You, Minus the Fame

Chapter 13

I sat on my front porch, hugging myself. Snow was falling and the ground was now completely white. The tree on our yard was now bare and there was no trace of life left anywhere. Shivering, I wondered why I was out here. I hated winter and the cold, and I was wearing nothing but a black sweater over leggings. But no matter what, I found myself planted to the step I sat on.

Looking up, I thought about the fight I had with Reece. Seeing him mad had caught me off guard, and his words were stitched into me painfully. In the case I was in, I knew usually I would have just forgotten about the boy who hurt me - even have been happy I had lost him, but right now I felt empty. I guess that was why I stayed outside and freezing. It was better than thinking about how empty and hurt I was inside.

The door suddenly flew open behind me and I jumped. Looking back quickly, I saw Britney staring at me with a frown on her face. To my surprise, she actually looked concerned as she stepped outside in nothing but a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms.

"What are you doing out here?" Britney asked, hugging herself.

"I'm admiring the beauty of the first snow fall," I lied, forcing a smile.

"What a lie." She rolled her eyes and went over to my side, sitting down next to me. "You hate winter."

I looked down at my feet. It was stupid to lie to your own sister, I knew, but I didn't want to talk to her about my problem either. Reece was something I liked to keep to myself. Even now, when he hated me.

"What's wrong?" Britney asked as I stared at the snow piling up on my shoe. "You seem distant lately. It's scary when you seemed to changing."

"Didn't you say I was always brooding on my own," I said, looking at her. "Nothing's changed."

"You were changing," she said. "I lied about you brooding all of the time, but you were finally not this girl who stayed in her room all of the time. You had a life. You were smiling. Why has that stopped suddenly?"

I looked away from her as my heart dropped. There was an answer to that question. One that hurt a lot more than I would have ever expected it to.

"Is it because of that boy?" Britney asked, scooting closer to me. "Did something happen between the two of you?"

As Britney's green eyes stayed on mine, my heart stung. I felt tears rising and I tried to fight them back. Seeing my sister looking genuinely concerned hurt so much, but I really didn't want to talk about this. Not when the boy who hurt me was still someone I liked.

Seeing my sister shiver, I asked, "Aren't you cold? Why don't you go back in?"

"Seeing my sister like this is way worst then freezing," she said. "It's hard to be inside where it's warm when you're like this."

This time, I didn't fight back tears as I stared at her. I had never seen this side of Britney. She had never tried to help me like this. It was warming, but not healing since Reece was still at the back of my mind.

Looking away from her, I asked, "What's wrong with me?"

"What?"

"Why do I need to change?" I whispered, feeling a tear slip down my cheek.

I tried to keep myself staring at the tree that had snow piling up on its branches. It seemed to be carting a huge weight, and the thought caused another tear to fall down my face. If only I was stronger, I thought.

"You don't need to change," Britney said gently. "Why do you think that?"

I laughed bitterly. "You always tell me that I can't get anywhere in life the way I am."