Blackbirds

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

He sat on the plane to New York. He'd already bought himself a little apartment with the money he had. But he'd start getting paid soon enough and he wouldn't have to worry. He looked out the window as they flew over another nameless state. The flight was basically to the other side of the country and he just wanted to cry. He had left the man he loved behind in California. He wondered how Chester was doing right now. Was he ok? Hopefully he wasn't having any pain flashes. He looked down at his leg, his arm. It was Chester's fault that he was here right now. He sighed and tugged his baseball cap over his eyes. He wanted off this flight and he wanted it now.

It took another three hours but he was walking off the plane into New York. He couldn't believe it. It was so packed and huge. He looked around and started on his way out of the airport. He got a taxi to take him to his apartment and then he was alone. He'd have meetings with the team and then practice would be distracting to him. But today was a day where he had no distractions. He was all alone and he thought about the only other person who knew how this felt. Chester. He wanted to call the other man so badly. But Chester didn't want contact with him anymore. So he'd stay away. He unpacked the small amount of stuff he had with him and nodded slightly as he looked around. What could he do now?
​The next day he met with the managers and captains of the Yankees. Of course, he knew he wouldn't be playing much early on since he was just a rookie. Everything was so new to him now though. It was weird. He didn't like being so new to everything. He liked knowing what was going on. He sat down in the dugout and watched the Yankees play their game but he felt left out. He continually checked his phone to see if he'd gotten anything from Chester. He never did.

​Maybe being a professional baseball player wasn't as great as he thought. But then maybe he had to get better first. Maybe he could show what he did in the chances he got to play. He opened the door to his apartment and set down his stuff. He needed the money. He sighed softly and glanced at his phone that he'd set down on the table. There was a new message.

​'Hey Mike. You promised you'd tell me that you got to New York safely you fuck!'

​Mike laughed softly and shook his head. Chester was such a jerk sometimes.

​'I'm at the big city Ches. Thanks for checking up on me.'

​There wasn't a response but Mike honestly didn't expect one. He sighed softly and turned his phone off. He wanted to talk to Chester longer than just that. But he knew the other man was probably busy with his job and everything. He just hoped that Chester was happy. That's all he cared about. He made himself something to eat and looked at the empty table. He'd eat by himself again. He missed having Chester smiling back at him and telling him that he was getting better at baseball. Telling him that he was going to play again. And now he was but Chester was long gone. Back in California. He sighed as he remembered that night back on the baseball diamond when he had run around Dodgers' Stadium. That had been something he'd always dreamed of doing and now here he was in New York thousands of miles away from the man who had never missed one of his baseball games. There was a knock on his door. He frowned and walked over to it.

​"Hey there! The name's Rob," the guy said, "I saw you walk up earlier and I realized I'd never introduced myself to you."

​"Oh hey," Mike said, "I'm Mike."

​"Well hey Mike," Rob said, "How you liking the place?"

​Mike let Rob come in so they could continue the conversation, "It's not bad. It's just temporary though."

​"Oh. Well that's cool. So who is that?" Rob pointed at the picture that Mike had of him and Chester standing together.

​"That's.....Chester," he said quietly, "He lives in California."

​"Oh. When did you guys meet?"

​"A long time ago. We were good friends ever since kindergarten. I just moved to New York."

​"Oh....so he's still back in Cali? You miss him?"

​"Yea. A lot," Mike replied turning away from the picture. He missed Chester.

​"Why'd you move here then?"

​"I....I'm going to play for the Yankees," Mike said. Rob looked at him.

​"So you're their new draft pick? That's cool. Hope you're good."

​"Yea me too," Mike said and Rob laughed quietly. Rob didn't seem like a bad guy. He seemed pretty cool. Mike felt comfortable to talk to him. He seemed pretty understanding. He sighed and put his dinner stuff in the sink. He'd wash it later.

​"Something bothering you?"

​"I guess," Mike shrugged, "Just weird getting used to living here."

​"Kinda lonely right? I felt the same way. It gets better."

​"I hope so. I feel like moving back to California right now. Telling him it was all a big mistake. That I don't want to be a baseball star anymore. I just want to spend my life with him."

​"Whoa. Whoa. Hang on. Rewind please. Spend the rest of your life with him? Are you like engaged?"

​"What? No. He's.....well....."

​"Your boyfriend?"

​"Yea," Mike said lowering his head.

​"Hey, it's cool. Honestly, one of my best friends is gay. I don't care. I totally understand what you're going through. I had a girlfriend in Florida too and then I moved."

​"Sorry," Mike said, "Do you ever miss her?"

​"Yea a lot of the time. I just try to remember that the only reason that they didn't come with us is because they're happier there."

​"Yea," Mike said quietly, "Well I'm gonna go to sleep."

​"Alright. I'll see you later," Rob waved at him. When Rob left, Mike felt tears in his eyes. Was Chester happier without him? Was that what it was? Had he been screwing up Chester's life? Was Chester glad to be rid of him? No, he couldn't feel like that. They had loved each other. He walked to his bedroom and then collapsed on the bed. He didn't know what to do anymore. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be here anymore. What if his place was at home in California, hugging Chester to his chest while the other man cuddled into him? Maybe that was where he was supposed to be. He didn't want to admit that he was doubting himself but he really was. He just wished Chester had come with him. Then this whole problem would've been fixed. Then he would be here with the love of his life playing baseball. It was the best possibility. But of course it wouldn't come true.

If he looked back at his life, nothing really worked for him. His best friend had fallen into drugs and self-harm. He would throw up his food all the time. His baseball career had been compromised when he crashed in the car. He'd lost both his arm and leg. But he'd gotten to be part of this. Part of this team. Maybe this was when things would start to get better. Maybe Chester would make a full recovery. Maybe he would return to his full power at baseball. Maybe Chester would move out to join him once he saw how amazing he was.
But there he was again. He had once again fallen under the spell of his life dream. Chester would come if he wanted to. Not if Mike was just doing well at baseball. He'd come if he wanted to. Mike couldn't make him come. No caliber of playing baseball would bring Chester to him. But maybe things would get better. Maybe he'd be able to knock a homerun in during this season. That would be a good start.