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Episode 9 - Dream Journal

(Intro plays)

Nagisa: I wonder if people will catch the Kandinsky referance on my poster. Hmm.. Hello. Hey, Ryugazaki! You like massages? I know a great Taiwanese place! Great service, doesn't ask too many questions, if ya feel me. Eh?

Rei: Ah, you are refering to your..illicate activities. So, yes, I feel you. I feel you well. But as I said last time, I am not interested in asociating with you. I am now going to walk away. Do not follow.

Nagisa: I hate it when you leave but I looove watching you go.

(Later at the track field)

Nagisa: Come on, we're gonna be late!

Haru: You're pulling on my swimming arm.

Nagisa: Look, look! There he is! Look at him in his stupid glasses and his dumb outfit. I have to have him!

Haru: Yeah I've seen him, he's in my scrapbook class. He cuts the eyes out of magazine photos.

Gou: Haru, you scrapbook? I'm working on a dream journal project on ab muscles for...Biology. Could you help?

Nagisa: We can talk about decoupage later! I'm formulating an attack strategy.

Makoto: Why don't you just be yourself and tell him how you feel?

Nagisa: Thanks for the life lesson, boy meets world. How's your repressed love life doing?

Makoto: I don't know Nagisa, how's your mother's drinking problem?

Nagisa: Below the belt, Makoto.

Gou: Prem your noiseholes! He's about to jump!

Rei: The disarm is simple. It is a matter of closing the gap. Nineteen strites, three shots from the make end model. They are afraid. Accuracy deminished. One more step and... Inpact.

Coach: Rei? You alright buddy? Okay, just walk it off, big guy.

Makoto: That was amazing! I wonder what's going through his head when he vaults. What goes through your head when you swim, Haru?

Haru's 1, 2 and 3 singing: His coconut gun can fire in spurts. If he shoots ya, (Ha!) it's gonna hurt!

Gou: Who cares about his brain? Look at that body! This is going in my dream journal!

Coach (in the background): Oh, and he's up. Cancel the ambulance! Rei? Ah, he's monologuing again.

Rei: Cleanup essential. Must procure supplies. Rock salt. Sodium hydroxide.

Nagisa's thoughts: Oh baby I'd vault his pole. Don't say that out loud, sounds stupid.

(Later at the train stop)

Nagisa: *hums* Hm? Hey how's it going, run buns?

Rei: That is not my name!

Nagisa: Well you like to run, and I like yo buns. You can call me-

Rei: Nagisa Hazuki, aliases: Rockhopper Hazuki, the Iwatobi Ice Pick and on your last studio album, Big Pappa NG. I know who you are.

Nagisa: I see my reputation as a mastermind and entrepreneur proceeds me.

Rei: I do hope you are using te term "mastermind" as a form of comedy joke. Your arrest record is exstensive. And amateur.

Nagisa: You challenge one teen pop star to a drag race and suddenly everyone's talking abou- AMATEUR? I killed a man with a Speak an' Spell once!

Rei: As I said, amateur. The fact that you continue to avoid indefinite incoursaration is insanity. AND THE FACT THAT OUR LAW INFORCEMENT CANNOT PUT AWAY SOMEONE WITH SUCH A BLATANT DISREGARD OF CONVENTIONAL CRIMINAL FUNCTIONS, BAFFLES THE MIND. I'VE DEVOTED PAGES OF MY DREAM JOURNAL TO FEELINGS AND SPECULATIONS ON THIS STATISTICAL IN-

(The next day in class)

Nagisa: I got shot down. Wouldn't say yes.

Haru: Wouldn't say yes to what?

Makoto: To joining the swim team?

Nagisa: Ooohh right, we on a swim team.

Haru 1 (Thinks): Wait wait wait, we're on a swim team? I thought this show was about drugs or something.

Haru 2: I don't know Haru, just go with it.

Haru: Maybe you should ask if he wants to be on this..swim team.

Nagisa: Swim team nothing, I want that boy to be my bride!

Haru 1 (Thinks): Tank, tank! I need it out here!

Nagisa: Wait. If he's on the swim team, then I'll be around him all the time. I'll be on that boy like Miho on a centerfold spread.

(The guys turn around)

Miho: Hello boys.

(Manly screaming from the classroom)

(Later at the pool)

Nagisa: Damn, Miho's faster than she looks!

Gou (In the background): Hello?

Makoto: And she tore through that chain fence like it was tinfoil!

Nagisa: Pilates will do that, man. Works your core.

Gou (In the background): Boys?

Nagisa: Well I do.

Gou: Hey! H2Hoes! I got us a joint practise with Samezuka!

Nagisa: How'd you swing that?

Gou: I got in good with the Samezuka coach.

(Flashback)

Seijuro: Joint.. Practise? Why should I help you?

Gou: I've got a case of nutty ice and a DVD copy of Old School

Seijuro: Well what are we waiting for? Let's go bro! Let's...g'bro!

Gou: Wow, you sure said that.

(End of Flashback)

Nagisa: Nice job Gou, that's-

Kou: Kou.

Nagisa: Huh? Agree to dissagree.

Makoto: I can't believe you passed up a joke about joint practise, Nagisa.

Nagisa: Low hanging fruit, Makoto.

Gou: The practise is at 4:20.

Nagisa: You're killing me right now!

(Later at Samezuka academy)

Rin (Thinks): Blood and tears..

Nitori: Well, they were here first.

Rin: Hm.. What'd you say?

Nitori: Oh, I only meant well. I was just explaining that I thought practise would be more interesting because it has your old teammates. Remember? I said: "There's gonna be joint practise!" And you said: "When's it at, 4:20?" And we laughed and laughed and then you walked off and forgot your jacket and your.. And your jacket smelled just like my mother.

Rin glares at Nitori.

Subtitles: End!

Nitori: Maybe that was just in my dream journal. Heh..