For Daryl Dixon [part 1]

It is not funny Daryl Dixon (31)

Rosita, Abraham, Tara, Eugene, Sasha and Tyreese had gathered enough gas to fill three cars. We found a small Honda civic, a four door truck, and a small SUV. After we filled up everyone's tank people started filing into the cars. Rick, Carl, Judith, Myshonne, Noah, Tyreese, and Sasha pilled into the truck. Tyreese offered to sit in the bed of the truck for the first drive. I watched Maggie and Glenn hop into the small SUV. Abraham, Rosita, Tara, and Eugene took the Honda civic. Carol opened the back door to the small SUV and I climbed in. Daryl was already sitting behind the driver's seat where Maggie was and I smiled at her. She smiled back and then waited for Carol slide next to me and closed the door.

After an hour or so I pulled out my journal and flipped through the pages again. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate the way I used to in my room so many months ago. I thought about what Daryl said and wrote it in cursive across the top of the blank page. We'll make it work. I knew what to write as soon I finished the last letter. I wrote with intensity and felt Daryl's eyes burning in the back of my head. He was trying to read it and I didn't mind it was about him after all.

It felt strange being this close to Daryl with Carol next me. I knew she had an idea about us, everyone did, but I never knew what they thought exactly. Did they think he was just treatin' me like a little sister and figured we just gotten used to each other being alone on the road... or did they think we were just hooking up to pass the time? Both options made me shudder with embarrassment. It wasn't like that. I tried to keep my eyes open the longer the car ride went on but felt my head fall a few times before Daryl shifted his body to lean against the window and tapped his chest for me to lie down. I looked at Glenn who was staring straight ahead unfazed then to Carol who had definitely noticed what Daryl was doing. I was so tired I didn't even care. I bent my torso towards him and rest my head under his chin. I felt his arm shift behind me and his hand rest on my thigh. His fingers curled back and forth sending chills through my veins. I tried to close my eyes and forget he was touchin' me but it was kind of impossible with his breath ticklin' my ear sending chills all over me.

"You cold?" He asked me now and I saw both Carol and Glenn look at me.

"No." I quickly said but he started rubbing my shoulder anyway. His fingers now grazing my breast with each motion. Stop it. I wanted to say and opened my mouth to let out a breath and opened my eyes quickly when the breath turned into a soft moan. Holy Shit! Did I just moan in front of my sister and brother in law? In front of Carol? My face got hot and I felt Daryl stiffen next to me. I definitely just made things awkward. "Sorry." I mumbled and wished myself anywhere but in that car. Daryl didn't move the rest of the drive.

****

Rick pulled his truck over and motioned us to do the same. He ran out of gas. Maggie got out of the car as soon as she put it in park. No matter how long we drove the sound of my moan echoed in my brain and I'm sure everyone else's. I didn't move as Glenn followed her. I looked over to Carol who was asleep.

"Well that was the most horrifying thing ever." I said to Daryl and he was smiling. "Why are you smiling? I just embarrassed the crap out of both of us."

He started laughing and I hit him on the chest.

"It is not funny Daryl Dixon." I said a little too loud and felt Carol wake up next to me.

"Oh are we stopped?" She said and I nodded trying not to make eye contact. "Well why don't the two of you take a moment to collect yourselves. Wouldn't want people getting the wrong impression, would we?"

With that she got out of the car and shut the door a little harder than necessary.

"Oh. My. God." I put my head in my hands and felt my face flush red. "Daryl."

He wasn't laughing now. His face had changed and I knew he was embarrassed now too. What was awkward and an innocent joke was now incredibly awkward and extremely not innocent.

"How the hell did just me rubbin' your damn shoulder make you moan?" He asked without changing his expression. I could tell he was irritated. Whether by me or what Carol said I wasn't sure.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." I said getting aggravated for him blaming me. "You were the one rubbing my thigh and then my breasts... not to mention you breathin' in my ear the entire time, of course I felt somethin'. It's kind of hard not to."

This made him laugh a little. "Guess I gotta remember you're still just a-"

"A what?" I asked hoping he wasn't about to say what I think he was a bout to say.

He just shrugged. "Nevermin'."

"Oh. No, please continue."

"Nothin' girl. Just drop it."

"A virgin! You think I'm still a virgin!" I said and turned my body to face him.

He just looked at me and a trace of anger crossed his face.

"Ain't you?"

I just shrugged my shoulders. "You'll never know."

I don't know why I said that and didn't just tell him the truth. Of course Iwas. I tried to imagine that he was but knew that was a lie. His life beforeall this was probably filled with women. Older women. Not twenty year olds whomoan when he touches their shoulder. I felt myself getting angry at the thoughtof the other women and I crossed my arms. It was silent when Maggie and Glenngot back in the car. Maggie didn't smile back at me this time. Great.

"Everything good?" Glenn asked me now, feeling the tension in the car.

I nodded at him and saw the door open beside me. It was Sasha.

"Where's Carol?" Maggie asked now still not looking at me.

"Asked if we could switch." She slid in next to me and Maggie started the car.

Only another thirty miles left.