She Cares. (girlxgirl) (editing)

II

The whole day I was nervous. I really hoped Nady would accept my apology. But somehow I still carried on with my day.
After school I went home and quickly tidied up my room.
When I finished I sat down on my bed and waited for her.

That's when I started to have doubts. What, if Nady thought it over and realized she didn't want to come over. I didn't want that. I wanted her to be my friend. Well actually to be my girlfriend, but I preferred to be her friend over her being a stranger to me.
I wanted to be near her. I needed her, even if she didn't know it.

After a few more minutes the door bell rung and I jumped up from my bed and run downstairs. I looked through the peephole and saw Nady standing outside.
My heart skipped a beat. I was so relieved. I really thought she changed her mind and would not come.

Slowly, I opened the door wide enough to greet her.

"H-hay." I stammered.

"Hey."

I stood there for a while, until I realized, I was staring. After that I opened the door wider to let her in.
"Come in." I said. Oh how I hated the atmosphere.

She went inside and we walked up to my room in silence.
I sat back down on my bed.
Nady put her backpack next to my closet and stood in the middle of my room, awkwardly.

"You can sit down."

This all made me so sad.
Nady and I never were so distant. Normally, she would just make herself comfortable on my bed and wouldn't even think about it. And now we were like strangers and I had to ask her to sit down.

She looked around and sat down on the far side of my bed after a while.

Did she really hate me this much? Why couldn't she sit next to me? What could I have done, that made her so upset? Why was she so angry with me?

"Nady," I said, as I moved next to her, "I am really sorry, if I made something to upset you. I don't know what happened, but I'm so so sorry. I don't want our friendship to end. You are my best friend. P-please forgive me. Tell me what I have done, how I can change."

I looked her in the eyes and saw her desperation.

"Please, Nady."

She didn't answer me and looked down.
Well, seems like she didn't want to be my friend anymore. I really didn't understand why.
But I didn't want that. I just wanted her as my friend.
I didn't want to lose her. Not her. Not my Nady.
I felt tears streaming down my cheeks as I sobbed.

"Pl-please. Na-dy. What did-d I do w-wrong?"

Her head snapped back up and she looked in my eyes.

"Yasmin.." She sighed.
"Come here." she said, opened her arms and embraced me.

Laying my head on her shoulder, I cried more.

"I'm sorry, Yass, you shouldn't apologize. You haven't done anything wrong. I'm sorry for what I said to you on Saturday."

I couldn't help but cry harder as I was reminded of the things she said to me. It really did hurt and it did still.

She held me and I was glad. She seemed to be sorry and like she still wanted to be my friend. And, honestly, that's all I needed for now.
My heart still ached because of the fight, though. It was so ugly and stressing.

"You want us to be friends?" I asked to make sure.

"Yes. Best friends, if you're still up to it?" she replied fortunately.

"Or course, I am." How could she doubt that?

She held me closer.
I still cried. I didn't cry often and when I cried I usually couldn't stop anytime soon. So I didn't even try to stop my crying.

"A-and you're s-sure I haven't done any-ything to upset you?" I asked. There had to be a reason for her to suddenly being mad at me.

"Yes. It wasn't your fault. Don't blame yourself. Please, Yass. You've never done anything wrong. Never. Okay?"

I sniffed and nodded.
"But what happened then? Why were you so upset on Saturday and so distant today and yesterday?"

"I'm sorry for being distant, Yass. I didn't meant to be. I was just so ashamed, because of what I did. I just was afraid to face you. I regret what I've done and I also was scared you wouldn't be my friend anymore, because of my actions this weekend. You know? You have every right to hate me, because of the way I insulted you."

She shifter her position but I grabbed a fist of Nady's shirt, so she wouldn't stop hugging me.

I answered her.
"I don't hate you, Nady. Like I said, you're my best friend. Actually-"

I stopped myself mid-sentence, before I told her about my real feelings for her.

"Actually I thought you hated me." I changed my sentence.
But it still was the truth.

"I don't hate you, you're my best friend. And it will always stay that way." She made a short pause. "You're perfect, Yasmin."

I blushed, I felt it. But I couldn't help but cry harder as I heard this. It partly made me happy and partly made me sad. I knew she just meant it in a friendship kind of way. But now I knew she also loved me, even if it is just platonically.

After a while Nady said "I'm sorry for making you cry."

"It's okay," I said, "I'm not mad."

"You're not?" She sounded surprised.

"No, I was more worried than mad. And, well, hurt but I'm fine now."

She leaned away from me. I didn't want to let go of her, but she broke the embrace and lifted my head to look into my eyes.
Before I looked into hers I wiped the tears on my cheeks away. She didn't need to see me like this.
After that I looked at her.

"Yasmin," she sighed, "look, you're not fine. You don't have to say that to me to make me feel better. You are obviously not fine, you're crying like a baby. That's not fine." she said, and she was right.

My eyes shifted back to my lap.

"Yeah.. It kind of still hurts.." I admitted, quietly.

She grabbed my hand.
"You forgive me?" She asked nervously.

"Ya!" I said, fast. "I never was mad, like I said."

"I love you, Yass."

"I love you, too, Nad." I replied, knowing she didn't mean it like I meant it.

She hugged me really close and I shut my eyes.
I really did love her.

"I'll never do something like that again. I promise."

"Thank you." I mumbled.

Nady sighed. "You shouldn't thank me for something like that. That should be sure. Sorry for being a bad friend."

"You're not a bad friend. You're such a good friend that you've made it to be my best friend."

She chuckled and I smiled hearing that wonderful sound. Afterwards it was quiet for a while and we held each other. I was still crying and sometimes sobbing. I couldn't help it and actually hated it.

"Let's cuddle." Nady said out of nowhere after a while. My heart skipped a beat.

"Really?" I was kind of surprised.

"Yes. Come on."

She didn't stop to hold my waist and back, but laid down with me. I ended up on top of her.
She covered us up and then went back to hold me.
I rested my arms on her sides.
She looked up to my wet eyes and face.

"Love you." she said and went to kiss my nose.

I blushed again and laid my head on her cleavage and shoulder hiding my red face from her.

I closed my eyes and relaxed.

I liked how we laid here. So close to each other.
It wasn't such a surprise that I fell asleep laying like this. I was tired from crying and it was comfortable with Nady and warm under the cover.
Nady also fell asleep.