The Things We Lost // l.p.

Chapter 46

My eyes flutter open slowly, a small smile creeps onto my face as I remember last night. I stretch and roll over on the bed, expecting to find Liam there but he's not. I frown as I glance around my room, his clothes are gone from the floor. The only trace of him is the still packed suitcase sitting exactly where he left it last night, untouched. I untangle myself from the sheets and find my pajamas scattered on the ground, picking them up and holding them against my chest as I walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Anxious to find Liam I quickly get dressed and do my bathroom business, smiling in the mirror, feeling different this morning. I walk down the steps, light on my feet to find Liam sitting at the kitchen table and my dad cooking something on the stove, both of them in conversation.

"That's just what I'll have to do." Liam states and turns the page to the newspaper he is reading.

"Sounds to me like you've got it all figured out." My dad says turning and catching my eye, giving me a good morning smile.

"What's all figured out?" I smile to both of them, taking a seat next to Liam.

"I'm going to move onto the yacht for a little bit. Until I can get a job and save up for an apartment." He says giving me a glance and then returning his eyes to the paper. My heart jumps at the idea that he is actually serious about this. It makes me happy knowing that he is already determined to take his life over in his own hands. I guess right now all I need to do is just hope he doesn't fall flat on his face.

"Won't your dad find you there?" I ask remembering that the yacht is his father's.

"There's always a chance, yeah, but he rarely goes down. Maybe twice in one summer, at least now anyway." His voice saddens and I can tell it reminds him of when he was younger, when his dad wasn't as bad, but certainly not much better. Part of me wonders what made his dad so cruel, why he turned into such an asshole. The man has been blessed with a beautiful family yet he treats them like shit.

"Okay..." I say quietly. I kind of liked the idea of him staying with me for a while but I don't want to keep him from doing what he thinks he has to. "Do you want help getting set up down there?" I ask hopeful, knowing that today I have no plans.

"No, I'll be good. But you can come down tonight for dinner?" He suggests and finally puts the paper down. I glance down to see Matilda on the cover, the headline reading "Local Heiress Engaged to Mystery Man" and my jaw drops in disbelief. I snatch the paper up, looking at Matilda's picture next to the headline.

"Dad, what is this?" I ask turning in my seat to show him the paper. He looks at the paper, before he puts down the spatula in his hand and grabs it from me. His eyes scan the cover, before he quickly slams the paper down on the table. "Is Matilda seriously engaged?" I ask wondering who in their right mind would ever want to marry that woman.

"Yes, she is." He comments turning back to the stove to finish cooking breakfast.

"To who? I didn't even know she had been seeing anyone." It seems surreal. The idea of Matilda ever seeing anyone hasn't crossed my mind even once, because who would want to be with her? She is annoying and obnoxious. Her money makes her intimidating and she always has way too much perfume on. If others can see past that, than I must be small minded.

Must be the second one.

"They've been together for a while now, they're keeping it a secret but I'm sure we will all know who it is soon." He says and removes the french toast he cooked from the pan, setting it on a plate to serve. "Are you staying for breakfast Liam?" He asks changing the topic. I look over to Liam with hopeful eyes, only to be disappointed.

"No, I need to go home and get a few things, my father shouldn't be home this morning so it's my best shot at not running into him." He says and stands up, placing a kiss on my cheek he bids us farewell and heads up the stairs. My guess is to get his suitcase from my bedroom.

"He's not going to be able to avoid his father forever." My dad says quietly, joining me at the table with a plate of food.

"He's certainly going to try though." I mumble and listen as the front door closes. I hope him moving to the yacht is a good choice. I'm more worried at his father finding him than I am about him getting kicked out in the first place.

"What are your plans for the day?" My father asks pulling my attention to him instead of the closed door that Liam just left through.

"None I guess, except for later tonight apparently." I sigh and grab a pancake from the plate he sat down on the table, not bothering with a plate or silverware and holding it in my hands. My eyes go to the crumpled newspaper my father slammed on the table when I subconsciously reach out for it. I take one last look at the headline before I stand up and throw the paper away in the trashcan, settling the fact that I don't want to remember ever reading it. I find it extremely difficult to believe anyone would willingly marry Matilda, and I certainly don't want to be reminded of it.

"Why do you hate her so much?" My father asks distraught.

"I don't know." I lie without hesitation. I do know why. I hate how she is nosey, and how she buys me things. I don't need her to buy me expensive gifts that I can't afford. I hate how nice she is to me and how she sucks up to me. I hate everything about her. She never acted like this before my mother died and I certainly don't want Matilda to pity the fact that she did die. Even if my father doesn't see it, it's clear in my eyes. Whenever she does something nice, or kind it makes me feel like she is trying to be my mother. Like she could replace the one I had before- even if the one I had before wasn't the best, she certainly can't be replaced. That's the biggest reason I hate her, because I feel like she is trying to weasel her way into my family and I won't stand for that. I can't stand for that.

"Emily?" My father questions and I jump, forgetting he was here.

"What?" I snap, annoyed by my thoughts.

"Nothing." He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and sucking in a breath of air. I frown and turn on my feet, leaving him to whatever mood he is in and going to my room. I take the stairs two at a time and burst through my bedroom door. I pull a dress from my closet to change into and I get my backpack with all of my camera stuff in it. Since I have nothing else to do all day, I'm going to walk to the park that is closest to my work. Maybe I can hide away there and take pictures until I have to meet up with Liam later.

My mind is running back and forth between thoughts of Liam and his father, and Matilda and her fiancé, whoever he is. I can't accept the concept of how drastically and quickly things seem to be changing. I thought everything up until now was bad but it just seems to be getting worse and whether it is all for the better I don't really know.

My life seems so messy right now. I've never noticed it before today but now I know and it's clear to see that I am living day by day. There is no stability left and certainly no organization. With everything around me changing, trying to make sure that I don't would  be stupid because it's inevitable.

Change is constant.

Probably the only consistency in my life is change. Taking the day for photography will bring the feeling of nostalgia. Back to when things made sense and everything was sorted out. Especially since my past is clearer than any future with Liam will ever be.