Money (boyxboy) (Cashby)

Chapter One

Alan

Austin Carlile is just one big, bad, crazy, fun, sex god.

Everyone in this school practically falls to his feet, he's hot, and although he's cool, everyone fears him. Not me though, I've known him since second grade. I know the real him. I'm in love with him.

I know everything there is to know about him. All his secrets, all his thoughts, all his dreams, all his regrets, all his favorite things, and all of his least favorite things. You name it, I know it.

God, do you know how hard it is to not look at him and want to kiss him? Not spill my feelings for him and let him have his way with me?

But he's straight.

And I just wish I could have him. But how can I have him if he likes girls and I haven't even come out yet? I can't. I just can't.

Even if we did end up together, I could never tell my parents about it. No one could ever know, it would get to my parents eventually and then I'd be screwed. We're a strictly Christian and wealthy family, so that means holding up a 'good reputation' is important.

Sometimes I just wish I could be someone else.

I've always wondered what it'd be like and how I would have turned out if I hadn't grown up Christian.

Would my parents still be anti-gay? Would I have a boyfriend? Would I have ever met Austin? I mean, that's how I met him. Through church. His parents aren't as Christian as mine, they're the rare, friendly, pro-gay Christians. I wish they were my parents. Anyway, Austin doesn't go to church. He only went that one time after some convincing from his parents and he absolutely hated it, but they were cool with him not following christianity. He had made a scene that day, laughing at what the priest had said, commenting on everything he thought to be absolutely ridiculous.

I laughed at a few of the jokes he had made that day and that's how it happened. He looked at the only other person laughing in the room- me- and smiled from across the room. Of course by then, I had already known I was gay, so automatically, I found that I was attracted to him and he ended up talking to me after church had ended.

We exchanged numbers that day, I thought he might have been hitting on me and that I was lucky...but he never showed any interest and I never really found him talking about anyone he liked. Of course he's straight though, he loves the attention he gets from the ladies.

But yea, I don't have a chance.

I'm supposed to meet him after school today so we could hang out. I already told my parents I'd be staying after school for a project, so I'm all good.

There were only a few minutes left of class and I was staring off at the window, thinking about Austin. He knows I'm gay, I'm just surprised he doesn't know how in love with him I am.

I guess that's good though, there's no chance at him making fun of me for it. With that last thought entering my brain, Austin appeared across the street, waving at me with a grin on his face. I continued to watch him out the window as my eyes widened. What the hell is he doing out of school?

He held his phone up and pointed to it. I rose my eyebrows and took my phone out. Sure enough, there were three unread messages from him.

Loml💙: Hey, I ditched and went to circle K. Whattaya want?

Loml💙: Alaaan, baby ;-;

Loml💙: Fine fuck you, I'm getting you an Arizona and hot fries.

I smiled, he was so stupid, he was sweet.

I was about to text back but he sent another message.

Loml💙: Your smile kills me

Loml💙: I'm gonna fuck you so hard

My face went red. I hated when he joked like that. God, I wish he'd fuck me. He's such an ass.

I turned to look at the window, he was giving me his cocky smile. I raised my hand, flipping him off and glaring at him. He laughed that Austin laugh and I could practically hear it from here. I smiled, looking away.

Me: Fuck you

Loml💙: I love you

Me: Ya, whatever

I wish he meant that.

"Alan, give me your phone!" I snapped my head up at the teacher. Shit. I solemnly handed her my phone and she took it, striding back to the front of the class. "You can get this when class ends."

Twenty minutes left.

I groaned, Turing back to the window, Austin was laughing, then he bent forward and stuck his tongue out, flipping me off with both fingers. God, he's a bitch. Why isn't he gay?

I kept watching him though, as he sat down on the sidewalk in the cold winter air across the street. He leant against a pole and looked up at the sky. He let a lazy smile fall to his face as he closed his eyes. Austin always knew how to appreciate the world. He loved the world, he always told me being outside made him feel alive. I love that about him.

I had spent the rest of my time thinking about Austin rather than following along with what the teacher was doing and before I knew it, class was over and Ms.Day was handing back my phone.

I bolted out of the room, running outside to go meet with Austin. As soon as I stepped out to the front of the school, Austin was there with an Arizona in his hand, grinning.

"What happened to the hot fries?" I asked.

"You don't need hot fries. You've got the hottest thing standing right in front of you." Austin smirked. I wanted to agree, but decided against it, saying nothing. "I'm kidding."

Austin pulled out a bag of hot fries from behind his back.

"Ah, you always know how to please me." I smiled, we headed towards his motorcycle.

"I can please you in better ways." Austin smirked. My face went red. I laughed awkwardly. Why don't you?

"Oh shut up...you're not even gay." I mumbled.

"What makes you say that?"

"You like girls." I scoffed.

"I never said that."

I stopped walking, turning to look at him behind me.

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"My point exactly." I huffed, walking again.

"But I like boys too."

At that, my heart stopped and I stopped walking. But I like boys too.

"What?" I asked, not turning to look at him this time.

I felt him walk up to me as he rested his chin on my shoulder from behind.

"I like boys too." He whispered.