The Waiting One Part II: Waiting for the End

Sharing Sentiments

Readjusting was a slow process. Zachary continued to work, and Serronie stayed home. She still didn't feel the need to be out in public very much. Things were different though. He enjoyed taking her out to eat on Friday nights. It would be fine until it was time for them to order drinks. It was a hit and miss, sometimes Serronie was easygoing, and other times, she was skittish. There were times that she only wanted bottled water, because she knew it hadn't been tampered with. Other times, tap water was just fine. And she didn't order alcohol if a man was a waiter.

Zachary understood, but her ways offended him. He felt as though she didn't trust him to protect her. He didn't make her go anywhere alone. He would always test her drinks first and then give them to her. And if she had doubts about whether or not her drinks were potable, she would send it back. Better safe than sorry. They still enjoyed each other's company very much. There was so much to talk about. After months of not being together, waking up in the same bed was the best.

One evening they came in from hanging out with some friends. It was a Thursday night, so they weren't out late. Zachary came in and headed straight for the bed. He stretched out and sighed. Once his eyes were closed, he felt the side of the bed sink down. Serronie climbed next to him and rested her head on his ribcage.

"Chilling like this with you is the best part of my day," he said as he rustled his fingers through her hair. She smiled warmly and nestled closer to him.

She replied, "I stare at the clock all day, waiting for you to get back, I always hate to see you go."

"Well, I can always quit, and we can live off love and Spam," he joked. Then he giggled as Serronie did a fake gag.

"Spam?! Gross! I'd rather try eating the love!" Serronie squealed.

They went on, joking and laughing for a while. It seemed as though their conversations never dried up. Serronie, in fact, loved Zachary's smile, so when he laughed, she loved it endlessly. Though Serronie's laugh was goofy, he would accept her laughing all day and night. After all of the crying he'd seen her do, laughing was always a great thing.

Zachary stroked her forehead with his fingertips, "This is what I like, to see you happy. To even see you laughing, just makes me feel like we're gonna be alright."

She stared off for a few seconds and hugged him tighter. "It's just funny how things work out."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Just thinking back on our big fight, that was so crazy. I remember actually thinking that this moment would never happen again," she explained.

He nodded his head and spoke, "I remember feeling the same way. And please believe, I hated it, but, the scales always have a way of balancing themselves out."

Serronie traced her fingers over Zachary's abs as he massaged her upper back with his right hand. "I just don't know how I went that long without you", she said, slightly above a whisper.

Zachary scoffed flippantly and grinned, "I have no idea how I did it either. I could ever do that again."

She snuggled her face into his chest deeper, "I'm horrible though, for leaving you that way, it's a wonder you still even like me."

He felt for her chin, hooked his fingers under it, and gently lifted her head so she could look at him. "Hey, look at me..." and she gazed at him as he continued, "You didn't leave me, I let you leave, and that was my own fault. You did what was best for you and Linden. I was not myself, and I was not even worthy of you."

She smoothed a fly-away curl back behind her ear, "But, I know you were hurting, because I was as well. The only reason I didn't want to curl up and die is because of Linden. He kept me going, he helped me cope. But you..." she reached for his mouth and stroked her finger over his lips, "You had nobody, Zack, like nobody, you had to do it alone, you suffered alone." She paused and pressed her lips in as though she was trying not to cry, then she continued, "And it's hard to forgive myself for letting things be that bad for so long. I walked out, and I should have returned to make it right."

"Come here," Zachary requested as he pulled her forward by the shoulders into his chest. She sat sideways in his lap and stared down in shame. Zachary embraced her protectively and kissed her forehead, "Baby, I'm not worried about the past. It hurt that much because it wasn't right, we weren't meant to be apart. And that's something I needed to feel, because now I'm positive that I NEVER want that feeling again, and I don't want to be without you again. So it all balances out, I'll take that pain again, for how happy I am with you right now."

Serronie's eyes welled up with tears and she hugged his neck tightly, "God, I love you..."she said trailing off and laughing.

An alarm went off on Serronie's phone. She jumped up, ran to the dresser, and silenced it. Then she pulled a pink compact from her purse, popped a small white pill from it, and swallowed it.

"What are those things you eat every night?" he chided with a raised eyebrow.

She responded amiably, "They're my birth control pills."

He chuckled, "Well, you don't need those. Abstinence is the best birth control, and you're doing that very well."

She blushed, "I know, but, I'm just forming a good habit, I won't be abstinent forever."

Zachary's face lit up! "You promise?!"

Serronie rolled her eyes, "Shut up, Zack."

"Nah, but really, why birth control?" he asked on a serious note.

"I just think it's a good choice. They suck, but, it's necessary," she contended.

He pouted for a second. "So, you don't want a baby?"

She saw the disappointment in his face. "I do, Zack, I really do. Now is just not a good time for it. Storms are brewing in our lives right now, and I just don't need the stress of a pregnancy."

"And you said they suck. Why is that?" he questioned further.

Serronie smirked, because it was clear that Zachary had no clue. "They suck because they sometimes make me sick."

"Why keep taking them then?"

"They're kinda supposed to make me sick, because they trick my body into thinking it's already pregnant. So, I'll have some mild morning sickness and stuff. My sisters take the same kind, and it happens to them too, so it's normal."

"I don't want you taking those forever, baby."

"I'm not sweetheart, it's just for right now. When everything calms down, then we can think about a baby," she assured him with a warm smile.

"Hopefully, that won't be too long from now," he stated while picking at his nails.

"I hope the same, hunny," she declared. Then she turned off the light, and they were off to sleep.