Victory or Sovngarde

Chapter Five

Two guards pulled Dragonsreach's doors open for me when I made it to the palace. I had to stop in the Wind District and pick up my weapon and helm. I had hastily cleaned the blade before sheathing it at my side.

I stepped into Dragonsreach with my feet plodding heavily against the floor. The Jarl was not seated on his throne, so I had to ask the two guards next to the empty seat where I was supposed to go. The guards pointed me up the next set of stairs, towards the living quarters and the bedrooms. I found the Jarl and Marina standing over a table strewn with maps and other random assortments of parchment.

"Thank you for coming, Harbinger," Balgruuf said, looking up briefly. "And thank you for helping us earn that victory."

I nodded, setting my helm straight on my head, then leaned against the table next to Marina. "What is this?"

"The next Imperial strategies as well as new troop movements throughout the Hold," Marina said. Her voice was strong, even if her face was weary. "Since the Jarl has made the wise choice of joining the Empire, the Legion has freer movement on the roads between here and Falkreath. It's quite a relief." She sighed and crossed her arms. "Maybe this costly war will be over soon. I wish I knew how many men I lost today. The bodies are still being tallied."

I bit my lip. While I may have lost only two fighters, that was one-fifth of Jorrvaskr's ranks. And they were not going to be easily replaced. If they could be replaced at all.

"I suppose you Companions are all drinking the rest of the night away," Marina said, interrupting my thoughts. "I told the Jarl not to interrupt your reveling, but—"

"We aren't drinking or celebrating," I said to cut her off.

"Isn't that what you do? You all survive a battle, and you revel?"

"Maybe, but we didn't all survive."

"Oh." She fell silent, staring at the table in front of her. "I—"

"Don't. Don't apologize. I don't need it."

"Ylva," the Jarl said, resting a hand on my shoulder, "you and the rest of the Companions have my deepest condolences."

"Like I said, I don't need apologies. I am fine."

"If I may ask, who did you lose? Gods forbid your husband or—"

"Torvar and Ria. They were in the Companions before I joined, and they were both so close to ascending higher in our ranks." I shook my head. "If you'll excuse me, I have to prepare for their funerals. We must honor our dead as soon as possible."

"Once again, I am sorry. I did not know you were preparing for such a thing. Whatever I needed to tell you can wait until later. Come whenever you can, but do not rush."

"Thank you, my lord." I offered a slight bow, then turned to leave.

"I know my apologies mean nothing to you," Marina said which made me pause before I could make it to the stairs, "but I am sorry. For what happened, and for the way I treated you. My original assumptions that the Companions were invincible, and that they were unwilling to die for strangers were wrong."

I did not say a word; I just stalked down the stairs and out of Dragonsreach.

Jorrvaskr was empty when I pushed open the doors. Even the fire in front of our dining table that always burned had gone out. Only the embers remained.

The door leading to the living quarters burst open then, and my children as well as my niece and nephew came trotting up the stairs. Embla had tears streaming down her face, and her arms were stretched out to me. Jergen soon followed her example, and they both wrapped their arms around me.