Various anime character one-shots (open to requests)

[Lolness] Levi Ackerman

Title: Little Potato

Anime: A tack on teetans

WHAT HAVE I WRITTEN OMF

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"(F/N), my cute little potato~!" Hanji complimented, holding you in her hand and rubbing her face against you.

"Mama, you're squishing me, potato." You said and Hanji stopped.

"Oh, sorry." She said, putting you back down in your cotton filled pot. You were a potato that was made and grown in a cotton-filled pot by Hanji. She once took you, a small, unpeeled and uncooked potato from the kitchen and put some weird elixir on you. Then, small (E/C) eyes and a mouth grew on your potato face, your skin became smooth, bumpless and pink and most of all--YOU WERE ALIVE!!! Hanji grew you in her room in a pot, and suprisingly, you didn't grow any roots but grew in size. She kept you as secret from everybody, afraid that someone might throw you away or even worse--EAT YOU. You called her Mama because, well, she's like your mom. She always told you stories about the outside world, and the person that you liked the most in her stories was none other than Lance Corporal Levi.

"Mama, please tell me a story about Levi, potato." You said.

"Okay then, my little potato, snuggle up in your pot, this one is going to be a sad story." Hanji said.

"Sad, potato?"

"Yes, this is a story of how Levi lost his squad members." Hanji said and you snuggled up in your pot, listening intently. "There was once a big, mean, person named Annie Leonhart. She was a titan shifter."

"Ooh, like Eren, potato?" You asked.

"Yes, exactly. She killed a lot of people, then disguised herself as a member of the Survey Corps. She got close to Levi's squad members and killed them, one by one. Levi saw their dead bodies and he became really, really, sad."

"That's so sad, potato." You cried into your cotton, then the door flew open to reveal the one and only, Levi Ackerman.

"Oi, sh*tty glasses Erwin is--WHAT THE F*CK IS THAT?!!" He cut off his own sentence when he saw you.

"Ahh! (F/N), hide!" Hanji yelled and you jumped out of the pot and into her arms and she hugged you.

"I've already seen it, now tell me what the f*ck is that?!" Levi yelled and you snuggled into Hanji's arms, scared.

"It's not an it! She's a girl! And yes, she is a pink, living potato!" She said angrily.

"A girl?! The potato has a gender?!"

"Yes! And she is my daughter, (F/N) Zoe!"

"Your daughter...is a...potato..?" Levi stopped yelling and gave Hanji a what-the-f*ck look.

"Yes! And stop insulting her, Levi! She has feelings too, you know!" Once Hanji said his name, you calmed down and looked at her.

"He is lance corporal Levi Ackerman, potato?" You asked.

"The potato is talking...and it knows my name..." Levi gave you and odd look.

"Yes, potato! You are my idol, potato! I want to be as skilled as you, potato!" You said cheerfully.

"What?"

"I've told her stories about you." Hanji said. "Come closer, (F/N) wants to meet you." She said then looked down at you. "You want to meet him, don't you, (F/N)?"

"Yes, potato! More than anything, potato!" You said. Levi curiously came closer and held a hand out for you to hop and you gladly jumped out of Hanji's arms and onto his hand.

"The potato is...smooth and warm..." Levi said, petting you. His gaze softened. "What a cute potato..." Your potato cheeks were tinted with a pink potato blush.

"Thank you, potato."

"She can stay with you for a while, but don't you dare harm her!" Hanji said.

"I'll take that offer, sh*tty glasses." He said.

"Yay, potato!" You cheered.

"Take this pot." Hanji said, handing Levi your pot and he took it and left with you.

"Hey, what are you exactly, potato brat?" Levi asked you.

"I am a human, potato. I was cursed by a witch to become a potato, potato." You answered and he raised an eyebrow. "Mama Hanji saved me and brought me back to life, potato. But the transformation wasn't complete, potato. And I am still a potato, potato."

"What the heck..." Levi said as you two walked down the hallway. You cuddled into his chest without him noticing. Ah, this was the start of a good, potatoey life.

-to be continued-

Wtf have I written, seriously...