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Episode 13 - Team Screaming Exercise

Nagisa: Didn't we make a pact to stop her from doing this weeb sh*t?

Rei: Is it considered that even if we're Japanese?

Haru: I'm Romanian.

Nagisa: I'm Dutch Irish.

Rei: Why have you two never mentioned this?

Nagisa: *makes an "I dunno" sound*

Makoto: If Kou wants to play dress up and make pictures instead of getting a job or something we should be respectful.

Kou: GET BACK TO PRACTISE!

Nagisa: Run! Before she kills us with her bad Japanese and Sword Art Online phone case!

Kou: Baka's! I bought this outfit on Etsy from a real Japanese person! It's not weeb sh*t! Hm? MY WEEB SH*T! Aw man, it's gonna take me forever to put this on- Hm? This better not be more of Nagisa's weird porn... Oh.

*intro plays*

Nagisa *in bad Japanese*: Kono bangumi wa guran no suponsoru no teikyou de okurishimasu. Buy some shirts.

Nagisa: Please call the police, because I look so good in this it should be against the law. Don't actually call the police though, I will incriminate all of you.

Rei: Admittedly the jackets do look rather nice. But what is this?

Text: "Swim or die"

Nagisa: It's intimidation factor. I'm pretty sure the Samezuka team are all genetically splashed with ocean predetor animals. We need all the edge that we can get.

Rei: That's impossible.

Nagisa: You ever seen Street Sharks? Not impossible.

Makoto: Nagisa, for the last time! Street Sharks didn't really happen!

Nagisa: Then explain Rin.

Makoto: Fair point. Now who's swimming what? Nagisa?

Nagisa: Boobstroke.

Makoto: Rei?

Rei: Butterfly-

Nagisa: Buttstroke!

Makoto: Haru? Haaaaruuuu?

Haru 1: -aND HARU'S UP ON ON THE TURNBUCKLE! HE'S GOT 'EM IN A PIN! THIS COULD BE OVER FOR HARU, BUT WAIT! WHO'S THAT COMING DOWN THE RAMP? IT'S THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION JOHN CENAAAA!

*people cheering and John Cena's theme playing at the end*

Haru: *hums John Cena's theme*

Makoto: Okay. We'll just, uh.. Put you down for free style then.

Kou: EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND LISTEN!

Rei: What is this?

Text: "Old Iwatobi Regimen and Weird Pornography"

Haru: Is this more of Makoto's weird porn?

Kou: I expect this from Haru, but can't the rest of you read?

Haru: Cheap shot.

Kou: Anyway, it's the old Iwatobi training regimen. The old Iwatobi team were gods among swimming and put themselves through hell on four deserted islands. To emerge hardend water warriors!

Haru: Yeah but didn't they train on all those islands where all those teenagers were killed? And those witch burnings happened? And all that toxic waste was spilled?