a kick from Liam, who was next to him. I tried to hold in my tears. "I was walking back home, and-d there was this creepy man who walked behind me", I continued, but was again stopped by Zayn. "Did he grab you? Or touch you anywhere else?", Zayn asked. "Let her tell the story Zayn", Niall said. "H-He called me and I was getting scared and t-tried to run away, but then he grabb-bed me and push-hed me against that wall", I stuttered. "I knew it! That stupid prick, I swear to god tell me where to find him and I will -", he began, but I stopped him. "He's dead!", I yelled. I could feel the tears in my eyes again. Everyone was quiet, so I explained. "I killed him. I'm a monster, don't you get it?". The end of my sentence just came out like a whisper. "I thought you were just half vampire? You said you didn't crave human blood", Liam said. "I don't know why I did that. He had a knife and it brushed my arm when I tried to get out of his grip and I saw my own blood and got angry and then -", I stopped mid-sentence. "Shhh, it's okay", Zayn tried to comfort me, which didn't work at all. "I dont deserve any sympathy", I told him. "We're not even a tiny bit better than you. We kill everyday", Niall stated. "I hate that. How can you even live like that? Knowing, you killed hundreds of innocent people?". "It's our instinct. We kill to survive", Louis explained, but that didn't really make up for it. I always tried to push the fact that these guys killed people everyday away, but now I couldn't. I didn't want to turn out to be like one of them. Thinking of that, I remembered my parents. My father would be so disappointed of me. Gosh, why did I do this? Why did it have to come to this? If I didn't meet the guys in the first place I wouldn't have gotten in any trouble at all.     

 They were all sitting around of me, waiting for me to say something. "I should probably go now", I announced, wiping away my tears. "Thanks for your hospitility, I really appreciate it. If it wasn't for you, I would still be in these woods". I just asked myself why they were there, but then I realized they were probably just hunting. I shivered thinking about this. I had to leave, I couldn't stay any longer. I quickly got up and tried to walk away, but Zayn reached for my hand. He touched me in a gentle way, yet I quickly janked my hand away from him. He hesitated a second but said "Can we talk for a second?". I looked at him. "My mind is a mess right now Zayn, I really cant talk with you now, whatever it is. I need to be alone", I explained and without waiting for an answer I left the house, eager to leave everyone here behind me. I stopped when I saw my necklace on the desk in the floor. I grabbed it and put it as close to me as possible, wishing I never let it go in the first place. Then I left.

______________________________________________

I wasn't ready to face my parents just yet, but I couldn't stay there any longer, it killed me. Right now I felt like I could never get over myself, and again I asked how this all could happen. I never even knew I was able to do such a thing, since my behaviour was way more human than vampire. Thats what my parents were always so proud of - I could easily control myself. I didn't know what triggered me to kill that man, but I looked at my medaillon and thought, maybe my grandmother had answers. Or..my parents.

i'm not super happy with this chapter but i hope you guys are happy i finally updated again, i feel so bad because i had this nearly finished like more than a week ago lol sorry