Dead

Remembrall ~(-_-)~

A while went by and i forgave sam. I just couldn't get what he said out if my mind. "You don't like him. Its your imagination playing tricks on you since you so desperate to feel". I just couldn't forget it and the more i thought about it, i realized....he's may actually be right. I AM desperate to feel again. This feeling of....NOTHING, is the worst possible feeling ever. I'm just numb and emotionally detached. I honestly wouldn't even care if the work ended right this second. I would have rather just stayed dead rather then live and not feel anything.
I went to watches dorm and told him that i was going to start staying at Sam's again and it was better off that we didn't see each other for better or for worse. I get the little amount if stuff i had there and started back to Sam's room but on my way i starts to feel slightly light headed. I rubbed my forehead and just continued to walk. I didn't think anything of it cause i still wasn't that use to not feeling pain so i sort of forgot. I barely got two feet further when my head started pounding. I fall to the ground with my head in my hand. The pain was excruciating and my eye sight went blurry for a few seconds. I then start to see flashes of...i don't even know what! There was fire, giant meat hooks, and people screaming for mercy. I couldn't move. I was paralyzed with fear. Chains were holding me down and crushing my bones but i couldn't scream no matter how much i tried. I began to return back to reality with a few flashes and the next thing i knew....i was sitting on the concrete, breathing heavy. I don't know what that was. I don't think i will ever under that. It was the most terrifying i have ever seen in my life, and that saying a lot. I'm just going to try and forget that ever happened and hope it never happened a again. I stand up and pick up everything off the ground, rushing to Sam dorm. I need to leave here, NOW.
****
I finally get to SAMs dorm room and throw my stuff into my suitcase. "Whoa whoa whoa, what are you doing?" Sam says walking over to me. "Sam, I'm sorry. I need to leave here NOW." I say all in a rush. I slam the suitcase shut and quickly walk towards the door. Sam jumps in front of me and stops me. "Ky, wait. Whats wrong? Why are you leaving?" He says bringing me back to the couch. "S-Sam i have to go. I cant stay here. I don't care where i go i just-.....i- i don't know anymore".
The memories of when sam said i was desperate to feel started coming back into my head. I even try and feel sad Bout it but nothing comes up. NOTHING. I bring my head to best on my knees and sigh, trying to think about what to do. Sam rubs my back in understanding. After a few minutes i look at him an he smiles. "Are you okay now?" He asks looking into my eyes. I just nod and stand up. It was getting late and Sam was starting to get tired so he went to bed. I just laid there. Hours went by and the sun just wouldn't rise so i got out bed and went on the computer. I go to Facebook and see that everything about me was deleted. Everyone saying 'sorry for your lose' to my family and everything like that was just GONE. Glad to see everyone is done with the grieving and has forgotten about me. I'm not even being sarcastic. I am glad. Maybe soon i can go back home an just live a normal undead life with my friends. Probably not but hey, a zombie can dream. I go to see who is on and see that Cat was. I remember that time is Different where she is. I text her and ask when she was coming back and of course she got mad. "kY, TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN'T GO IN FACE BOOK CAUSE PEOPLE WILL NOTICE!" She replies completely ignoring my question. I ask one more time and he replies with, "i'll be back tomorrow at 6. Now get off of Facebook. If you need anything, call me or text me on Sams Phone so no one else sees. Bye". I roll my eyes and log off. The sun had actually rose and and sam was just waking up. Wow. One second its night and then somehow its day. Sam rubs his eyes and looks at me. "Morning" he says kinda confused. "What were you doing?" He asks. "I was talking to cat. She said she will be back today at 6 so you don't have to worry about me anymore." I tell him grabbing a change if clothes. "O-oh, um. O-ok." He says looking down. "Hey? you okay?" I ask confused. "Y-yea. Its good you get back. Maybe you can find out about this whole dead thing and try to find a cure or something." "Yea, i hope so. Well, I'm going to go take a shower". I walk to the bathroom and hope i the shower. I honestly cant wait to get back. I need a cute for this. I cant live like this forever. Correction, i WONT live like this forever. I'd rather die... Well again. AND STAY DEAD.