My Foster Mom Wanted A Daughter - Book 2 Of A Series

Chapter 20 : Counseling

During the two weeks following Miss Pentecost and Miss Simms visit, Angelo had two meetings each week with a psychologist assigned to the child welfare department and two each week with a child welfare chosen private psychiatrist who specializes in serving teenagers.

The private psychiatrist, being that she didn't actually work for the county, was able to convince Angelo she was on his side. This allowed him to be more honest and open with her.

During the course of his visits, Angelo expressed to the psychiatrist how he didn't entirely trust the motives of the county psychologist. He told her he was afraid that the guy was just looking for a way to ensure Miss Pentecost could remove him from Mary Elizabeth's home. Which made it hard for him to open up with the guy.

The psychiatrist explained to Angelo that, whether he trusted the guy or not, he had to be honest with him or none of this would help his case. She assured him that if he was completely honest and open with the guy everything would work out because the two of them had to make a recommendation to the child welfare department together, on his behalf.

In the end, Angelo was brutally open and honest with both of them. Their questions and techniques may have been different, but both learned a lot of the same information from him.

He told them all his deepest, darkest desires. He shared with them how, every time he sees an attractive girl, he hurts on the inside from so desperately wishing he was just as pretty and feminine as her.

He revealed how he had never felt like a boy and how uncomfortable he had always felt, trying to live up to everyone's expectations.

He explained how he felt so inadequate, a complete failure at being a male, and how naturally comfortable he felt when he dressed in girl's clothes and was seen by others, as a female.

During Angelo's last session with the county psychologist, the conversation became quite different from anything Angelo had discussed in his sessions with the lady psychiatrist.

He began to ask Angelo if he remembered, as a young child, a time when anyone ever forced him to dress up as a girl and if he had ever been sexually abused.

He wanted to know if Angelo had anyone in his life, now or in the past, encouraging him to dress and act feminine in exchange for gifts and /or money or in exchange for better treatment.

Angelo didn't like these questions and they made him uncomfortable, but he remembered what the psychiatrist lady had told him and so he answered them all.

The truth was, he had never been sexually abused but he did have an older cousin, David, that had treated him badly.  He was around eight at the time. Even though the questions brought up bad memories for him, he opened up and talked about it.

Angelo explained that he was eight and his cousin David was fifteen years old when they lived near each other and David frequently had to babysit him.

David was always picking on him, bullying him, and pointing out his delicate, feminine mannerisms. He always made fun of Angelo for the feminine ways he acted and was always telling him that if he kept acting like a girl, he was going to make Angelo into a girl.

Angelo told the psychiatrist that David gave him the name Suzy and would always address him as Sissy Suzy when no one else was around. He said that his cousin had this thing where he would kick him between the legs every time he felt Angelo was acting feminine. This, David had told him, would either convince him to man up or eventually would destroy his physical manhood.

As Angelo shared this information he began to tear up, for the memories were emotionally painful, not very much unlike the intense physical pain caused by the frequent groin kicks.