Money (boyxboy) (Cashby)

Chapter Five

Alan

"You were supposed to cover for me, you fucking asshole!" I screamed. Because of him I had to spend more time in that fucking basement, inside that fucking box. Aaron's eyes went wide when I pushed him against the lockers. Everyone in the hall went silent.

"I don't have to do shit for you anymore!" He spat.

"I'll out you! I'll fucking do it!" I yelled angrily.

"I'm already out! I don't care anymore! You were never really my friend anyway!" He yelled back. 

I was ready to throw a hit, my fist raised high in the air, but a hand wrapped itself around my forearm.

"Austin, let me go!" I yelled, knowing it was him.

"Princess, this isn't you, you need to calm down." He growled. He held me around the waist and I was helplessly trying to lunge at Aaron. I was so pissed. He doesn't know what he made me go through. He doesn't fucking know!

"Let go of me! Let go!" I yelled. Teachers came storming down the hallways and finally, Austin let go.

I ran as fast as I could, tears streaming down my face as I ran out of the school and down the street. I ran and ran and ran, hoping that if I ran fast enough, I could somehow escape what I was feeling.

Nobody knew about it. Nobody knew how terrified I was. I couldn't do this anymore. I just couldn't. I didn't run home. I didn't run back to the school after a few hours. I ran and I ran until my shirt was drenched in sweat and I was in a neighborhood I had never seen before. I was lost and I was okay with that.

I wanted to be lost for a little bit. I didn't want to go back, I just wanted to stay here and pretend like I didn't have the life I actually had.

I sat in front of a house, in the driveway since the car wasn't there. I shut my eyes, my hands in my hair as I pulled my knees up to my chest.

Images flooded my mind to last night. To the first time, to the second, to the third, to the yelling, to the begging, to the crying, to the look of apology in my moms eyes and the hate in my fathers. I pulled my hands away from my knotted hair to look at what raw skin had been cut open and begun the process to scab from hitting the nails on the inside of the cooler for too long. I clenched my teeth, hoping not to let a sob escape, not wanting another god damn tear to fall for the same thing. I should be used to this. I should. But I was still blaming other people for how weak I was.

I shouldn't have slept over without permission, especially not with Austin, I was wrong, I'm wrong. It's my fault they did this, they're just trying to help me become a better person. It's all me. I should know better.

Austin's name came up on my cell phones screen placed next to me as it buzzed. I pressed ignore and let out a sob as just the mere thought of him now scared me. I can't see him anymore, I can't do it. I can't risk my parents finding out again and them punishing me again, I just can't.

He called again. I hit ignore. Then he called again. Again, again, again, so much that I had to shut off my phone. I needed to think. He wasn't worth this. Or was he? Was he worth the panic attacks in the small freezer? Was he worth my claustrophobia and extreme fear of the dark? Was he worth the nightmares I had?

Could I sneak around with him without getting caught? If I'm not so careless next time?

Surely, I only slipped up this once with the sleepover. It's okay. It ha been four months that I'd been punished before yesterday and I was still seeing him. It's fine. I just need to be much more careful and aware, less reckless, I need to be responsible. I can do this.

-

I was home right on time, punctual. I greeted my mom and my dad like I should, headed upstairs and worked on my homework.

"Alan."

It was my dad. My back sat straighter, my shoulders tensed and I held my breath as I stopped writing.

"Yes, father?" I didn't look at him.

"Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. I want you down there right now to help your mother set up the table. Don't break the fine china. Make sure it's perfect, yes?"

I turned to look at him. I nodded. "Yes, father." He smiled as I stood up and went past him downstairs.

"That's my son, always listening. Now, we just had a minor slip up yesterday. You're okay now." He spoke behind me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and I jumped.

It was true. When I say I was very respectful, I mean it. I'm always following orders, always listening and helping out. My few slip ups were only ever with Austin and...come to think of it, only Austin. I frowned as I made my way to the table.

My thoughts were still running like wild horses and I couldn't find a way to lasso them in. I love him. I'm so in love with him, there's no way he's bad for me, right? Maybe my parents are right.

Maybe the underclass did bring nothing but trouble.

"Alan, would you help me with the food, darling?" My mom had been looking at me.

I smiled tightly.

"Yes, mother."

A/N: I'm sorry about how grim this is lately lmao and in sorry I don't update often xD I guess I'm just hoping the story I really want people to read will start getting more recognition but whatever. I guess I like writing this one too 😌👌