Thirteen

Thirteen - Chapter Five

"So he just... walked away?" Lexi's eyebrows furrowed. She'd asked that question over fifty times and I'd answered with the same thing over and over again and she still didn't understand. I sighed loudly and laid my head on the table, listening to the sounds of the lunch room.

    And I was still shaking from the experience with Sebastian.

    I had wanted to die; I had literally heard my voice inside my head yell, Kill me now! I knew what I was, I knew I was a monster, but I'd never wanted to die before. If I had I would've done it a long ago, to be brutally honest. If I'd ever felt like this before I would've killed myself a long time ago and then maybe I wouldn't be in Nova. Maybe I wouldn't be trapped.

    No, I couldn't think that. I was in this terrible place for a reason and I was going to help the others escape. But I couldn't do that if I was dead. I shouldn't have given up so easily; I shouldn't have laid out my life for Sebastian to crush just because I'd maybe scared him.

    Maybe, subconsciously, I had wanted to... die because I didn't want to see anyone else frightened of me. I wanted them to like me for who I was, not scared of what ability I had. But then trying to force myself to stop turning into something to protect myself had almost ruined my mind in return.

    "He just walked away" I said it slowly and deliberately so it would sink in, looking back at Lexi's comical expression. She sank onto the bench and frowned. As she thought, Scarlett flopped next to me with a tray piled high with food and immediately started digging in.

    The door to the cafeteria swung open and Merlin walked in with his hands behind his back and being followed by two huge men. He tried to make it look casual, as if he were used to having large guys following him around, but he did look slightly smug that he had bodyguards. They were obviously escorting him to lunch; they had to treat him just as normal as the rest, but once he saw us and slid into the free seat next to me they walked off to join their own table.

    "Hey," He said offhandedly but I could have swore I heard something in his voice. Looking down at me, he grinned and nudged me. "How was your time with Sebastian?"

    My eyes narrowed. "How did you know about that?"

    "I hear things" His smile turned sad and his eyes burned into mine as I tried to uncover what he meant by that. Had he been there? My eyes never left his as I tried to think and that's when I noticed the hidden... pity?

    I think he realized that I'd seen it for he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight. He was so warm and comfortable that I found my arms snaking around him to hug back. Did he know...?

    Everything will be alright.

    I gasped. There was the voice again! So I hadn't imagined it. But whose voice was that? It didn't sound like a persons voice; it was just different whispers inside my head.

    "So," Merlin sighed when he pulled away. "What did happen?"

    "He walked out" I started getting slightly annoyed that I had to keep repeating myself. Why was everyone finding it so hard to understand that he'd just walked out?!

    "Are you sure?" Rufus took the seat next to Lexi with an even higher plate of food than Scarlett's. "That doesn't sound like Sebastian"

    "I'm sure!" I exclaimed, jumping up and slamming my hands on the table. "I'm not crazy! He just-" I cut myself off when Sebastian walked through the door. Sitting down slowly, I kept my eyes on my food and refused to look at him.

    Lexi glanced back and suddenly straightened, becoming more alert to her surroundings. She whispered to Rufus and he looked round, not caring if Sebastian saw him. The way they acted around him made me think that Sebastian had done something to try and drive them apart or something. I could tell they didn't like him.